I chose my degree subject to make my parents happy?
from a young age i have wanted to do psychology. everything about psychology fascinated me.
but when making choices, i kept looking into degrees, and things kept telling me psychology was useless, and extremely competitive if you wanted to do a doctorate. i kept coming across posts saying people regretted doing it. and my mum kept saying be realistic. what real prospects do you have with that.
so she urged me to do something more vocational. and to be fair i like the sound of this vocational degree she had suggested, and applied there, with a back up english. ofcourse it was very competitive and i ended up doing english at a fairly reputable university. my mum and dad kept wanting me to do english as it is perceived well by others, and they kept boasting to their relatives. and i loved them being proud of me. they said it would get me better jobs. and is more traditional than psychology.
i am doing terribly at it. hate it. and it seems like i'm getting nowhere with it. i fell out with my mum earlier this week. and that's when it dawned on me that i'm doing this degree because of her. she has a hold on me, and all i have wanted to do was make her proud.
advice?
but when making choices, i kept looking into degrees, and things kept telling me psychology was useless, and extremely competitive if you wanted to do a doctorate. i kept coming across posts saying people regretted doing it. and my mum kept saying be realistic. what real prospects do you have with that.
so she urged me to do something more vocational. and to be fair i like the sound of this vocational degree she had suggested, and applied there, with a back up english. ofcourse it was very competitive and i ended up doing english at a fairly reputable university. my mum and dad kept wanting me to do english as it is perceived well by others, and they kept boasting to their relatives. and i loved them being proud of me. they said it would get me better jobs. and is more traditional than psychology.
i am doing terribly at it. hate it. and it seems like i'm getting nowhere with it. i fell out with my mum earlier this week. and that's when it dawned on me that i'm doing this degree because of her. she has a hold on me, and all i have wanted to do was make her proud.
advice?
Your parents only want the best for you and a degree is only three years people who do psychology do tend to end up with non graduate jobs or unemployed so I dunno what to say.
Fair enough you did this to make ur mum happy but I really think that you should keep at it and try to get through the degree,because an english degree is really good.
Theres no point in getting depressed or upset over the fact that u made a choice for ur parents sake, just remember this for any next decision u make.
But also do remember that whatever our parent say to us it is always for our own good.
Good Luck
Theres no point in getting depressed or upset over the fact that u made a choice for ur parents sake, just remember this for any next decision u make.
But also do remember that whatever our parent say to us it is always for our own good.
Good Luck
This reminds of the film 3 Idiots (great watch if you have the time).
Pursue your passion, because this is your life and you don't want to end up unhappy for the rest of your life. Your parents have good intentions because certain degrees don't have great job prospectus, thereby you'll need to find some means of financial support which is why I think your parents wanted you to be realistic because they probably won't support you staying at the family home as an adult.
It would be a difficult scenario had you been at sixth form and deciding where to go, but as you're already into your English degree, perhaps complete that then pursue your talents in Psychology (masters, doctorate) or wherever your dreams go, the fields are quite closely linked anyhow so it'll only mean catching up on reading a bit.
Pursue your passion, because this is your life and you don't want to end up unhappy for the rest of your life. Your parents have good intentions because certain degrees don't have great job prospectus, thereby you'll need to find some means of financial support which is why I think your parents wanted you to be realistic because they probably won't support you staying at the family home as an adult.
It would be a difficult scenario had you been at sixth form and deciding where to go, but as you're already into your English degree, perhaps complete that then pursue your talents in Psychology (masters, doctorate) or wherever your dreams go, the fields are quite closely linked anyhow so it'll only mean catching up on reading a bit.
I've done art all of my life. I'm doing a Foundation Diploma right now in it because I thought that it's what I wanted to do and that it would prepare me for university, instead, it's completely sent me the other way. I now can not wait to get off of this course and go study English Language. I'm not at the BEST university in the world, however, they offer a work placement, their modules and course are perfect and interesting, and I also get to study abroad. It's a really good course and I can't wait for September. If I were to do art (like my mum and dad wanted me to do) I'd have hated it, and I'm really losing my enthusiasm for it.
