Really need advice - friend and make-believe facebook friends? Unnerving (read)
Hi. I really need to talk about this. There is literally nobody I can discuss this with because (i) it sounds crazy and (ii) people would think it's extremely mean of me to think such things. I'm driving myself crazy thinking I am just uber-paranoid or a conspriacy theorist. Anyway...
I have a close friend I went to university with but they no longer live here (doing post grad somewhere else). We're not super best friends, but we hung out at university. But there is something I can't quite put my finger on that is just a bit odd and unnerving about this person, especially their online activity and is something I've only started to notice recently.
I'd originally picked up on a few inconsistencies when my friend said certain things early on in our friendship. Just little things, but they were enough for me to take what they said with a pinch of salt. For example, they lied about attending a funeral, which I thought was very strange (I caught them out on this because they were unable to say where it had taken place and got town totally wrong). So yeh, that was very odd, but I didn't question it too much.
Since they moved abroad, they have accumulated quite a few friends in supposedly very high places in terms of their careers, while they are just a student still. These people constantly post on this person's facebook wall with 'funny' stories, 'banter' and demands to see this person, but when you take a closer look, their profiles are rather blank, you can't see their friends lists, their photos don't look like 'real' people (as in they look like they could be anyone, staged almost). I dunno, I just have this really odd gut feeling that all is not as it seems and, in a nutshell, these 'people' are fake profiles. Yes, they could just have high privacy settings, but like I said, there is this underlying feeling I have that they are not real.
What is really worrying though is some of these people have been died. I remember my friend telling me that someone close to them had died in horrific circumstances a year ago, and they had a Facebook profile that my friend had tagged. Yet nobody else seemed to know this person and had never met them.
Then there was my friend's 'significant other.' They were dating all the way throughout university, yet this person strangely did not have Facebook and none of my friend's closest friends or family had ever met this lover over the course of two years... There were all sorts of stories I'd be told about their relationship but no evidence that there ever was one. I dunno, again I had this very primal instinct that it was a fabricated lie, and there was no lover at all.
Again, a couple of months ago, there was lots of banter on their facebook wall between my friend and one of their 'new friends' abroad. One day, according to Facebook, apparently this person had died in an accident - yet the profile was still accessible. Now, again, I want to be very careful - I don't want to say my friend 'created' this person to begin with - but the manner of it was just so strange - the way my friend posted about their death - it didn't sound like they were shocked at all. You know, if you lose someone suddenly (and I have - a best friend) well, firstly, you don't post about it on FB, but if you do, you'd probably be in a state of shock. It wouldn't be a nonchalent status TAGGING the person in it?
What's even more worrying is that a quick google search of these people's names produces absolutely nothing at all. Doesn't that seem strange? That such young people died in very horrific circumstances and there's not even a news story about it? When I started to get really freaked out by all this was when I even (I'm ashamed to say, but what can I say, I was just too suspicious for my own good) did a 192.com search for all these characters in my friend's life - and no records were found at all.
Am I going crazy? Am I just too paranoid? Like I said, I really just wanted to post this because I can't discuss it with anyone. But since I started getting suspicious of these people in their life, and suddenly one day questioning whether they are even real, I got really freaked out given the dramatic nature of what has happened to some of them..I feel quite upset and shocked at myself - at myself because I have never ever in my life questioned such basic things of one of my friends. I feel very disloyal and mean thinking how I do, but it's just how I feel. I've never felt like everything is a lie before, and it's very unnerving.
I have a close friend I went to university with but they no longer live here (doing post grad somewhere else). We're not super best friends, but we hung out at university. But there is something I can't quite put my finger on that is just a bit odd and unnerving about this person, especially their online activity and is something I've only started to notice recently.
I'd originally picked up on a few inconsistencies when my friend said certain things early on in our friendship. Just little things, but they were enough for me to take what they said with a pinch of salt. For example, they lied about attending a funeral, which I thought was very strange (I caught them out on this because they were unable to say where it had taken place and got town totally wrong). So yeh, that was very odd, but I didn't question it too much.
Since they moved abroad, they have accumulated quite a few friends in supposedly very high places in terms of their careers, while they are just a student still. These people constantly post on this person's facebook wall with 'funny' stories, 'banter' and demands to see this person, but when you take a closer look, their profiles are rather blank, you can't see their friends lists, their photos don't look like 'real' people (as in they look like they could be anyone, staged almost). I dunno, I just have this really odd gut feeling that all is not as it seems and, in a nutshell, these 'people' are fake profiles. Yes, they could just have high privacy settings, but like I said, there is this underlying feeling I have that they are not real.
