The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre Mark II
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Hi All,
I have just returned from a Visit to see my Boyfriend of 6 years on and off. Distance has been a right MUG because hes Studying Neurosurgery (6-9 YEAR COURSE). Time zones sometimes makes it difficult to communicate frequently as he lives in Ukraine.
Sometimes it really gets to me, We have been through the worst part of it all but I at times feel like one day he could just up and leave or vice versa. I will also mention I am not insecure but because we were both studying full time and the structure of our academic year is different it makes it difficult to see each other. I live in the UK.
Asides skype, viber and facebook what do you guys suggest especially if we cant see each other as frequently as we would like to, to keep that trust solid ect ect ?
I have just returned from a Visit to see my Boyfriend of 6 years on and off. Distance has been a right MUG because hes Studying Neurosurgery (6-9 YEAR COURSE). Time zones sometimes makes it difficult to communicate frequently as he lives in Ukraine.
Sometimes it really gets to me, We have been through the worst part of it all but I at times feel like one day he could just up and leave or vice versa. I will also mention I am not insecure but because we were both studying full time and the structure of our academic year is different it makes it difficult to see each other. I live in the UK.
Asides skype, viber and facebook what do you guys suggest especially if we cant see each other as frequently as we would like to, to keep that trust solid ect ect ?
Original post by Anonymous
Hi All,
I have just returned from a Visit to see my Boyfriend of 6 years on and off. Distance has been a right MUG because hes Studying Neurosurgery (6-9 YEAR COURSE). Time zones sometimes makes it difficult to communicate frequently as he lives in Ukraine.
Sometimes it really gets to me, We have been through the worst part of it all but I at times feel like one day he could just up and leave or vice versa. I will also mention I am not insecure but because we were both studying full time and the structure of our academic year is different it makes it difficult to see each other. I live in the UK.
Asides skype, viber and facebook what do you guys suggest especially if we cant see each other as frequently as we would like to, to keep that trust solid ect ect ?
I have just returned from a Visit to see my Boyfriend of 6 years on and off. Distance has been a right MUG because hes Studying Neurosurgery (6-9 YEAR COURSE). Time zones sometimes makes it difficult to communicate frequently as he lives in Ukraine.
Sometimes it really gets to me, We have been through the worst part of it all but I at times feel like one day he could just up and leave or vice versa. I will also mention I am not insecure but because we were both studying full time and the structure of our academic year is different it makes it difficult to see each other. I live in the UK.
Asides skype, viber and facebook what do you guys suggest especially if we cant see each other as frequently as we would like to, to keep that trust solid ect ect ?
I am having a really hard time keeping my relationship together, I cant choose between her or the the UKCAT exam. Any advice on who is better in my life?
My boyfriend lives in Australia, I live in the UK. The next time I'll see him is in December. Sometimes it's tough but I'm really focused on my things and so is he, so I guess that helps.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi All,
I have just returned from a Visit to see my Boyfriend of 6 years on and off. Distance has been a right MUG because hes Studying Neurosurgery (6-9 YEAR COURSE). Time zones sometimes makes it difficult to communicate frequently as he lives in Ukraine.
Sometimes it really gets to me, We have been through the worst part of it all but I at times feel like one day he could just up and leave or vice versa. I will also mention I am not insecure but because we were both studying full time and the structure of our academic year is different it makes it difficult to see each other. I live in the UK.
Asides skype, viber and facebook what do you guys suggest especially if we cant see each other as frequently as we would like to, to keep that trust solid ect ect ?
I have just returned from a Visit to see my Boyfriend of 6 years on and off. Distance has been a right MUG because hes Studying Neurosurgery (6-9 YEAR COURSE). Time zones sometimes makes it difficult to communicate frequently as he lives in Ukraine.
Sometimes it really gets to me, We have been through the worst part of it all but I at times feel like one day he could just up and leave or vice versa. I will also mention I am not insecure but because we were both studying full time and the structure of our academic year is different it makes it difficult to see each other. I live in the UK.
