Would you send you children to an independent school if you could afford it
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Original post by Krish4791
I would just like to say thank you for expressing exactly what I was going to say! This private school vs state education debate has been raging on for such a long time, and I'm glad someone has stepped up and provided the 'voice of reason' (I suppose it could be called that).
No worries. I don't think it's fair for people to pass judgement if they haven't experienced both sides.
Original post by JamesTheCool
Haha I can relate to that! I went to a state school and I had never made anyone privately educated before. I'm now at a Russell Group uni, and everyone in my flat last term had been privately educated. To be fair I did apply for the most luxurious halls, which turned out to be a very big mistake.
I couldn't fit in or relate to any of them! They were so intimidating and uncomfortable to live around. Group conversations involved everyone talking in depth about academic topics that were completely foreign to me, whilst I sat in silence feeling like an absolute philistine. I remember thinking 'my God, these people are so elite. Even more elite than the elite people from my school! It's like they're from another world. Have I come to the wrong uni or something?' Then I later discovered that they all went to private schools - very expensive ones. It wasn't their fault they were like that...
After that awful experience I now bitterly resent private education! All it does is pave the way for the undeserving thick and average to enter decent universities, whilst making people who actually are clever a little too clever.
I couldn't fit in or relate to any of them! They were so intimidating and uncomfortable to live around. Group conversations involved everyone talking in depth about academic topics that were completely foreign to me, whilst I sat in silence feeling like an absolute philistine. I remember thinking 'my God, these people are so elite. Even more elite than the elite people from my school! It's like they're from another world. Have I come to the wrong uni or something?' Then I later discovered that they all went to private schools - very expensive ones. It wasn't their fault they were like that...
After that awful experience I now bitterly resent private education! All it does is pave the way for the undeserving thick and average to enter decent universities, whilst making people who actually are clever a little too clever.
Haha! My housemate wasn't like that at all! She was thick as sh**, and openly admitted she only chose the degree she did because she thought she wasn't smart enough to take anything else!
She was such a whiny spoilt brat, with such a superiority complex and a bad attitude!
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No.
Partly because I know lots of people, including those providing their genes (though I'd be hoping they get more of their Mum's, as she is likely to be considerably cleverer than me!), who've done well at state schools.
Also, I'd feel it was putting a lot of pressure on them, 200k+ (roughly what it costs to send your kid to a top public school, as if you're paying for it I figure you may as well buy the best) is after all a lot of money.
I don't have anything against them at all, good luck to those who send their kids there, but just wouldn't do it personally. Also, to be blunt, if I've got the money to send them private the chances are the school whose catchment I live in is likely to be decent (probably partly as I don't plan to live in the South East).
Partly because I know lots of people, including those providing their genes (though I'd be hoping they get more of their Mum's, as she is likely to be considerably cleverer than me!), who've done well at state schools.
Also, I'd feel it was putting a lot of pressure on them, 200k+ (roughly what it costs to send your kid to a top public school, as if you're paying for it I figure you may as well buy the best) is after all a lot of money.
I don't have anything against them at all, good luck to those who send their kids there, but just wouldn't do it personally. Also, to be blunt, if I've got the money to send them private the chances are the school whose catchment I live in is likely to be decent (probably partly as I don't plan to live in the South East).
(edited 11 years ago)
Certainly.
I would much rather send them to a grammar school to save on the cost but if this route was not available then i would happily pay for them to have the best education in this country.
At the very least i would consider myself a poor father if the best i could offer them was a poor comprehensive like the one i attended.
I would much rather send them to a grammar school to save on the cost but if this route was not available then i would happily pay for them to have the best education in this country.
At the very least i would consider myself a poor father if the best i could offer them was a poor comprehensive like the one i attended.
I would, but only for secondary school. I think it's a bit of a waste on money paying so much for primary education, regardless of whether you could afford it (for the record I spent I spent 14 years at a private school in Glasgow).
Original post by Tuerin
I guess all independent schools are different (in the same way all comprehensives are) because mine did not conform to your description at all. My tutor openly labelled the school a machine; spoon-feeding was rife; I even remember a weaker candidate having her history coursework practically written for her. The only culture existing there were very old buildings the vast majority of pupils didn't give a second glance at and Jack Wills. Politics and class were inextricably linked leading to 98% branding themselves Tories in hopes of appearing upper-class; little intellectual scruple here. As for 'full environment', the staff and pupils of my school freely admitted that the school existed in a 'bubble' in the local community and the world. The social side of education consisted of Rah lingo and mastering the art of social fellatio to climb the greasy popularity pole. Either you have been very lucky or you view life through rose-tinted lenses
The last line was a little unnecessary - I explicitly said I was talking about the academic side, not the social side. 'Full environment' referred to the full academic environment as opposed to self-teaching from books. The people you describe are what we call 'idiots', and whilst they are a downside to private schools, you get just as bad people in state schools, just on a different spectrum. This is a massive generalistation of course - independent schools do differ a lot, as do state schools, and I can't speak for your experience, but whilst 'rah' culture did exist at my school it didn't pervade everything and everyone. Perhaps being a girls' school made a difference?
As for the academic side, I'm talking about if my kids were academically inclined so to speak. If they weren't I'd probably send them to a state school. I know people get spoon fed at private schools, but for people who actually want to learn there's so much more opportunity. State schools tend to fail the brightest students because they don't see the point in pushing them, and there's a massive drive to make everyone mediocre (I don't mean a conspiracy or anything, but if you want specific examples I've got lots).
It's kind of a specific point, but what I'm basically saying it if I have academic kids they will be better off at a private school where they can develop their particular strengths. If they are sporty or sociable they may as well go to a good comprehensive where they can still get decent grades, and have a good social life.
