RTFA
"If you have been resident in the United Kingdom for less than 3 years, but fall into one of the following categories then we will need to complete further checks"
That does not say "if you meet one of these requirements you're in".
I've read those threads on pprune too and know what was said. You've got your answer, you might not be happy with it, but that's the way life goes. Try the SAAF or call it quits.
The big thing you always neglect to answer is how you'd get around the fact that the RAF isn't recruiting Pilots...