Help Pulling Girls At Club/Bars...

Hi,

I'm having problems pulling girls in bars/clubs.

I went to Liverpool on Friday for a night out and I failed to pull. I must say that I'm new to it and that that was my first attempt at pulling.

I'm 25 years old and I'm not ugly. Apparently I'm good looking (according to my mum and dad. Lol, not really!) But yes, I'm apparently good looking and I also have a good physique and I'm fairly well toned, so it's not that.

I just have this massive urge to meet different women and mmm, do the rest ;-). When I was younger, I could't do all this stuff for different reasons and now feel that I need to catch up.

I can get attention from girls and I did get some on Friday. A girl chatted me up quite a lot (but she was very overweight). I spoke with a few girls and they were sort of liking the attention and getting a bit smily/warm (if you know what I mean). Some girls that is.. Maybe two or three..

A few girls basically told me to get lost by their actions/expressions. Most girls towards the end of the night wouldn't even look at me.

One girl told me that she thought I was gay and that I should try dancing with a man! Thing is, I've never danced before.

The two or three which I was talking to and seemed to like talking to me, obviously i didnt get anywhere with them. One was in a hen party, her friends left and then she got panicky and said I have to go, nice talking to you.

The other girls, well, different things happened and I guess they werent really interested in me.

Towards the end of the night, I saw men with girls they had pulled and it made me feel bad. When I woke up in my room the morning after, I felt suicidal. This has been messing with my head really bad for 2 weeks or so.

Please help.

Reply 1

Flibble22

10

If all else fails, try chloroform. They'll be falling over themselves, quite literally.

Reply 2

pinkbullets

12

Why are you so desperate to pull?

Reply 3

dgeorge

12

Original post by johnjones3210

Hi,

I'm having problems pulling girls in bars/clubs.

I went to Liverpool on Friday for a night out and I failed to pull. I must say that I'm new to it and that that was my first attempt at pulling.

I'm 25 years old and I'm not ugly. Apparently I'm good looking (according to my mum and dad. Lol, not really!) But yes, I'm apparently good looking and I also have a good physique and I'm fairly well toned, so it's not that.

I just have this massive urge to meet different women and mmm, do the rest ;-). When I was younger, I could't do all this stuff for different reasons and now feel that I need to catch up.

I can get attention from girls and I did get some on Friday. A girl chatted me up quite a lot (but she was very overweight). I spoke with a few girls and they were sort of liking the attention and getting a bit smily/warm (if you know what I mean). Some girls that is.. Maybe two or three..

A few girls basically told me to get lost by their actions/expressions. Most girls towards the end of the night wouldn't even look at me.

One girl told me that she thought I was gay and that I should try dancing with a man! Thing is, I've never danced before.

The two or three which I was talking to and seemed to like talking to me, obviously i didnt get anywhere with them. One was in a hen party, her friends left and then she got panicky and said I have to go, nice talking to you.

The other girls, well, different things happened and I guess they werent really interested in me.

Towards the end of the night, I saw men with girls they had pulled and it made me feel bad. When I woke up in my room the morning after, I felt suicidal. This has been messing with my head really bad for 2 weeks or so.

Please help.

If you felt suicidal because you couldn't "pull" a girl, then pulling girls really isn't the issue then is it? Talk to a therapist.

Reply 4

foolscap

9

Just improve your image, self confidence, social skills and put yourself out there more. Nothing else for it.

Reply 5

caseyhayes

6

You seem to have done better than many guys. Maybe just not your night.

Reply 6

Samantha:)

1

It is so obvious when someone is trying too hard to pull and a massive turn off, just be yourself!

Reply 7

tehFrance

17

Original post by johnjones3210

I'm having problems pulling girls in bars/clubs.

Because you are trying. Don't go out with the intention to pull, you do that and you will fail.

No cheesy chat up lines, dress smart-casual (at the very least), go to the gym and workout, have confidence and above all wear a watch... when you are talking to/dancing with a woman, look at your watch and if she does the same, it is a sign that she is possibly ready to leave with you or go outside for a smoke, it is hit and miss but eventually you will find a style that suits you and is not cheesy and you will pull :smile:

also never buy drinks, don't fall for that old trick.

