The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II
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Original post by pinkbullets
It can work if you both go into it with the mindset that you're going to put effort in. You've got to remember that university holidays are very very long (I'm home about 6 months of the year - 1 month at Christmas, 1 month at Easter, about 3 and a half months over the summer). Terms are generally about 10 or 11 weeks. He'll have holidays (he should get 28 days?) for his apprenticeship and he can use them to visit you during the week during term time (if he takes 3 days holiday a term to visit you, then he's only using 1 week of his annual holiday allowance). And you will be able to go home for a weekend once or twice a term and just see each other during the day when he's not working. It's workable.
Also with the meeting other boys thing, maybe he just needs reassurance. It's scary watching your partner go off to uni, knowing she'll meet loads of new people and may grow apart from you.
Also with the meeting other boys thing, maybe he just needs reassurance. It's scary watching your partner go off to uni, knowing she'll meet loads of new people and may grow apart from you.
Thankyou for taking the time to write that for me
I would love for him to agree to taking a dya off here and there to come and see me but I dunno if he will want to do that... I haven't spoke to him about it yet so hopefully when I do he will think it is a good idea!
I know Uni holidays are long but I am planning on hopefully making a lot of new friends and not being home half the time for personal reasons... So I don't know how long I will be home.
I have reassured him so many times that I am not going to meet anybody else and I would never cheat on him, never ever. But it doesn't seem to get through to him that I would never do that, he thinks it is 'more likely to happen' because I will be meeting 'new exciting people' and no matter how many times I have said to him that it won't happen he is convinced I am going to cheat, which is heartbreaking.
Not quite as extreme a long distance relationship as some others have, but it's still not easy nonetheless.
My Fiancee Eleanor goes to a different university than I do, I'm down the bottom end of Kent and she's up in central Essex. Not a million miles away, but too far to make regular trips.
We skype and facebook a lot, which helps, but nothing ever truly replaces the feeling of having someone in your arms. The fact that two of my housemates are currently dating (and often canoodling next door to my room) doesn't help much either :P
Thankfully when not at uni we live quite close together, so at least it's not an all-year problem.
My Fiancee Eleanor goes to a different university than I do, I'm down the bottom end of Kent and she's up in central Essex. Not a million miles away, but too far to make regular trips.
We skype and facebook a lot, which helps, but nothing ever truly replaces the feeling of having someone in your arms. The fact that two of my housemates are currently dating (and often canoodling next door to my room) doesn't help much either :P
Thankfully when not at uni we live quite close together, so at least it's not an all-year problem.
Original post by Holby_fanatic
I met my boyfriend online too. 
And we both had the exact same questions. Are you planning on seeing each other any time soon?
And we both had the exact same questions. Are you planning on seeing each other any time soon?No.. not for a while.. He doesn't live in England
Original post by Anonymous
Hve been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We have never been apart, apart from a week while I went on holiday, during the 1st year of our relationship. He lives with me and my family so we are together all the time. He is my best friend.
He has been offered a scholarship in Wyoming, USA for 2 years. He will be leaving end of this August coming and I am so confused. We can travel to one and other in holidays and if it is affordable but realistically, will this work? We both want to make a go of it but i'm so worried and upset on a daily basis
Is there anyone else who copes with a LDR from the UK with someone in the USA?
He has been offered a scholarship in Wyoming, USA for 2 years. He will be leaving end of this August coming and I am so confused. We can travel to one and other in holidays and if it is affordable but realistically, will this work? We both want to make a go of it but i'm so worried and upset on a daily basis
Is there anyone else who copes with a LDR from the UK with someone in the USA?
Not quite the same as what you have, but my boyfriend & I managed an LDR between Italy & California for 4 months last summer/autumn. It is hard, I won't lie, but it is manageable. He came to visit for a while, and yes flights etc are expensive, but if you can stay with him it helps with other costs. Otherwise, we established a routine of when we would talk to each other - usually I would wake up earlyish (think around 7am) to catch him on Skype in the late afternoon where he was, and then we would text/chat a bit over the course of the day until he went to bed; usually he would text me a goodnight message, just as he was waking up
If you really love each other, then you can make it work. It won't be easy, but I believe that for LDRs to work both of you have to be committed to the relationship, and be prepared to make time to speak to the other person, as well as acknowledge that at times you'll be lonely, frustrated etc. The fact that it's for 2 years, and thus you know when the LDR part will end, should help in overcoming doubts - you can plan for when he's back etc
I'm sorry fellow LDRers if this alienates you all 
but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.
Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry fellow LDRers if this alienates you all but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.
Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
This has been on my mind the past few weeks as well. While I haven't been with my boyfriend nearly as long as you (we're just over a year now), I still feel all gooey and gushy when I think of him (most of the time, haha) and we are quite a soppy, loved-up couple, haha. Perhaps we are still in the 'honeymoon' phase, but my boyfriend is firmly against an idea like that. He maintains, you just have, that relationships grow and change with the people in them, and there isn't one magical phase where you're all loved up, and then it all quietens down into monotony. Instead, as your love grows and changes, its outward expression might change but at heart you're still that gooey mess you were at the start, and I think I agree with him based on my own experience.
As for moving in together, it's something we're also considering towards the end of this year, and I have been thinking about how it could change our relationship. We have 'lived' together for periods of 1-2 months already, when he came on extended visits to me in America and in the UK, so I have seen 'that' side of him as well, the domestic, not-so-glamorous part. But it hasn't diminished what I feel; the fact of having him there when I wake up as possibly made me even more soppy
It is perhaps a function of the LDR, as even when we were together for these extended times, we knew it would ultimately end and we'd be separated again for a while, which perhaps made us more tolerant of each other's foibles. But I feel that, LDR or not, if the relationship is built on firm foundations of mutual affection, common interests and respect for the other person, it will survive - including the closing of the distance!Is anyone ever scared that they'll get through the distance, finally get to be together (move in together or whatever) and find that they're not the right person for you after all? Years of long-distance only to discover you're not well-suited at all.
I'm kind of reaching a crossroads in my life at the moment, lots of choices and decisions need to be made. Guess i'm just worried i pick the wrong avenue and f*** up my life
I'm kind of reaching a crossroads in my life at the moment, lots of choices and decisions need to be made. Guess i'm just worried i pick the wrong avenue and f*** up my life
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry fellow LDRers if this alienates you all but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.
Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
Me and my bf are always cheesy gooey lovey dovey (well not when we're arguing obviously) and I know this isn't just cos we're in a ldr as, for the first year of our relationship, we went to the same college and lived 30 mins apart by bus/car and we were exactly the same then too
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Original post by pinkbullets
You're not being crazy lots of people make LDRs work. You just need to look at the practicalities like how much it would cost to fly over and visit her, how often you'd be able to, the time difference etc. It will be difficult but if you're the type of person who can deal with long distance then there's no reason why you should let someone you really like go without even trying to make things work. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Original post by suzannataylor
My boyfriend and I only got together a few months before I moved abroad, although I am only here for a year. We made it work so I think you definitely can, you just need to consider how often you'll be able to see her etc. I think the thing with getting into an ldr early in a relationship is that it can make things a bit more serious than a relationship where you live in the same place because you need to think a little more long term in terms of seeing each other etc, but I know people who have done it and it's working great.
Original post by Jozka
I wouldn't say it's stupid at all, if you believe it's worthwhile. My boyfriend and I live in different countries and, whilst I miss him an awful lot, I still really enjoy spending time with him over Skype and even just Facebook chat. If you're able to fly to each other's country a few times a year to spend some time together then I'd definitely say it's worth it - as cheesy as it sounds, the feeling of seeing each other at the airport after so long apart makes everything feel worthwhile.
Thanks for your replies.
It's two weeks later, and still no progress. It's been hard trying to arrange a second date, but today I did it!
I think it's been hard as we've both been busy, but I get the impression she's still undecided. I think she likes me, but is unsure whether to commit because it will turn LDR.
I called her this morning to set something up for next Sunday or Monday as my boss said I could have it off!
She said that it was 'awesome' that I had it off and it sounds good (meeting up)- but she said do we have to decide now. I'm not sure if this was because she was in a loud room, needed to check her schedule...or if she still isn't sure. Or all three.
I suggested she'll think about it and let me know, or we can talk in a few days when we see each other.
So hopefully something is on the cards!
It did suddenly hit me today though with an overwhelming sadness, that she is leaving. I feel like time is running out. Everyone I know is talking about leaving parties and stuff...which is way off my mind and I'm trying to think of dating her. I feel if people knew, they'd think I'm crazy.
