Would you choose love or career?
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A lot of people here are talking about a career in terms of money, but any career I do I would do it for love, as opposed to the financial benefits. I've never been in a relationship, but if choosing a career I love, with the knowledge that I love members of my family and that they can provide the emotional support I need, over someone who loved me romantically but didn't want me to pursue something that I loved and gave purpose to my life (other than being a wife and mother to their kids, which obviously is lovely etc. but not what, age 19, I want to be thinking about right now!) then yeah, I'd totally go for it.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically I've put myself in a really complicated situation and I can only choose one. I used to think career was the most important, but since I've met him I've become more emotional and I don't think I'd succeed in my job anyway since I dislike the subject I'm studying. I know logically it's the best for me to pick a better career, but I just can't help putting him aside...I can't work for a few yrs away from him because this whole time at university we have been doing a long distance relationship (countries basically on the other side of the world...)
Would you choose love or career?
Would you choose love or career?
Overall I'd pick love but in your situation I'd pick career because if you and this guy are meant to be, it will be. If you both really love each other that much then you will make it work somehow. Would he move over?
Love, easily. I couldn't leave someone to work. You'd get the money and be like "wow, I replaced them with this".
At this stage in my life, I'd choose love, as I'm at the point of almost being settled in my career, so even a break from my career wouldn't do too much harm.
If I was still at university I'd choose my career, simply because I wouldn't want to be overtaken by other graduates and I also know a fellow bright promising graduate who chose love, whose position I wouldn't want to be in now.
She was in my class and came out with a 1st with the hope of pursuing a career, somehow she ended up having kids and today she has 2 girls who she finds quite a handful. She's a housewife and often finds herself bored of the home situation
. I wonder if she'd feel that way, if she'd had her career under the belt? At least she'd have another sense of purpose. When we were at uni she was the most career hungry out of all of us, it's strange the way things have turned out.
If I was still at university I'd choose my career, simply because I wouldn't want to be overtaken by other graduates and I also know a fellow bright promising graduate who chose love, whose position I wouldn't want to be in now.
She was in my class and came out with a 1st with the hope of pursuing a career, somehow she ended up having kids and today she has 2 girls who she finds quite a handful. She's a housewife and often finds herself bored of the home situation
. I wonder if she'd feel that way, if she'd had her career under the belt? At least she'd have another sense of purpose. When we were at uni she was the most career hungry out of all of us, it's strange the way things have turned out.(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Basically I've put myself in a really complicated situation and I can only choose one. I used to think career was the most important, but since I've met him I've become more emotional and I don't think I'd succeed in my job anyway since I dislike the subject I'm studying. I know logically it's the best for me to pick a better career, but I just can't help putting him aside...I can't work for a few yrs away from him because this whole time at university we have been doing a long distance relationship (countries basically on the other side of the world...)
Would you choose love or career?
Would you choose love or career?
Career, love will stick by you if it really is love no matter what. Career won't, nor will it rip your heart out and leave you.
I would say career
I came onto this discussion think love as it meant "a life without one if you pick the other" but after reading what you've said, career definitely.
You probably get butteflies and feel like he's the only guy in the world for you <3 which is so adorable! But if you choose love over career, you may regret it!
You guys have done a long distance relationship for so long and although it's probably killing you inside to be with him, you can do it again.
I say not love especially because you are unsure about his feelings towards you. This love may be temporary but a career will set you up for life and make sure that you can get somewhere.
As your lover, he should be urging you on to do what is best for you even if it means sacrificing a few years
And if it is love, then he will wait and you will work things around but don't base everything on one person when there's a possibility that he won't always be there.. Even if he says he will
Long comment but basically career. Because if it is love, it will last, it will understand and it will find a way aroind things.
As for your career, consider qualifications in something you will enjoy
You can always continue to study something else
good luck x
I came onto this discussion think love as it meant "a life without one if you pick the other" but after reading what you've said, career definitely.
