The Student Room Group

Maths Jokes?

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Reply 20
Original post by HugoDuchovny
If i were a function you would be my asymptote - i always tend towards you.


Don't asymptotes get closer together but never touch? :smile:
Original post by whatacrapname
Did you hear the one about the mathematician who had diarrhoea?
They worked it out with a pencil.


i swear the joke its meant to be constipation, my dad used to tell that joke, makes more sense:tongue:
this girl in my maths class winked at me

i think its a sine :wink:
Reply 24
Q: How are math and sex the same?
A: I don't get either one.
Reply 25
Original post by miike1234
Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet.

There's a hope for them yet - in non-Euclidean space!
Reply 26
Original post by whatacrapname
Did you hear the one about the mathematician who had diarrhoea?
They worked it out with a pencil.


I think you mean the constipated mathematician
Original post by ak137
Maths puns. Its the first sine of maddness! :biggrin:


no this is sparta
Reply 28
Why was the number mad at his wife?
Because she was being irrational.

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Reply 29
Where do 3, 9 and 27 go when they're feeling unwell?

The GP.
Reply 30
A mathematician organizes a lottery in which the prize is an infinite amount of money. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."
Original post by miike1234
Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet.


Haha, my favourite so far!

From lukesurl.com:


(I love that one ^)
Reply 32
Q. How do you teach a blond math?
A. Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.
old school joke:
why is 6 scared of 7, because 7 8 9.
Reply 34
A graduate student of mathematics who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. "Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know."It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!'"

One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."

"Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in girls clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"
Reply 35
What's a Muon?...The particle cows are made up of
Reply 36
[Sickipedia one]

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't. Numbers aren't sentient and therefore are incapable of feeling fear.
Reply 37
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Reply 38
Original post by Josh_Dey
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].


I don't get it. :colondollar: Care to explain?
Reply 39
Original post by Zuzuzu
I don't get it. :colondollar: Care to explain?


Math Problems? <--- do you have any maths problems?

Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x] <--- impossibley hard equation for them to solve the next set of numbers in the phone number.

Cliche? :wink:

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