Original post by canadamoose
I've been in a strong relationship with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and a year of it has been long distance. It's been rough, seeing as we are an ocean apart and it's really difficult to see each other more often than every 4-6 months. Does anyone else get "post-visit depression"? Every time we're separated, we both wind up fairly distraught and it's really hard to go back to our regular Skype routine.
Aw yes definitely. My boyfriend went of to uni this year and I get to see him during the holidays. I think its because you get so excited to see each other, and then before you know it the visits over.
I'll tell you one thing, I cannot wait until we're finally living in the same country again!
I've recently come back from a movie night at a friend's place, and it's just the three of us. The two have been showing very obvious signs that they really like each other and recently they finally did get together. It's just cuddles and holding hands stages right now and really cute and all...
But it's so difficult watching a film now, while she's cuddling up to him.. because I haven't seen my girlfriend for a while, she's working in London and I'm in Liverpool, so it's difficult and expensive to see her. And I just miss her so freaking much, I mean, I don't even know how to describe it, but there that strange stinging feeling in your chest when you see two people cuddle and you really wish you were doing that too, I'm sure there's a word for it. But damn.. I hope this doesn't spoil movie night.. I'm worried it may though.
But it's so difficult watching a film now, while she's cuddling up to him.. because I haven't seen my girlfriend for a while, she's working in London and I'm in Liverpool, so it's difficult and expensive to see her. And I just miss her so freaking much, I mean, I don't even know how to describe it, but there that strange stinging feeling in your chest when you see two people cuddle and you really wish you were doing that too, I'm sure there's a word for it. But damn.. I hope this doesn't spoil movie night.. I'm worried it may though.
My bf hasn't told his parents we were back together yet (we split up in November and got back together in February). He told his dad last night that he was 'considering' getting back with me and he said that if we do he'll stop giving him the money he needs to live at uni. My bf says he can't lie to his parents forever and as much as he loves me uni is his priority so we may need to break up...
Wtf am I supposed to do now??!
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Wtf am I supposed to do now??!
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Hey guys,
Has anyone had to deal with leaving your partner behind to go travelling? I finish uni this year and for as long as I can remember I've planned to go and live abroad for a while after graduating. I've talked to my boyfriend about it but he wants to start his career path and isn't really interested in travelling. Anyway I plan to go to Australia to stay with my uncle for 6 months in October. My boyfriend has contemplated coming to visit in January, but it depends on his job.
I'm just really struggling to imagine being on the other side of the world for so long without him, but I know that if I didn't do this now and we broke up in the future I'd always regret it. I'm just terrified
Has anyone had to deal with leaving your partner behind to go travelling? I finish uni this year and for as long as I can remember I've planned to go and live abroad for a while after graduating. I've talked to my boyfriend about it but he wants to start his career path and isn't really interested in travelling. Anyway I plan to go to Australia to stay with my uncle for 6 months in October. My boyfriend has contemplated coming to visit in January, but it depends on his job.
I'm just really struggling to imagine being on the other side of the world for so long without him, but I know that if I didn't do this now and we broke up in the future I'd always regret it. I'm just terrified
It's our first year anniversary coming up pretty soon and then its his birthday not long after that. I'm a bit stuck what to buy him, he usually buys any games, DVDs etc he wants himself so I'm kinda stuck :/ Any suggestions?
Hi everyone, I came across this thread and thought that maybe someone would have some advice/words of encouragement for me 
My bf of 2 years is moving to London to start his graduate placement in August. The length of his placement isn't specified in his contract but I know he plans on spending a good few years in London working his way up, he knows what he wants but not how long it will take (at least 5 years).
But I don't live in London, I live in Scotland. I'm going to start another degree after summer and that should last 4 years. After that, I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do.
He has planned it out so that we take turns to see each other at least every 3 weeks, which is great in theory but I've never done something like this before and don't know how well it would work it. The longest we've been apart was for 3 months last summer when he worked, I only visited him once but being apart was so hard and I would spend my days counting down the hours until I could see him again and we skyped/called almost every night.
I like to think that, in 5 years time, we'll still be together because we really get on so well and have survived some big problems that plagued us at the beginning. He's my biggest emotional support and is the only one I want to turn to when I need it. I'm going to have trouble adjusting to not having him nearby all the time.