What is really worrying though is some of these people have been died. I remember my friend telling me that someone close to them had died in horrific circumstances a year ago, and they had a Facebook profile that my friend had tagged. Yet nobody else seemed to know this person and had never met them.
Then there was my friend's 'significant other.' They were dating all the way throughout university, yet this person strangely did not have Facebook and none of my friend's closest friends or family had ever met this lover over the course of two years... There were all sorts of stories I'd be told about their relationship but no evidence that there ever was one. I dunno, again I had this very primal instinct that it was a fabricated lie, and there was no lover at all.
Again, a couple of months ago, there was lots of banter on their facebook wall between my friend and one of their 'new friends' abroad. One day, according to Facebook, apparently this person had died in an accident - yet the profile was still accessible. Now, again, I want to be very careful - I don't want to say my friend 'created' this person to begin with - but the manner of it was just so strange - the way my friend posted about their death - it didn't sound like they were shocked at all. You know, if you lose someone suddenly (and I have - a best friend) well, firstly, you don't post about it on FB, but if you do, you'd probably be in a state of shock. It wouldn't be a nonchalent status TAGGING the person in it?
What's even more worrying is that a quick google search of these people's names produces absolutely nothing at all. Doesn't that seem strange? That such young people died in very horrific circumstances and there's not even a news story about it? When I started to get really freaked out by all this was when I even (I'm ashamed to say, but what can I say, I was just too suspicious for my own good) did a 192.com search for all these characters in my friend's life - and no records were found at all.
Am I going crazy? Am I just too paranoid? Like I said, I really just wanted to post this because I can't discuss it with anyone. But since I started getting suspicious of these people in their life, and suddenly one day questioning whether they are even real, I got really freaked out given the dramatic nature of what has happened to some of them..I feel quite upset and shocked at myself - at myself because I have never ever in my life questioned such basic things of one of my friends. I feel very disloyal and mean thinking how I do, but it's just how I feel. I've never felt like everything is a lie before, and it's very unnerving.
This sounds like the start of some kind of horror movie. You've given me the heebeejeebees 
You could make some kind of 'joke' to your friend about 'imaginary friends' or 'fake facebook profiles' or something and see how they react? Or you could casually ask how your friend met a certain person?
It does sound a bit odd but then again, you might be reading too far into it. Either way, don't feel disloyal or mean; the internet has fooled more people then you can imagine - you can never ever be too careful and it's a good thing that you're aware of how sites like Facebook can present false personnas of people. If you do feel unsafe or uncomfortable then you can block your friend or remove them from your facebook- it's only a social networking site, not the end of the world.
If you find out that your friend *is* creating fake profiles then it's a weird, desperate cry for attention. Don't get freaked out about it, it's not your problem. If they are real people then it's a good thing that you were aware of the weirdness and dangers of sites like facebook enough to research it and want to find out more.
Hope you get to the bottom of this
You could make some kind of 'joke' to your friend about 'imaginary friends' or 'fake facebook profiles' or something and see how they react? Or you could casually ask how your friend met a certain person?
It does sound a bit odd but then again, you might be reading too far into it. Either way, don't feel disloyal or mean; the internet has fooled more people then you can imagine - you can never ever be too careful and it's a good thing that you're aware of how sites like Facebook can present false personnas of people. If you do feel unsafe or uncomfortable then you can block your friend or remove them from your facebook- it's only a social networking site, not the end of the world.
If you find out that your friend *is* creating fake profiles then it's a weird, desperate cry for attention. Don't get freaked out about it, it's not your problem. If they are real people then it's a good thing that you were aware of the weirdness and dangers of sites like facebook enough to research it and want to find out more.
Hope you get to the bottom of this
It sounds off-the-wall insane. He isn't Korean by any chance?
Also you probably could talk to a mutual friend about this, ask if they know any of the people he claims to be spending his life with. If you ask several and none of them have any idea you could maybe introduce the idea that those people are an outright fabrication.
Also you probably could talk to a mutual friend about this, ask if they know any of the people he claims to be spending his life with. If you ask several and none of them have any idea you could maybe introduce the idea that those people are an outright fabrication.