You probably get butteflies and feel like he's the only guy in the world for you <3 which is so adorable! But if you choose love over career, you may regret it!
You guys have done a long distance relationship for so long and although it's probably killing you inside to be with him, you can do it again.
I say not love especially because you are unsure about his feelings towards you. This love may be temporary but a career will set you up for life and make sure that you can get somewhere.
As your lover, he should be urging you on to do what is best for you even if it means sacrificing a few years
And if it is love, then he will wait and you will work things around but don't base everything on one person when there's a possibility that he won't always be there.. Even if he says he will
Long comment but basically career. Because if it is love, it will last, it will understand and it will find a way aroind things.
As for your career, consider qualifications in something you will enjoyYou can always continue to study something else
good luck x(edited 11 years ago)
I have no idea. I guess I'd have to be in the situation to decide but I fear giving up on certain goals for love.
Original post by snozzle
I'd pick love. Career is overrated. Most of you young peeps are choosing career with no clue what it actually 'is'. It's just some notion you have been semi-indoctrinated to think you want.
Ever since the beginning of currency, people have wanted jobs, because they would die/starve/become ill without one. Love is relatively recent in terms of being considered necessary in the form which it currently exists. Modern times, with their romantic notions presented in films and books and the society which has allowed people to pursue it, have created the current embodiment of love. I wouldn't call it indoctrination, but if 400 years ago, you'd told your parents you wanted to give up work and fall in love, they would've laughed and you would've died.
Original post by snozzle
If anything, career is what we've been made to believe we want and need. At least there's some hope of leading a good life with a love. You can't survive on career alone, but you can on a love.
Make any sense.
Have you tried living a life with nothing but a job?
Make any sense.
Have you tried living a life with nothing but a job?
That makes no sense. This guy is her first boyfriend, it's entirely possible that she'll meet someone else. Without a job, you don't have money and you either die or live off the state, depending on the country. Without your first boyfriend, you'll feel sad for a little bit, and eventually met someone even better.
Original post by snozzle
...I'm not sure what you think 'career' is exactly. Not everyone with a job is a Doctor.
A job is just something you do, like a cleaner. A career is something you work towards and climb up the ladder in.
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(edited 11 years ago)
If he doesn't like working, why isn't he moving in with you? If he loves you, and he's the one with less to lose, why isn't he moving with you to make your life easier?
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Original post by Anonymous
Yes, he does haha. Well...not like he could have or would have wanted to do something else I think.
Would your Dad be ok with you moving? You wouldn't be disowned or anything?
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Honestly a career is a more significant goal to work towards if you're single. Love doesn't come around just like that it takes a while to find. A career gives you the building blocks for your life and the future. Whether that be to aim for a goal like traveling to that place you always wanted to go or becoming self sufficient, buying your own house, living and not being a burden on your family. When you've reached that level you're more in control of your life and have accomplished something. People can do this with or without love. Would I try to move closer to someone I loved if it meant sacrificing my career? Unless there is an option where my career could fit in somewhere then I probably wouldn't. Like some people have said careers don't get up one day and tell you they don't love you and leave.
Career.
Love doesn't come around often.
Career chances come around aplenty.
I can understand why people would say career mind you. But to me relationships are massively underrated, especially ones where you genuinely love your other half. The amount of stability that can be found, even in the most unstable relationships - the amount of confidence and reliance you have placed in another person isn't something to take lightly, and when it's gone, you might just lose everything anyway, including career.
Like I attempted to explain to my girlfriend last night. I'd rather spit shine investment bankers shoes in the city and be in true love with her, than be in a brilliant job and be alone.
How many songs do you hear about people wishing they put their job first? Not many.
How many songs do you hear about peoples regret when they let loves grasp loosen? Far too many.
But then again, I'm a love drunk, soppy ****. So my opinion isn't valid.
Love doesn't come around often.
Career chances come around aplenty.
