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dating - when do you become 'exclusive' or 'bf/gf' in a relationship?

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This. No seriously this!

ok...well i went on 3 dates with a dude, he asked me 'will you be my gf' i said yes and changed my status asap. he hasnt changed his. it seems a serious move, i only did it cos i've not had a mnogamous bf for 7 years and my mates think im a homo

Reply 41

Schmokie Dragon

You don't want smart arse answers like "it depends" . . . ?

Well, it does depend. Some people I've become exclusive with before I've even kissed them, other times I've been sexually active with more than one person for several weeks. It really, really does depend. If I like someone enough, I'll have 'the talk' with them. I don't set arbitrary rules for how long I should date someone before I go exclusive.

My partner and I became exclusive a couple of weeks after we became sexually active with each other, having been friends for a long time. We talked about it and decided that we both wanted a monogamous relationship.

In the past I 'dated' people that I didn't know and often rushed into relationships because the 'friend zone' was a much feared thing. When two people are hunting for a relationship, it doesn't seem appropriate to put them on hold for months while you get to know them. There is too much pretence and expectation. It's simply not an organic, natural process. Too forced! I was friends with my partner for years before we became an item and so far we have been together for 3 years. I don't think I could ever go back to 'dating' random people.

Reply 42

*Dreaming*

1. when do you have the talk to become exclusive?
After a few dates you usually know really

2. when do you start referring them as your bf/gf?
After knowing quite a bit about each other, being on dates,....some may want to have sex before they become "official".
3. when do you change your FB status?
I'd wait about a month after becoming bf/gf

Reply 43

popdrops

After he asks the question.

Reply 44

icedragon

I wouldn't have dates with more than one girl on the cards at any time anyway. When you start calling each other bf/gf, then you're bf/gf! :smile:

Reply 45

hippieglitter

Original post by shinytoy

is this normal/common? what do most people do? people that think it is juvenile, do they just say 'partner'? im catholic and 'partner' seems to imply immoral premaritial sexual relations. any other ideas? im too embarrassed to say boyf

I don't know anyone who thinks it is juvenile, my old singing teacher is older than my mother and she still said boyfriend. Partner either implies a homosexual relationship or an old couple who never married for whatever reason. It just sounds old to me.

Reply 46

shinytoy

Original post by *Dreaming*

awesome answer!! :smile:

thanks

1. i agree
2. i thought when you decide to become exclusive, you ARE bf/gf? or is there a time when you agree to be dating exclusively and NOT bf/gf yet?
3. why? if you have a bf/gf then why cant you change it striahgt away?

Original post by popdrops

After he asks the question.

why do guys ask the question but wait several months before changing their FB status? if you ask someone to be your bf/gf you are in a relationship so should have no problem being honest on FB and saying you are in a relationship! you are not single!!!

Reply 47

Alison1992

Original post by *Dreaming*

After knowing quite a bit about each other, being on dates,....some may want to have sex before they become "official".

i think this is quite important, if you're not compatible in the bedroom an 'official' relationship is going to prove difficult

Reply 48

Bipedalmale

I want to have loads of different girlfriends, I will make sure they are okay with it first though, or at least let them know it's strictly an open relationship.