Original post by Nick100
It sounds off-the-wall insane. He isn't Korean by any chance?
Also you probably could talk to a mutual friend about this, ask if they know any of the people he claims to be spending his life with. If you ask several and none of them have any idea you could maybe introduce the idea that those people are an outright fabrication.
Also you probably could talk to a mutual friend about this, ask if they know any of the people he claims to be spending his life with. If you ask several and none of them have any idea you could maybe introduce the idea that those people are an outright fabrication.
Thanks for the reply.
I actually started doing that when my friend started going on and on about the trials and tribulations of their relationship with X. I started casually asking mutual friends 'oh so have you met X? I've not met X myself.." and the answer was always 'no.'
But you can't really do that with people who have died. It's just too difficult to do.
Would you agree though that the fact that these people have no trace online (no news stories or anything - and one of them was killed by a bus abroad apparently) is suspicious? I suppose there could be a simple explanation that these people are using pseudonyms online, but that's just as weird really..
There are just things that make me regroup though - like how could anyone manage so many different facebook accounts? Why would they do this? Are they afraid of looking friendless? I just don't really understand how they met these people either. It seriously creeps me out and as much of a good friend they are, I just think they are a pathological liar on so many different levels.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the reply.
I actually started doing that when my friend started going on and on about the trials and tribulations of their relationship with X. I started casually asking mutual friends 'oh so have you met X? I've not met X myself.." and the answer was always 'no.'
But you can't really do that with people who have died. It's just too difficult to do.
Would you agree though that the fact that these people have no trace online (no news stories or anything - and one of them was killed by a bus abroad apparently) is suspicious? I suppose there could be a simple explanation that these people are using pseudonyms online, but that's just as weird really..
There are just things that make me regroup though - like how could anyone manage so many different facebook accounts? Why would they do this? Are they afraid of looking friendless? I just don't really understand how they met these people either. It seriously creeps me out and as much of a good friend they are, I just think they are a pathological liar on so many different levels.
I actually started doing that when my friend started going on and on about the trials and tribulations of their relationship with X. I started casually asking mutual friends 'oh so have you met X? I've not met X myself.." and the answer was always 'no.'
But you can't really do that with people who have died. It's just too difficult to do.
Would you agree though that the fact that these people have no trace online (no news stories or anything - and one of them was killed by a bus abroad apparently) is suspicious? I suppose there could be a simple explanation that these people are using pseudonyms online, but that's just as weird really..
There are just things that make me regroup though - like how could anyone manage so many different facebook accounts? Why would they do this? Are they afraid of looking friendless? I just don't really understand how they met these people either. It seriously creeps me out and as much of a good friend they are, I just think they are a pathological liar on so many different levels.
It is incredibly bizarre and it sounds like the profiles may very well be fake. I would stop digging around though including asking other people because this is potential psycho material here
. Just keep your distance if your gut feeling is that strong - like you said, you were never best friends anyway and they no longer live in the country.Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the reply.
I actually started doing that when my friend started going on and on about the trials and tribulations of their relationship with X. I started casually asking mutual friends 'oh so have you met X? I've not met X myself.." and the answer was always 'no.'
But you can't really do that with people who have died. It's just too difficult to do.
Would you agree though that the fact that these people have no trace online (no news stories or anything - and one of them was killed by a bus abroad apparently) is suspicious? I suppose there could be a simple explanation that these people are using pseudonyms online, but that's just as weird really..
There are just things that make me regroup though - like how could anyone manage so many different facebook accounts? Why would they do this? Are they afraid of looking friendless? I just don't really understand how they met these people either. It seriously creeps me out and as much of a good friend they are, I just think they are a pathological liar on so many different levels.
I actually started doing that when my friend started going on and on about the trials and tribulations of their relationship with X. I started casually asking mutual friends 'oh so have you met X? I've not met X myself.." and the answer was always 'no.'
But you can't really do that with people who have died. It's just too difficult to do.
Would you agree though that the fact that these people have no trace online (no news stories or anything - and one of them was killed by a bus abroad apparently) is suspicious? I suppose there could be a simple explanation that these people are using pseudonyms online, but that's just as weird really..
There are just things that make me regroup though - like how could anyone manage so many different facebook accounts? Why would they do this? Are they afraid of looking friendless? I just don't really understand how they met these people either. It seriously creeps me out and as much of a good friend they are, I just think they are a pathological liar on so many different levels.