I guess I'm just afraid of how it's all going to pan out in the end. As I have no idea where I'll be after my degree, the lack of stability and certainty really has me worried. It could be years before we actually live in the same city again. What is it like, being in a long-term LDR? Thanks
My bf of 2 years is moving to London to start his graduate placement in August. The length of his placement isn't specified in his contract but I know he plans on spending a good few years in London working his way up, he knows what he wants but not how long it will take (at least 5 years).
But I don't live in London, I live in Scotland. I'm going to start another degree after summer and that should last 4 years. After that, I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do.
He has planned it out so that we take turns to see each other at least every 3 weeks, which is great in theory but I've never done something like this before and don't know how well it would work it. The longest we've been apart was for 3 months last summer when he worked, I only visited him once but being apart was so hard and I would spend my days counting down the hours until I could see him again and we skyped/called almost every night.
I like to think that, in 5 years time, we'll still be together because we really get on so well and have survived some big problems that plagued us at the beginning. He's my biggest emotional support and is the only one I want to turn to when I need it. I'm going to have trouble adjusting to not having him nearby all the time.
I guess I'm just afraid of how it's all going to pan out in the end. As I have no idea where I'll be after my degree, the lack of stability and certainty really has me worried. It could be years before we actually live in the same city again. What is it like, being in a long-term LDR? Thanks
Original post by lica
Hi everyone, I came across this thread and thought that maybe someone would have some advice/words of encouragement for me
My bf of 2 years is moving to London to start his graduate placement in August. The length of his placement isn't specified in his contract but I know he plans on spending a good few years in London working his way up, he knows what he wants but not how long it will take (at least 5 years).
But I don't live in London, I live in Scotland. I'm going to start another degree after summer and that should last 4 years. After that, I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do.
He has planned it out so that we take turns to see each other at least every 3 weeks, which is great in theory but I've never done something like this before and don't know how well it would work it. The longest we've been apart was for 3 months last summer when he worked, I only visited him once but being apart was so hard and I would spend my days counting down the hours until I could see him again and we skyped/called almost every night.
I like to think that, in 5 years time, we'll still be together because we really get on so well and have survived some big problems that plagued us at the beginning. He's my biggest emotional support and is the only one I want to turn to when I need it. I'm going to have trouble adjusting to not having him nearby all the time.
I guess I'm just afraid of how it's all going to pan out in the end. As I have no idea where I'll be after my degree, the lack of stability and certainty really has me worried. It could be years before we actually live in the same city again. What is it like, being in a long-term LDR? Thanks
My bf of 2 years is moving to London to start his graduate placement in August. The length of his placement isn't specified in his contract but I know he plans on spending a good few years in London working his way up, he knows what he wants but not how long it will take (at least 5 years).
But I don't live in London, I live in Scotland. I'm going to start another degree after summer and that should last 4 years. After that, I don't know where I'll go or what I'll do.
He has planned it out so that we take turns to see each other at least every 3 weeks, which is great in theory but I've never done something like this before and don't know how well it would work it. The longest we've been apart was for 3 months last summer when he worked, I only visited him once but being apart was so hard and I would spend my days counting down the hours until I could see him again and we skyped/called almost every night.
I like to think that, in 5 years time, we'll still be together because we really get on so well and have survived some big problems that plagued us at the beginning. He's my biggest emotional support and is the only one I want to turn to when I need it. I'm going to have trouble adjusting to not having him nearby all the time.
I guess I'm just afraid of how it's all going to pan out in the end. As I have no idea where I'll be after my degree, the lack of stability and certainty really has me worried. It could be years before we actually live in the same city again. What is it like, being in a long-term LDR? Thanks
I'm currently in a long distance relationship, well, if Liverpool to Lincoln counts, but my girlfriend has been in London for the past half year so I could only give a proper account for that time. We've been together for 3 and a half years but we don't get to see each other often, but I have learnt that you really must buy tickets WELL in advance if you're visiting by train, since London isn't cheap. Keep your eye out for travel deals if money's a factor.
If you both have skype with webcams that'd be brilliant too, it's difficult when one is going through a difficult time and you're so far apart, but hang in there because it'll be worth the wait! That's about all I can say, but I wish you all the best, it'll be hard at first trying to get used to not seeing them often, and traffic and delays are a thing, as is internet connection. My girlfriend is usually worrying about me finding someone else while we're away, but if you've built up enough trust you will both be fine, just keep up with communications
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, right?
I wish both of you all the best
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sorry fellow LDRers if this alienates you all but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.
Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
All I can say is congratulations... My honeymoon period finished within 6 months, and we have our 5 year anniversary coming up in June. I wish I was still so soppy and lovey dovey, but frankly we're not. He's now living in Manchester and we will be long distance for the next 4 years. It doesn't make the heart grow fonder, in fact it makes everything harder and boring and difficult to deal with.
I know i'll spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend, but Uni is dragging us apart for now... Not cool.
So you are one of the lucky ones, who get's to be in their honeymoon phase for a long time and I for one and very happy for you.
xxOriginal post by Anonymous
I'm sorry fellow LDRers if this alienates you all but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.
Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
but I have a question and didn't want to sicken my IRL friends.Has anyone else found that the "honeymoon phase" wasn't a thing in their relationship? It seems to have come up in a lot of relationship threads recently, and the more I read about it, the more I just don't recognise it at all.
I've not been with my boyfriend a short time, it's been 5 years - but I am still enthralled, amazed and excited about him, like all of the time. He is my go-to happy thought. I think he is literally the dreamiest and nicest best person in the world. I am quite ridiculous when it comes to him. Our relationship has grown and changed over the years, but not in a way which diminishes these gross, soppy feelings of mine.
Is this an LDR thing? Like distance makes the heart grow fonder? Does anyone else feel the same?
The big question: is everything going to change when we live together really soon? It's crazy, I have literally been looking forward to and fantasising about this end goal forever, but now I'm a bit scared our relationship is going to radically change and these feelings will go away. I feel like he deserves for me to feel this way forever and I never want to be less crazy about him.
I know this is a really barftastic, pathetic sort of anti-problem and I am sorry.. just basically curious in case anyone in the same position could fill me on what it was like when they lived together. I'm starting to feel paranoid our relationship is somehow fed by the distance! Like we'll have to simulate the distance when we live together! It's been so long, I've never really known not being in an LDR with him.
Here are some barf smileys:
]
I know how you feel about worrying living together! I've been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years, last year we lived together and this academic year we've been living in different places (he graduated). I graduate this year and we're waiting to find out where he'll be working as I'm going to go with him but I am slightly worried that things will change. I hate being apart from him so much but I'm worried he might have gotten used to being apart and will hate having me around all the time (especially as we're likely to be somewhere where we know no one)
Feel like I'm counting down the days until my boyfriend goes to Australia for a year. Really didn't want this to happen, I just want to enjoy the time we have but I feel like we're not making the most of it. I won't see him from July-December and I'm so worried. I feel like I'm going to be miserable ALL the time and that I won't be able to cope whilst he'll be living it up having the time of his life in Australia not even thinking about me.
Sometimes I feel like I will be OK, other times I can't even think about it it makes me feel so sick.
I still don't think it's hit me that I won't see him for so long yet I can't stop thinking about it, idk what to do
Sometimes I feel like I will be OK, other times I can't even think about it it makes me feel so sick.
I still don't think it's hit me that I won't see him for so long yet I can't stop thinking about it, idk what to do
Original post by Anonymous
Hey guys,
Has anyone had to deal with leaving your partner behind to go travelling? I finish uni this year and for as long as I can remember I've planned to go and live abroad for a while after graduating. I've talked to my boyfriend about it but he wants to start his career path and isn't really interested in travelling. Anyway I plan to go to Australia to stay with my uncle for 6 months in October. My boyfriend has contemplated coming to visit in January, but it depends on his job.
I'm just really struggling to imagine being on the other side of the world for so long without him, but I know that if I didn't do this now and we broke up in the future I'd always regret it. I'm just terrified
Has anyone had to deal with leaving your partner behind to go travelling? I finish uni this year and for as long as I can remember I've planned to go and live abroad for a while after graduating. I've talked to my boyfriend about it but he wants to start his career path and isn't really interested in travelling. Anyway I plan to go to Australia to stay with my uncle for 6 months in October. My boyfriend has contemplated coming to visit in January, but it depends on his job.
I'm just really struggling to imagine being on the other side of the world for so long without him, but I know that if I didn't do this now and we broke up in the future I'd always regret it. I'm just terrified
I had a similar issue - bf stayed in London to start his career and I went abroad to do a 2 year graduate programme. It's worked out fine for us - 2 years passes a lot quicker than you'd think - and it was definitely the right decision for me. I'd say that if you've always wanted to travel after graduating, then do it
Good luck!Quick Reply
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