Don't think I've explained this very well
Original post by Octohedral
It's kind of a specific point, but what I'm basically saying it if I have academic kids they will be better off at a private school where they can develop their particular strengths. If they are sporty or sociable they may as well go to a good comprehensive where they can still get decent grades, and have a good social life.
Don't think I've explained this very well
It's kind of a specific point, but what I'm basically saying it if I have academic kids they will be better off at a private school where they can develop their particular strengths. If they are sporty or sociable they may as well go to a good comprehensive where they can still get decent grades, and have a good social life.
Don't think I've explained this very well
My perception from talking with people who went to state school generally is that I did get more opportunities for certain sports and for travel than most of them, also for specialist learning, particularly in music at our school. I can't answer to all the points about which offers the most rounded experience, education, etc, not having been to state schools, but presumably the facts tend to speak for themselves - generally if people are willing to pay a lot for something, it's because that something is better.
Original post by Sheldor
I don't see anything wrong with enjoying academic conversation. I go to a private school where most people don't enjoy discussing academia, which is a shame for me since I do. It's one of the reasons I look forward to uni, meeting people with just as much passion for their subject as me who are willing to discuss it. It's more likely that they are similar, seeing as like at any secondary school in the UK, you'll only learn complex academic theories by studying them in your own time, just like going to a state comp doesn't gaurentee you'll leave with an exhaustive knowledge of football stats.
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I do too, just not when it's about Latin...
Even if I could afford it, I wouldn't pay for my children to go to private school. If they can pass the exams, then sure, they've paved their own way, but I'm not going to give them a better chance in life just because I have money.
I must admit there are a lot of awful state schools in this bloody country. Just try your absolute best to find a nice one. Takes effort I know, but it's much better than spending £200,000 on your retarded offspring.
Original post by katyness
I'm so jealous of those who do go. Jealous to the core - they have always been the ones to get the best grades.
Not really, Oxford is full of state school educated people with stellar grades - they have outdone loads of private school students.
Original post by JamesTheCool
I do too, just not when it's about Latin...
That's just personal preferences then! Nothing wrong with it. I'd be.equally bored if everyone was talking about TOWIE all the time, but I wouldn't hate a system for it.
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It depends on the quality of local state schools. I had the option to go to a private school, but the local state school was just as good, and I am in a good position now. I think private schools are on a different level socially though.
I wish people would stop taking the moral high-ground towards parents who do choose to send their children to an independent school.
I wish people would stop taking the moral high-ground towards parents who do choose to send their children to an independent school.
I've been there, from a state school and the dynamics are so different. Like, it could be a good idea for a few years ( eg: GCSE stage) as long as they don't lose contact with what i call the real world, and have friends who don't go to private school who they see frequently. It was definetly a good investment in grades, but going to private school doesn't automatically mean they will have amazing grades or be super smart. Privates, one of the things they do differently is they try to motivate the kids alot so they learn to work in their own free time too.
Original post by igloo1
I've been there, from a state school and the dynamics are so different. Like, it could be a good idea for a few years ( eg: GCSE stage) as long as they don't lose contact with what i call the real world, and have friends who don't go to private school who they see frequently. It was definetly a good investment in grades, but going to private school doesn't automatically mean they will have amazing grades or be super smart. Privates, one of the things they do differently is they try to motivate the kids alot so they learn to work in their own free time too.
The good ones try to recruit students who have motivation and I think it's still up to you to achieve in a private school environment, but yes, they tend to apply resources and effort fairly intensively to try to bring all of the students up to standard. I do think teaching standards are high at the better independent schools compared to what may be on offer in the state sector, from what I hear.
if my kid is good enough he will do well from the worst school, otherwise I don't want to give him an unfair advantage.
Original post by Sheldor
That's just personal preferences then! Nothing wrong with it. I'd be.equally bored if everyone was talking about TOWIE all the time, but I wouldn't hate a system for it.
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It's not personal preferences. It's not exactly easy to relate to people who talk about Latin if you went to a state school where you didn't have the opportunity to study anything about it.
But that's just an example. There are many other toff topics which are just as alienating for those of us who are from planet Earth.
(edited 11 years ago)
Going to independent school is nothing to be proud of. In fact I think it's quite embarrassing. State schooled kids who make it to decent universities are the true heroes.
If I had that much money, I'd probably do a lot of things. Namely, enjoying myself before looking to have children.
If it was a toss up between giving my child private schooling or something else (say, I had a huge inheritance or had saved up plenty for my kids), I'd probably wait and spend it on something they might need in the future. For instance; tutors, driving lessons, a car or money for a nice university house. Maybe just money for them to gain life skills or to enjoy themselves and to have hobbies. If they didn't want to go to university I could help them to pay for housing if they wanted to do an apprenticeship or something.
People can clearly do well without private school. It's not like that's the only way to get into university or to have a successful career. If they needed extra help, I'd have the money to help them. But if they were getting on just fine, I might as well just use the money to support them after school.
In short: I probably wouldn't send them to private school. The money could be more useful elsewhere.
If it was a toss up between giving my child private schooling or something else (say, I had a huge inheritance or had saved up plenty for my kids), I'd probably wait and spend it on something they might need in the future. For instance; tutors, driving lessons, a car or money for a nice university house. Maybe just money for them to gain life skills or to enjoy themselves and to have hobbies. If they didn't want to go to university I could help them to pay for housing if they wanted to do an apprenticeship or something.
People can clearly do well without private school. It's not like that's the only way to get into university or to have a successful career. If they needed extra help, I'd have the money to help them. But if they were getting on just fine, I might as well just use the money to support them after school.
In short: I probably wouldn't send them to private school. The money could be more useful elsewhere.
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