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16yr old with a 22yr old bf

my m8s sister who is 16 is goin out with a guy who is 22. they met on the net but he lives quite far away, she has already had 2 hv the emergency pill and honestly im concerned that she will b a teenage mum if she isnt careful. wot do u ppl think?

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Reply 1

Talya

Too big. Maybe in a few years time, but a 16 year old shouldn't be with someone that old, there's a big maturity difference. I suspect, from the fact she's already had the morning after pill, he just wanted to get into the pants of a 16 year old girl so he could tell his mates.

Reply 2

dh00001

voice your concerns to her not us. how old are you

Reply 3

twiga

Hmmm I was going out with a 23yr old when I was 16 and had to take emergency pills a couple of times because the condoms split and at that point I wasn't on the pill, and I didn't fall pregnant. Sometimes accidents do happen - it isn't always because you're careless.

I would advise her to go on the pill or take another form of contraception e.g. the Depo Prova injection if she's forgetful when it comes to pills. I hope for her sake this guy isn't only after a bit of action but she has to be careful or else she could really get hurt.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I met my ex when I was 17 and he was 23. I don't think one year would have made any difference at all.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

i was only askin 4 your opinion like most of ppl tht start a thread on here

Reply 6

filastini

I thought for a second this thread was about my friend. It makes me cringe.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

and i'm 18 btw her bf is older thn mine which makes me feel weird

Reply 8

dh00001

Anonymous

and i'm 18 btw her bf is older thn mine which makes me feel weird

well as her older sister you can tell her exactly what you think. like someone said it could be dodjy or it could be genuine, maybe she just needs warning he mite just be using her?

Reply 9

wendizzle22

I was going to say that the age gap wasn't too bad depending on maturity of the people involved.
However it seems a bit scary that they met on the internet (at 22 most guys meet loads of girls at uni and in clubs) and also it seems like she isn't being as careful and mature about it as she could be. Hopefully it's just a one off though - does he seem like a genuine guy who really likes her? If not, try and gently point out what is wrong with him.
If he refuses to meet you and the rest of her family, I'd be wary.

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

She is 16 years old. If she was 15 it would be a different story, but its not really any of your business anymore. No way would I allow my family to have intruded on my relationships at that age. And nor do I get on well enough with them to ACTUALLY INTRODUCE them to my bfs. Leave her alone. She is presumeably aware that it is a possibility that he is using her, and you are unlikely to convince her not to trust him if she has decided already/

Reply 11

Joce

my friend at 16 was in a relationship with a 23 year old and it ended up being a long lasting relationship. it depends on the person whether or not the age gap affects them or not. If your friend isnt mature then the difference in age could show. AT the end of the day though you can only advise your friend what to do otherwise she could resent you for it. You need to let her make her own decisions and/or mistakes.

Reply 12

Leigh

Talya

... he just wanted to get into the pants of a 16 year old girl so he could tell his mates.

Is it just me who doesn't understand that concept? If one of my mates told me he had a 16 year old girlfriend we'd call him a loser, and we're only 18! I don't get some guys.

As for the emergency pill, that's not necessarily fair to condemn them just for that; may have just been a splitting accident.

Reply 13

sheryl06

im 17 and im goin out wiv a 23 year old i dont fink the age gap makes any difference at all to our relationship bt saying that i had to grow up quite quick because of family situations so that may effect it, i dont know. However, I know it doesn't sound a lot but i think there is a big difference between being 16 and 17/18 (2 months!! yay!) I went out wiv a 25 year old wen i was 16, i ended it and have no idea what i was finkin apart from the fact that we had nothing in common, he was way too old. On the other hand, I have never had to use an emergancy pill, perhaps suggest for her to go on the pill? I think you should just talk 2 her about it and tell her that your concerned.

Reply 14

username47781

well 16 and 22 is a big difference in maturity her feelings could easily change, and whats alarming is the fact she has had to have the morning after pill, if her and the boy do stay together they should least be told to be careful and use more protection because otherwise she will be a teen mom.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

Like everyone has said, it depends on the level of maturity of the people involved. Personally I'm always a bit suspicious of older guys going for younger girls (a friend of mine started going out with a 45 year old when she was 16, they're still together 2 years later... but yes, it's definately a bit weird.) But, if she's safe and happy, and making her own decisions, there isn't a great deal you can do, except maybe tell her sister to instruct her to go on the pill. I can understand that you're worried, but as I've learnt from personal experience, there isn't a great deal you can do about other people's relationships, not without p*ssing them off.

Peodo

there isnt a problem with the age gap the problem is that the girl in question is taking risks where sex is concerned and it wouldnt matter if the guy she was with was her own age. unless he is putting the pressure on in which case she should get out.
age isnt the issue if both people feel the same way.

Reply 18

Talya

Anonymous

(a friend of mine started going out with a 45 year old when she was 16, they're still together 2 years later... but yes, it's definately a bit weird.)