I can understand why people would say career mind you. But to me relationships are massively underrated, especially ones where you genuinely love your other half. The amount of stability that can be found, even in the most unstable relationships - the amount of confidence and reliance you have placed in another person isn't something to take lightly, and when it's gone, you might just lose everything anyway, including career.
Like I attempted to explain to my girlfriend last night. I'd rather spit shine investment bankers shoes in the city and be in true love with her, than be in a brilliant job and be alone.
How many songs do you hear about people wishing they put their job first? Not many.
How many songs do you hear about peoples regret when they let loves grasp loosen? Far too many.
But then again, I'm a love drunk, soppy ****. So my opinion isn't valid.
(edited 11 years ago)
I'd choose career. Love is never a guarantee because you can't control it completely: there's another person involved with their own free will. Career on the other hand is something you could also fall back on after you finish uni. You can choose love all you like, but if your partner with their free will decides they want to leave, you'll always have your career to fall back on.
Original post by Sheldor
A job is just something you do, like a cleaner. A career is something you work towards and climb up the ladder in.
Sorry I thought you were talking about 'jobs' in the previous paragraph? Now it's some 'holy cause' or 'pilgrimage' one it on its it, called 'career'. Funny that as the whole notion of it comes from Protestantism really. Before that work was drudgery then became a kind of 'asceticism in the world' and way to reduce 'salvation anxiety' - work become the highest 'cause' in the life of a person....now everyone accepts that as a given especially young students who are constantly socialised into the idea that 'career' is some glittery journey one goes on to where? though?
Work was just a means to an end 400 years ago (your number), in fact in the pre-modern period there wasn't really work per se, there was just a life, in an ascripted society work wasn't separated out as some discrete sphere of life.
definitely career
Original post by Anonymous
Basically I've put myself in a really complicated situation and I can only choose one. I used to think career was the most important, but since I've met him I've become more emotional and I don't think I'd succeed in my job anyway since I dislike the subject I'm studying. I know logically it's the best for me to pick a better career, but I just can't help putting him aside...I can't work for a few yrs away from him because this whole time at university we have been doing a long distance relationship (countries basically on the other side of the world...)
Would you choose love or career?
Would you choose love or career?
I chose career and moved the to the other side of the globe. Me and the mrs through some miracle have worked trough it and are getting married next year. If it's love then moving isnt necesarily the end of it.. I know I would have hated myself daily for not taking the opportunity.
Original post by snozzle
...I'm not sure what you think 'career' is exactly. Not everyone with a job is a Doctor.
The type of job has nothing to do with it. The fact remains that a good job and a career is something you work towards yourself: if you put in the effort then you are likely to be rewarded (I'm well aware that this isn't always the case, but it works as a general rule).
A relationship, however, is something which requires input from both parties: you can put as much effort as you like into making the relationship work, but if the other person simply decides that their heart isn't in it, there is nothing you can do to fix it. Thus relying directly on other people for one's happiness and prosperity is an inherently risky path to take.
Original post by snozzle
Sorry I thought you were talking about 'jobs' in the previous paragraph? Now it's some 'holy cause' or 'pilgrimage' one it on its it, called 'career'. Funny that as the whole notion of it comes from Protestantism really. Before that work was drudgery then became a kind of 'asceticism in the world' and way to reduce 'salvation anxiety' - work become the highest 'cause' in the life of a person....now everyone accepts that as a given especially young students who are constantly socialised into the idea that 'career' is some glittery journey one goes on to where? though?
Work was just a means to an end 400 years ago (your number), in fact in the pre-modern period there wasn't really work per se, there was just a life, in an ascripted society work wasn't separated out as some discrete sphere of life.
Work was just a means to an end 400 years ago (your number), in fact in the pre-modern period there wasn't really work per se, there was just a life, in an ascripted society work wasn't separated out as some discrete sphere of life.
I was talking about jobs because you were.
Why the tangent?
It's not a holy cause, I never said that, and I think you have a thing for sensationalism.
I don't see work being that separate from life in the present day.
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