My advice is, go through clearing or extra. Do what YOU want to do because it's you who'll be paying back the loans at the end of it all, not your parents (I assume). Think of the skills you'll leave with, they're pretty much the same as English. How to analyse data, record data, write essays, communicate well, etc. I can't see a lot (or even any) differences in the skills which you'll gain from doing English compares to Psychology, which is what most employers will be looking for, on top of work experience etc. You degree does count, but it depends what you're wanting to do with your degree. Just go through clearing, or if you're feeling brave and fancy paying upto £9, then take a gap year and save up some money for uni, then reapply.
Good luck.
PS: I've just twigged that you're already there doing English. Can't you ask to switch courses? I aren't 100% sure if you can apply through UCAS again and just drop out of the university. Speak to Connexions or a tutor at the university that you're at.
My advice is, go through clearing or extra. Do what YOU want to do because it's you who'll be paying back the loans at the end of it all, not your parents (I assume). Think of the skills you'll leave with, they're pretty much the same as English. How to analyse data, record data, write essays, communicate well, etc. I can't see a lot (or even any) differences in the skills which you'll gain from doing English compares to Psychology, which is what most employers will be looking for, on top of work experience etc. You degree does count, but it depends what you're wanting to do with your degree. Just go through clearing, or if you're feeling brave and fancy paying upto £9, then take a gap year and save up some money for uni, then reapply.
Good luck.
PS: I've just twigged that you're already there doing English. Can't you ask to switch courses? I aren't 100% sure if you can apply through UCAS again and just drop out of the university. Speak to Connexions or a tutor at the university that you're at.
(edited 13 years ago)
replace psychology with journalism, and replace english with law, and you have where i am at. my mum used to talk to everyone about my degree, even the family doctor. but i was miserable, i became very depressed and secluded, and as a result i fell behind with my work. it's difficult to get the motivation to answer questions you dont want to know the answers to..
what did i do? i dropped out in the second year, got my last loan installment and went travelling. i realised my passion for food, and now i work in the food industry and eventually i want my own bakery. i came to the conclusion that i am an adult, and we make our own happiness in life - and being stuck studying for a degree i dont want/eventual career i dont want is not going to make me happy. sadly your parents may not take it well (mine didnt, and it took lot for them to come round to the idea), but that is life. not everyone is going to agree with everything you do. uni isnt everything, but if you decide to stay on, is there anything stopping you from changing courses aside from guilt towards your parents?
what did i do? i dropped out in the second year, got my last loan installment and went travelling. i realised my passion for food, and now i work in the food industry and eventually i want my own bakery. i came to the conclusion that i am an adult, and we make our own happiness in life - and being stuck studying for a degree i dont want/eventual career i dont want is not going to make me happy. sadly your parents may not take it well (mine didnt, and it took lot for them to come round to the idea), but that is life. not everyone is going to agree with everything you do. uni isnt everything, but if you decide to stay on, is there anything stopping you from changing courses aside from guilt towards your parents?
Original post by moonbake
replace psychology with journalism, and replace english with law, and you have where i am at. my mum used to talk to everyone about my degree, even the family doctor. but i was miserable, i became very depressed and secluded, and as a result i fell behind with my work. it's difficult to get the motivation to answer questions you dont want to know the answers to..
what did i do? i dropped out in the second year, got my last loan installment and went travelling. i realised my passion for food, and now i work in the food industry and eventually i want my own bakery. i came to the conclusion that i am an adult, and we make our own happiness in life - and being stuck studying for a degree i dont want/eventual career i dont want is not going to make me happy. sadly your parents may not take it well (mine didnt, and it took lot for them to come round to the idea), but that is life. not everyone is going to agree with everything you do. uni isnt everything, but if you decide to stay on, is there anything stopping you from changing courses aside from guilt towards your parents?
what did i do? i dropped out in the second year, got my last loan installment and went travelling. i realised my passion for food, and now i work in the food industry and eventually i want my own bakery. i came to the conclusion that i am an adult, and we make our own happiness in life - and being stuck studying for a degree i dont want/eventual career i dont want is not going to make me happy. sadly your parents may not take it well (mine didnt, and it took lot for them to come round to the idea), but that is life. not everyone is going to agree with everything you do. uni isnt everything, but if you decide to stay on, is there anything stopping you from changing courses aside from guilt towards your parents?