I have come to the conclusion that looks mean **** all, I have seen fat ugly guys pull some really beautiful women in this country and it baffled me for a long time but I then came to the conclusion that looks don't mean anything and anyone can pull with confidence.

Reply 8

lisalilsmartass

12

Pulling girls in a hectic clubbing environment is a risky one tbh. My biggest piece of advice would be to be original and natural. I can tell from your post that you over think things way too much. The biggest attraction for me in a guy is someone who is sure of themselves, natural and knows what they're doing.

Reply 9

kunoichi

20

Many girls dont go out to clubs and bars to pull, they go to have fun with their mates,dance, have a drink, maybe a quick snog with someone if single.

They do not generally go to pick up boyfriends, especially not anything long term.

Reply 10

johnjones3210

OP

Ok, judging by your messages, I was doing everything right. Is it necessary to dance with them? Cuz I'm rubbish at it. I've never done it before.

The thing is though, you can't be really confident and not show that you wanna pull. I don't know how you can do that anyway.

When they were smily with me, etc, I think I should have had more balls to say something. I dunno, summut like, 'do you mind if i come with you?' as they were leaving to go to the next club. Would that work?

I don't have a problem talking, I just can't make them 'want' me.

Reply 11

johnjones3210

OP

Oh, also, I went on my own, met some guys/girls at the hotel and went out with them. Towards the end though, it was just me and another guy. He was a lot older than me. Do you think that might have made the girls a bit funny?

Is it better to go alone? I don't have many friends and the ones I have won't go out and do this sort of thing.

Reply 12

py0alb

3

Original post by johnjones3210

Oh, also, I went on my own, met some guys/girls at the hotel and went out with them. Towards the end though, it was just me and another guy. He was a lot older than me. Do you think that might have made the girls a bit funny?

Is it better to go alone? I don't have many friends and the ones I have won't go out and do this sort of thing.

Honest advice: you need to find yourself some friends before you start thinking about trying to pull. Get your priorities straight.

Reply 13

LoveIt

4

Original post by johnjones3210

Oh, also, I went on my own, met some guys/girls at the hotel and went out with them. Towards the end though, it was just me and another guy. He was a lot older than me. Do you think that might have made the girls a bit funny?

Is it better to go alone? I don't have many friends and the ones I have won't go out and do this sort of thing.

Don't go on your own as it just makes you look creepy / more obvious that you are out to pull, find some people who you can go out with and have a good time and if you are out enjoying yourself then you are more likely to have interest from girls.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by Samantha:)

It is so obvious when someone is trying too hard to pull and a massive turn off, just be yourself!

I get what you mean about guys trying to dance up girls in an obvious way. But how do you be yourself and still show interest? Guys dancing up someone will atleast normally pull someone...I used to go out just to dance with my mates and have fun but never had any luck. I tried the smiling at girls thing but its a bit tedious and they dont seem to notice anyway. Smiling too much makes you look creepy to everyone. I know that they didn't all ignore me because I fare better when I dance girls up or chat in the smoking area.

Reply 15

deadsmurfette

11

Look for a friendly drunk, at the very least you will get a snog.

Reply 16

deathhead

10

This is interesting, I very much advocate not letting the idea of needing to pull run your night, you do that and that's a hint at deeper problems that don't really have anything to do with girls. Just go out like everyone else, you don't even have to go clubbing that much, it gets boring if you do nothing but clubbing and it's the same night every night. Just go every now and again with a large group or just a couple friends, go out and meet people, boys and girls -- as boys can very often introduce you to their girl-friends. Here's a good peice of advice, go on the same night with a friend/friends who also bring their girl-friends you don't know, that way you already have kind of broken the barrier as you have like a connection to them through your mutual friend and then have an excuse to start talking/chat them up etc. DON'T JUST GRAB GIRLS FROM BEHIND ON THE DANCEFLOOR. DON'T BUY THEM A DRINK UNTIL YOU FEEL YOU HAVE A BIG CHANCE. Be genuine- for the most part. Be yourself. Sometimes it's nobodys fault and there is just no real oppurtunity, having the confidence to start dancing with a group of girls with your friends and orchestrating it so you don't look so obvious is the hardest part. The initial connection is the hardest part of it IMO.

Help Pulling Girls At Club/Bars...

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