The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II

guys im so worried and upset. My boyfriend has finally got his placement in calafornia, which means i wont be seeing him for up to 4 months at a time, and the time difference is huge (i'm in the UK- which is 8 hours ahead)

Any advice?

Hey guys,

So I've just finished my first term of uni after taking a gap year and I just wanted to know if any of you had doubts about university or your course or anything? Im studying a subject I took at school and absolutely adored. I used to work really hard for it and really dedicate myself to it but I just don't have the enthusiasm anymore. I mean I love seeing my boyfriend and I actually really enjoy my job as a waitress and I am quite enthusiastic and dedicated to both but when it comes to uni I just don't have that. And obviously being at uni makes me long distance with my man which I which wasn't the case and I don't know whether I'm just not that into it because its the reason I'm not with him or if it actually the course or university I'm not sure of. Just wondering if this is common for first year or any suggestions/thoughts?!

Thanks guys, my head is a mess right now

I just want some opinions/ advice/ something! I don't know what i want. I was in a relationship for a year with a guy in australia while i'm in scotland. He came over during my summer and it was amazing. But i am planning on attending university so i decided to end the relationship sooner rather than later. Logically i didn't think i could afford a relationship with flight fares costing that much ontop of accommodation and food etc and the emotional strain of being apart all the time.

He was meant to be coming over this Christmas which i guess is why i'm feeling so down. We broke up almost 2 and a half months ago and i'm trying to move on and focus on school work and just get on with life but its really hard. Just last week i took the photos of us off my wall but i didn't even know what to do with them. I just put them in a drawer.

We tried to talk casual after it was over but that just made breaking harder. He accused me of never loving him and how he gave everything for me (always bringing up finance) so for the past month i've not texted him back. He texted Merry Christmas and i replied the same and i just keep crying while reading it now. I really do love him and i knew from the moment we met that i love him but its just really bad timing and I'm hoping fate brings us together again one day.

I've tried to move on and see other people. I hang out a lot with with of my guy friends and i know he is into me but i'm not looking for a relationship. Do you think friends with benefits is reasonable? i want to move on but not get into another relationship? please reply guys and just be honest with what you think xx

Dont push away someone you love you will regret it. He was commited, you shouldnt have broke things off it makes your relationship stronger going through obstacles together n eventually u can be together n stay in the same place or something. Chase him back get him back before its too late

i understand what you are saying and thanks for replying. The course i plan to do is 4 years long. I already had to take out loans and bursary and i have 2 jobs just to do college while I'm still living at home, university is going to make me even more strapped for cash. I don't want to argue with him over money because he has easy access to money but i feel bad about not contributing. I really do love him and i do want to try but i don't think its fair to either of us to go 4 years apart and i don't see how financially i can afford to go over to see him and because of the academic years and time zones we both have its difficult to even plan lengthy stays.

I understand it makes the relationship stronger but isn't there a line of how much someones heart can take? I've said good-bye to him twice and both times i collapsed in the airport because just seeing the plane fly off tore me apart. I don't see how its fair to him, to end it and then ask to be together again... i just... theres so many feelings and thoughts and I'm trying to get through them, i don't even know what to be thinking or how to say what i mean. Everyone at some point meets their one true love. I have met mine but its bad timing. Sorry i know you are helping me out here but i just don't know.

Ok so it feels like the beginning of the end. I am flying over to see the bf tomorrow and absolutely dreading it which is a sure sign in my opinion that I should break up. I am the least confrontational person but I deserve someone with ambition who treats me extraordinary. I don't want someone who hasn't always got time for me..

It's absolutely stressing me to the hilt. I don't see the gap closing anytime soon. The timezones make things tricky too. I feel heartless and every female in his life has screwed him over but I can't deal with him.

I just want reassurance this is a sensible course of action.

guys im so worried and upset. My boyfriend has finally got his placement in calafornia, which means i wont be seeing him for up to 4 months at a time, and the time difference is huge (i'm in the UK- which is 8 hours ahead)

Any advice?

Hi there,

My boyfriend left yesterday for his 7 month gap year to India, Asia and Africa. We've been together for a little over a year now, and we have a very strong relationship. I was at uni this September and he was able to visit me a lot more than we thought, we knew we were going to stay together while he goes travelling. Now the first night has passed, I still feel like my guts have been scooped out and I feel a little sick (which I think is anxiety). I just thought I'd post here to get some support and for others to tell me how they coped. I'm looking forward to going back to uni, just so I have stuff to do. I hope it gets easier, but I feels so hard right now. Thanks

Big hugs I've found that once I'm busy the sad feelings go again and you look forward to talking to your boyfriend. Have you got any hobbies or plans with friends to keep you busy?

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here goes... I'm not with my LDR boyfriend anymore . We met online in april 2012, he lived in Canada I live in England. It was lovely at first; skyped nearly every night, texted all the time. I had met my soul mate...but then he kept lying about when he was going to come over. I got agitated. He would lie about sending things, and id see them lying about in the background when we skyped. It got to the point where I just could not take it anymore. Don't get me wrong I made my fair share of mistakes too... missing skype dates, arguing and whatnot. But then the worst thing happened.. he converted to a faith I knew my mother would never condone, and he knew if he did that we could never be together. He converted regardless, and I understood my place in his life. We ended in Dec 2012. However, we continued to pop up into eachother's life since. He'd message me telling me he missed me. A month or two later I would do the same. The reason for this post is that... a year later he now refuses to talk to me, i still love him but I respect my mother and I respect myself as i do not want the endless nights of crying again. But I still love him. I have been in a relationship since... but that ended shortly as I wanted my LDR boy back. Should I forget him or should I continue to fight for him back? please help me please

I don't know how you do it people, but props to you all. Not too long ago, I would of made immature posts just to rile you all up for giggles, now here I am in a situation where a long-distance relationship could happen at any moment, I just need to say yes to her.

I've been thinking about her non-stop, I can't get her out of my head. We've been speaking on Skype for three-four months now.