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So i guess i am asking for advice...

As the title says, i suppose this is me asking for advice before i go to Uni. But first i suppose a little background is necessary:

I, myself, am 18 years old now having so far led what i can only describe as a shell of a life. I grew up in a perfectly normal family, but i knew i was different. When i was young i used to listen to my parents talk about these apparent horrible people, these 'freaks of nature' and then define them with the word 'gay'. I, from then on had a word that i came to know as the definition of the feelings i had since i was about 10 years old. Growing up i was confident, and very sociable, but that changed as i started to notice i was not like others around me, my parents would talk about gay people as if they didn't deserve to be alive...for a while i believed the same. Although i cam close to doing something stupid to myself i didn't. Instead i decided to educate myself and now i am far stronger than i was before i am not ashamed of what i am and i know that i am still capable of so much. Having said that though i, as i mentioned before, have led a sheltered life. I had plenty of friends at school but i never went out, or actually left my room. I continued day in day out to go to school do my work go home and do more work. I have finished my A-levels now, applied for Medical science and will hopefully be leaving home to do that in September.

That aside the reason i worked so hard was because having been depressed for many years i found a reason to carry on and that reason was Uni. I have had no life so far and to go out with my friends, to be happy, and to love and be loved is all i have ever dreamed off. Uni provides me with the opportunity to make that dream come to fruition. But this is where i need the advice. I have really had no life experience, to suddenly immerse myself in a world where i can be free to be myself is wonderful, but at the same time nerve-wracking. The advice i ask for is, i suppose, just that, advice on life. More specifically though, (and this is why i placed this post in this forum) relationship advice seeing as i have never really been in one, and i feel that above all in my life, sad as i think it is sometimes, a relationship seems to be the thing i want most. The strange thing is i feel at the moment that actually i would want a relationship even if i knew it would end in heartbreak, simply because over the years i became so emotionally hardened, i just want to feel something, anything. Someone to melt my heart would be amazing :colondollar:

. Sex is of course something that come with that and that also makes me slightly nervous, i am fortunate to get plenty of attention on the rare occasions i have been out, but i don't think i would know what to do with it. Besides the attention is mainly from girls which is disappointing, my best friend hates the fact i get more attention from girls than he does :wink:

(he is one of the few people i have actually told i am gay). So basically any advice from anyone is welcome.

For anyone that reads all that, i thank you whole-heatedly. I guess i have just never really laid everything out like that nor ask for help.
Thanks.

Reply 1

pinkangelgirl

Hey

Sorry to hear what you seem to be going through, sounds really tough! Depression is awful and part of what you put made me want to cry.

University is an opportunity for you to be the person you want to be. It will not do it for you, but it gives you a really big opportunity.

You will find someone to love and who will love you back and Uni will provide you many options to meet people :smile: