Can we get some sort of nerdy maths/science joke thread going?

Reply 180

Mono

I'd tell a joke about CFCs but it would ruin the atmosphere :awesome:

Reply 181

cz100

14

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!

Reply 182

LtCommanderData

13

"Hey, can I use your quantum computer to factorise some numbers?"

"Shor!"

Works better spoken.

Reply 183

Perpetuallity

10

Why isn't a spherical electromagnetic wavefront, that has been expanding for

5.4\times10^{-44}s

very clever?

It's a thick as two short plancks. :^_^:

Reply 184

xChrista

Made this up the other day.
My name's Christa (it's relevant so bear with me here) :

If i were any part of the mitochondrion, i'd be Crista. I used the "H" in oxidative phosphorylation.

Ok... i'll just go and hide in shame...

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 185

Domeface

9

A physicist, and engineer and a mathematician are asked by a farmer to contain his flock of sheep with the minimum amount of fencing possible.
The physicist goes first and reasons that a circle will provide the least wasted space, and so quickly builds a circle of fencing around the sheep.
The engineer watches this and sees a way to improve it; on his turn he builds another circle but contracts to reduce open space within.
On his turn, the mathematician takes three fencing sections and uses them to surround himself with a small triangle, then says, 'I declare myself to be on the outside!'

Reply 186

zigzog7

16

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons.
Civil engineers build targets.

Reply 187

cybersmile

Let's integrate so I can be the area beneath your curves.

Do you like Times tables?
Yes!
Then jump up on the table and lets Multiply!

A farmer notices his chickens are getting sick, he calls in a physicist to help him. The physicist takes a good look at the chickens and does some calculations, he suddenly stops and says "Ive got it, but it would only work if the chickens were spherical and in a vacuum."

A man walks into a bar...
Ouch!
A physicist tunnels through a bar by walking into it an infinite number of times.
Ouch*(∞-1)

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 188

bordercollies10

Alcohol and Calculus do not mix. Don't drink & derive.

There's a big calculus party, and all the functions are invited. ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend ex sulking in a corner.
ln(x): "What's wrong ex?"
ex: "I'm so lonely!"
ln(x): "Well, you should go integrate yourself into the crowd!"
ex looks up and cries, "It won't make a difference!"

What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)...?
A natural log cabin!

Reply 189

skotch

16

Hmmm... Pavlov, Pavlov, Pavlov

That name rings a bell.

:awesome:

Reply 190

skotch

16

Quite a common one:

I have CDO, it's just like OCD except the letters are in alphabetical order... like they're supposed to be.

Reply 191

DawnAR

The mathematician worked at home - he only functioned in his domain.

And there's always the insult which is thrown around in my maths class room "You're a TANGENT! (because you're not normal) :biggrin:

Where did 3, 9 and 27 go to when they were sick? A G.P.

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Original post by bordercollies10

Alcohol and Calculus do not mix. Don't drink & derive.

There's a big calculus party, and all the functions are invited. ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend ex sulking in a corner.
ln(x): "What's wrong ex?"
ex: "I'm so lonely!"
ln(x): "Well, you should go integrate yourself into the crowd!"
ex looks up and cries, "It won't make a difference!"

What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)...?
A natural log cabin!

You forgot to add the c, its a houseboat

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is extroverted?
A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes instead of at his.

I like this thread! :smile:

Reply 196

Tomatochuckers

18

Original post by tehforum

Why didn't I have any mince pies after my christmas dinner?

Because

\sqrt \dfrac{-1}{64}

Yeah I get it mans. The square root of -1 is 'i'
the division sign is 'over'
and the square root of 64 is '8'
So when u put thosed tings zusammen u get (because) 'i overate'