Took my mum two weeks to speak to me properly again and get over it. It's upsetting and you feel a dissapointment. But now, I just can't wait to get away from home and enjoy what I love doing and what I feel I'm best at
Original post by Anonymous
from a young age i have wanted to do psychology. everything about psychology fascinated me.
but when making choices, i kept looking into degrees, and things kept telling me psychology was useless, and extremely competitive if you wanted to do a doctorate. i kept coming across posts saying people regretted doing it. and my mum kept saying be realistic. what real prospects do you have with that.
so she urged me to do something more vocational. and to be fair i like the sound of this vocational degree she had suggested, and applied there, with a back up english. ofcourse it was very competitive and i ended up doing english at a fairly reputable university. my mum and dad kept wanting me to do english as it is perceived well by others, and they kept boasting to their relatives. and i loved them being proud of me. they said it would get me better jobs. and is more traditional than psychology.
i am doing terribly at it. hate it. and it seems like i'm getting nowhere with it. i fell out with my mum earlier this week. and that's when it dawned on me that i'm doing this degree because of her. she has a hold on me, and all i have wanted to do was make her proud.
advice?
but when making choices, i kept looking into degrees, and things kept telling me psychology was useless, and extremely competitive if you wanted to do a doctorate. i kept coming across posts saying people regretted doing it. and my mum kept saying be realistic. what real prospects do you have with that.
so she urged me to do something more vocational. and to be fair i like the sound of this vocational degree she had suggested, and applied there, with a back up english. ofcourse it was very competitive and i ended up doing english at a fairly reputable university. my mum and dad kept wanting me to do english as it is perceived well by others, and they kept boasting to their relatives. and i loved them being proud of me. they said it would get me better jobs. and is more traditional than psychology.
i am doing terribly at it. hate it. and it seems like i'm getting nowhere with it. i fell out with my mum earlier this week. and that's when it dawned on me that i'm doing this degree because of her. she has a hold on me, and all i have wanted to do was make her proud.
advice?
when i went to look around st Andrew's uni last april, i got talking to this guy who started out doing engineering, in the second year, decided that actually he wanted to do theology. So what did he do? he took up theology additional modules and then started again in september, beginning a theology degree. I know it's a different subject and a different uni but i just want to point out to you that you are not alone in feeling like this, i suppose it depends what year you are in at uni, if you only have one year left u would suggest sticking it out and doing psychology as a second degree to save wasting the money. If you have 2 years to do i would go with what you want and either switch courses or drop out and reapply for uni 2012 entry using this year to work. your parents wont like the idea at first but they will come around to it because at the end of the day, they want you to be happy. My parents wanting my brother to do 6th form but he went to college and did ICT, they weren't happy at first but got used to the idea. Towards the end of the course he decided he hated ICT, he stuck it out and finished it because he only had 5 months to go but now he is back at college doing professional cookery. I hope you work out what you want to do, remember, it's your life, your parents will come around eventually. Good Luck
Original post by Guy Secretan
Your parents only want the best for you and a degree is only three years people who do psychology do tend to end up with non graduate jobs or unemployed so I dunno what to say.
I'm pretty sure that many people who do English at university tend to have the same lack of job prospects, such as most non-vocational degrees in the current economic climate.
What his/her parents want is clearly not the best for him/her, as they are not enjoying the course and therefore they're not going to do well in it. I'm sure that failing university will leave them with fewer job opportunities than studying psychology.
OP: I decided to drop out of studying psychology this year due to the realisation that I had chosen the wrong course, like you. I rushed my decision to go to uni because it's what my parents had pushed on me, and I really didn't want to disappoint them. But I realised that it's my life, it's me who will be studying the degree and living with it. My parents were fully supportive once I explained to them how unhappy I was studying this course, and I came up with a plan of what I'm going to do before I reapply for next year, and they said they would be happy as long as I was happy. I think you should try talking to your mum, especially. Maybe your uni would let you switch to psych?
Well my mates brother done a degree in psychology and now works on a shop floor in Adsa, so i can see why your parents would be more willing for you to more career guided course.
But ultimatley it is your choose, If you feel that strongly on doing a course in psychology then do it! But don't be disappointed if you lack career prospects but it could also lead you to a strong competitive job which you would really enjoy!
But you have to remember it is always your decision not your parents
(Good luck choosing)
But ultimatley it is your choose, If you feel that strongly on doing a course in psychology then do it! But don't be disappointed if you lack career prospects but it could also lead you to a strong competitive job which you would really enjoy!