What if you ask about visiting him abroad or meeting one of these mysterious friends? Have you tried to contact any of them directly?
And yes the lack of any trace online is somewhat suspicious - particularly for the people who are supposed to be very successful. Do any of these friends appear real?
I don't think I am going to be able to sleep tonight, this is really spooky!
OP, I'd watch out for more strange signs from your friend. I wouldn't be insensitive and directly ask her as she may have a problem.
Sorry I'm not much help. All the best.
OP, I'd watch out for more strange signs from your friend. I wouldn't be insensitive and directly ask her as she may have a problem.
Sorry I'm not much help. All the best.
This reminded me of the movie Catfish.
I don't think this is creepy or scary, tbh. Sounds like your friend is just rather a sad person, who makes up exciting and important friends to gain popularity and respect, and then kills some of them off - presumably for the attention. The more extreme the death, the more attention they think they'll get, the more interesting they think they'll seem.
The cool thing is that the OP seems nearly as weird as the person they're describing.
MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN (though one will end up with an axe protruding from their back).
Also...
okey den.
How do you know how any other person would react in this kind of situation?
One of my close friends died last October and my reaction (as it was when another friend died when I was about 12) was essentially 'okay, they're dead, that's that'.
I'm sure some people would love to claim that that was 'shock', and that it'll all come back to haunt me when I'm older but I really don't think so.
MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN (though one will end up with an axe protruding from their back).
Also...
Original post by Anonymous
You know, if you lose someone suddenly (and I have - a best friend) well, firstly, you don't post about it on FB, but if you do, you'd probably be in a state of shock. It wouldn't be a nonchalent status TAGGING the person in it?
okey den.
How do you know how any other person would react in this kind of situation?
One of my close friends died last October and my reaction (as it was when another friend died when I was about 12) was essentially 'okay, they're dead, that's that'.
I'm sure some people would love to claim that that was 'shock', and that it'll all come back to haunt me when I'm older but I really don't think so.
(edited 11 years ago)
He/she sounds harmless to be honest, they're probably just a bit of an attention seeker/compulsive liar. If you're really paranoid about it, just keep your distance. I mean, he/she lives abroad now so you don't really have to get involved in their lives. If they want to invent fake people just to make themselves look more popular, leave them to it.
1) Make a fake account
2) add your friend's fake friends
3)Send them each the exact same message
4) If they are all fake and controlled by the same person then each reply will be pretty much the same.
ALTERNATIVELY
1) Make a fake attractive female account.
2) Add all your friend's fake friends. make sure to add an equal number of males and females for later comparison.
3) If only guys accept but hardly any girls accept - real accounts
If both the girls and the guys accept equally - fake accounts
If neither the guys or the girls accept - fake accounts
If only girls accept but no guys accept - your friend has cottoned on to your plan and is now toying with you before they kill you to silence you........
2) add your friend's fake friends
3)Send them each the exact same message
4) If they are all fake and controlled by the same person then each reply will be pretty much the same.
ALTERNATIVELY
1) Make a fake attractive female account.
2) Add all your friend's fake friends. make sure to add an equal number of males and females for later comparison.
3) If only guys accept but hardly any girls accept - real accounts
If both the girls and the guys accept equally - fake accounts
If neither the guys or the girls accept - fake accounts
If only girls accept but no guys accept - your friend has cottoned on to your plan and is now toying with you before they kill you to silence you........
I actually watched that show. The thing is, in her case, she actually had an interest/goal for committing the crimes she committed - albeit a very deceptive but nonetheless sexual goal.
I don't know what my friend's interest/goal is..
Yeah that's weird, sounds like your friend is a bit of a fantasist.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- tutoring
- University of Reading Accommodation
- I can’t make friends at university
- No friends first term in uni
- boredom at university
- Best Frapes :)
- student life and makeing friends
- Can’t find anyone doing my course
- Do I need social media at uni?
- Loneliness at uni
- Friendships with ex-teachers
- Making friends
- Have not made any close friends at university
- I found out my best friend is still friends with people who turned against me.
- finding people before going to uni
- What advice would you give a first year student starting uni?
- Uni life
- Moving out for 2nd year after commuting
- He created a Facebook account for me?
- Popular at uni, but no friends at home.
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
