Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Racist girlfriend

Hello, I'm in a bit of a moral quandary, as my girlfriend has just admitted that she is actually hates black people.

We've been dating for about 6 months and it's honestly the happiest I've ever felt. The issue hasn't really come up, because we're both from Devon and it's actually pretty rare to see a black person out and about even in towns. Also there are very few black people at my university so when she's come up to visit me here it's not really been evident.

I'm not blameless myself, at school we used to make pretty racist jokes because that's just what seemed amusing to everyone, as there wasn't anyone that took offence, and they were all unfounded, obviously insincere slurs anyway. So when she made the occasional remark I just attributed it to a common sense of humour. But then a few nights ago when she was visiting me, we were having dinner and she asked to sit in the seat that wasn't facing a black couple. Then she went on to make pretty derogatary comments about how arrogant/loud they were being, lack of table manners, etc, even though they were no different to the rest of the diners. I asked her about it and she said she always felt that she was superior to them and that they made her feel a little bit ill, and that some sort of apartheid should be introduced.

I'm no angel but this has been causing me a lot of distress. I don't really have any black friends but it does make me think less of her. But I really, really don't want to think about leaving her. She's kind, generous, funny, considerate. She's my best friend and closest confidant and I would do anything for her.

What do you think I should do? How should I bring it up?

Thanks guyz

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Denzer

Mention your thinking about taking her on romantic holiday to Ethiopia, if she gets all racist then start interrogating.

This way she "brings it up" for you and you are fully justified in questioning her, because most (unracist!) girls would really love a holiday to Ethiopia.

On a different note its great being in this pos rep sandwich :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 2

username652226

I don't know how you can be with someone like that, I wouldn't even talk to someone with those bigoted, racist views.

Dump her ass, and make it clear why you're doing so.

EDIT: Why the negs? Racism should not be tolerated AT ALL. Hate against others based on thier colour of skin is impossible to justify.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

Alia223

Okay, it is worrying because it's very hard to change how a person thinks, especially if she's grown up with that ideology that white people are more superior than black people.
Umm, how could you bring it up? Maybe watching movies that are based on slavery such as Roots or talking about music that you may listen to and see if she likes any of the black artists around like Rihanna or Beyonce and go from there - and that's your chance to start a formal discussion! Good luck.

Reply 4

Fallen

Wow. I have no advice, I just want to say sorry.
Try to convince her otherwise?

Reply 5

Steevee

Eh, if there's not many black people around and you can ignore it, it doesn't have to be a problem. Everyone has their views, and obviously they aren't affecing your everyday life. I realise I might get negged for this, but hey, live and let live, if noone's getting hurt. And I can't see that you leaving her will make her any less racist so there's nothing to be gained from it.

Reply 6

PAPAdawg

dayam where can i get me a gf like this?

Reply 7

Staatssicherheit

Sounds like a keeper. It's good to see not everyone has been brainwashed into multi-cult Britain.

Reply 8

FloppyBunny789

Blame the grandparents....

Reply 9

Turbocheese

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rKETOKAO0A

Reply 10

slylee

So she has free will, she doesnt do whats forced down her throat (LOVE ALL COLOURS) its totally her choice, nothing wrong with black people, but its her choice, if shes great in all other respects then shut up and be with her.

Reply 11

knitpixie

If she really did say those things whilst you were out, I don't really think you can justify calling her 'kind' or 'considerate'!

Reply 12

dmz

get a black guy to butt**** her.

I'm free on Wednesday's and Saturday's.

Reply 13

OmicronPersei8

Note to self: Don't go to Devon.

Reply 14

When will I know?

I think it's normal to feel like that.

People who are racist just seem less attractive and narrow minded...and you start to think less of them.

Reply 15

S_123

Racism is a complete dealbreaker for me. Couldn't be with a racist person. Dump her and make sure she knows why.

Reply 16

tleave2000

If all the good things about her you say are true then you'd be nuts to dump her.

If you love her, then accept her for who she is.

Reply 17

I'm_Unsafe.

I don't think I could ever enter a serious relationship with a racist (not knowing they were one, anyway). I have black/mixed race friends and acquaintances. Sure, there might not be many other races in Devon, but what happens if you two go on holiday somewhere? If you want to move to London/another big city to work? If you meet people you like but can't bring them home/out with your girlfriend because of her attitude?
I dunno man, it just limits you.