But you have to remember it is always your decision not your parents
(Good luck choosing)
It is just so much pressure. I have a big extended family circle, and everyone pretty much knows me as the one who's doing english at this good university. It's like my role in the family. would be such a let down. especially if i ended up hating the new degree. anyway, thanks for the advice
If you really want to do a degree in Psych, do it at a good university.
English won't give you any better careers. On the otherhand for Psych, if you focus on stats you can land yourself a well paid job.
English won't give you any better careers. On the otherhand for Psych, if you focus on stats you can land yourself a well paid job.
Original post by truthandtragedy
What his/her parents want is clearly not the best for him/her, as they are not enjoying the course and therefore they're not going to do well in it. I'm sure that failing university will leave them with fewer job opportunities than studying psychology.
What his/her parents want is clearly not the best for him/her, as they are not enjoying the course and therefore they're not going to do well in it. I'm sure that failing university will leave them with fewer job opportunities than studying psychology.
Agreed.
All they are doing is leading him/her down the wrong route, and that's not the best thing for the person, it doesn't take a genius to realise this.I am really surprised at the fact that Psychology has low job prospects... it thought it had good job prospects...
Anyway OP, try to see if you can switch courses. Do what makes you happy, you can't please all of the people all of thime, and what's the point of living your life trying to please people and seek approval? It' not okay. If your parents care and love you then they will come round eventually.
Anyway OP, try to see if you can switch courses. Do what makes you happy, you can't please all of the people all of thime, and what's the point of living your life trying to please people and seek approval? It' not okay. If your parents care and love you then they will come round eventually.
I chose my degree course because of my parents rather than for myself as well. Now I've finished, I've spent a year working and I'm starting my second degree in september, in the subject I wanted to to study the first time round!
I chose compsci degree (software eng) in a poly because I basically mucked up my science A-levels and my mum wouldn't let me go to a science based course because apparently human bio has no career prospects and she is 100% sure I won't make it to med school (wanted to do human bio for med school). Now, I am in 2nd yr of compsci (have an option to go to human bio but £9000 is a huge debt!) and regretting the decision but I don't want to disappoint her or my dad. I am hoping that I will be able to do grad medicine after this but even now my mum disagrees with me (apparently I am 'oh so old') and bio grads are 'jobless'.
Hang in there...you are not alone
P.S. I am only 22 yrs old
and yes I have very strict and melodramatic Asian parents.
Hang in there...you are not alone
P.S. I am only 22 yrs old
and yes I have very strict and melodramatic Asian parents.(edited 9 years ago)
I hate to say it but its your own mistake for caving in to the demands of others instead of doing what you thought was right and thats something you have to rectify. I suppose I was lucky that my mum was rather off hand with me when it came to me deciding what I wanted to study, my dad was a little tough to deal with, he wanted me to go to sea and work in oil though I have a bit of an antagonistic mentality that made me instantly disagree, I know what I wanted to do( study Biochemistry after I've done my Foundation degree) and when I have my mind set to something, nobody and I mean nobody can steer me away. It's your life, you've spent years studying aiming for something not for some other person to butt in and decide for you. You shouldn't be TOLD to do it, you should be offered an alternative and thats as far as it goes, you have to be the decision maker at the end of the day
Pushy Parents = Resentment , Do what you want to do.
What would you rather do? , Go against them and be happy or follow them and be miserable?:/
What would you rather do? , Go against them and be happy or follow them and be miserable?:/
i'm going to do economics next year its like my parent's dream. i'm fine with it cos all i want in life is money so my kids can go to private schools and not be poor like me but my real passion is languages, im fluent in 3 and learning 2 others and yet here i am 
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Law? Future degree
- Failing uni at the moment
- South Asian men (Muslim ideally): would you marry a med drop-out
- Career confusion ?!
- My choice vs parent’s choice
- Which one of these unis best for Supply Chain Management MSc
- My parents are pressuring me to change my a level options
- How to get over not applying to Oxbridge.
- my dream but my mother doesn’t approve
- Confused..
- Dad keeps criticising my university degree choice
- I'm not sure which A levels to choose and I'm in year 11
- Is it better to follow your passion?
- Brunel University ( integrated foundation year) or University Of Greenwich BEng
- Need practical advice: don't want to do med need more asian parent approved ideas
- Why did you choose your degree?
- Help me choose a A level
- Why I chose DMU for Postgraduate Study
- Hating my course in second year
- University degree or a degree apprenticeship?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