Asides skype, viber and facebook what do you guys suggest especially if we cant see each other as frequently as we would like to, to keep that trust solid ect ect ?
You just have to be transparent / honest with him, let each other know your schedules, plans etc. Don't go ages without replying and not a day without speaking.
In long distance relationships the key is strong communication. You think your time difference is bad? There's seven hours between UK and WA, LOL. But we talk every day.
met someone when i was on holiday about 3 months ago and been mad for them ever since. hes about a 1 hour flight away so it's not as bad as some people- i went to see him for a weekend last month and it was one of the best times ever, but i just feel like its totally doomed. I'm either at uni or work 7 days a week and he works full time now so i don't know when we'd ever see each other, and it makes me think what's the point of carrying this on when its not really going anywhere. I don't think he would be willing to do an LDR which is fair enough but i feel like i don't want anyone else....gahhh. It's so annoying because we get on so well! i go through periods of hope thinking it could work out then other times i'm thinking its a complete waste of time and i'm going to end up heartbroken.
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and she's my first love, and our relationship is really great, but we're going to two different unis on the opposite sides of the country, as well as having to hide our relationship from our parents.
She's going to a uni fairly local to us, so she's worried about her parents turning up unannounced on a Sunday morning and finding out, so we're currently on a sort of break until she can discern whether it would be worth the risk and how often they visit (which is killing me inside btw- I haven't cried this much since I was a kid).
She also would have to move back home for the second year.
Further to all this, even if we were to survive the next three years, we'd have to contend alienating both our families in order to even have a shot at marriage.
Right now, we both love each other too much to just cut each other out, and would like to remain friends (although I'm sure that I'd need some time of no contact, as I have three weeks until I start uni and nothing else to really think about), but what should I do?
Should we end it totally, and close the door completely?
Is it a good idea to remain friends, and how should we go about it?
She's going to a uni fairly local to us, so she's worried about her parents turning up unannounced on a Sunday morning and finding out, so we're currently on a sort of break until she can discern whether it would be worth the risk and how often they visit (which is killing me inside btw- I haven't cried this much since I was a kid).
She also would have to move back home for the second year.
Further to all this, even if we were to survive the next three years, we'd have to contend alienating both our families in order to even have a shot at marriage.
Right now, we both love each other too much to just cut each other out, and would like to remain friends (although I'm sure that I'd need some time of no contact, as I have three weeks until I start uni and nothing else to really think about), but what should I do?
Should we end it totally, and close the door completely?
Is it a good idea to remain friends, and how should we go about it?
I need some advice. Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years, about 18 months of which has been a long distance relationship. We currently live 2.5hrs from each other which i know isn't far but it's not how we want to live long term.
Basically for the sake of my career i went where the best job was and decided to gain experience for a year or so before trying to move closer to him. It's been almost a year and a job has come up in the same town he lives in.
Thing is I'm TERRIFIED of now making this step. It feels so scary to actually go from seeing each other every 3 weeks to living near each other. I'm worried our whole dynamic will change, or worse, we will break up and iI have moved unnecessarily. Is this normal? For this whole year I've been counting down until i could start applying for jobs... But now the time has come I'm freaking out!
Basically for the sake of my career i went where the best job was and decided to gain experience for a year or so before trying to move closer to him. It's been almost a year and a job has come up in the same town he lives in.
Thing is I'm TERRIFIED of now making this step. It feels so scary to actually go from seeing each other every 3 weeks to living near each other. I'm worried our whole dynamic will change, or worse, we will break up and iI have moved unnecessarily. Is this normal? For this whole year I've been counting down until i could start applying for jobs... But now the time has come I'm freaking out!
My boyfriend went back to uni this week for postgrad study (been together for nearly 4 years), 2.5 hours away from me. We've said we'll see each other every other weekend at least. I have been feeling a little weird about one of his housemates being a girl who he seems to be getting on really well with. He didn't choose to live with her, rather just went into a house share that she happened to have gone into too, and I don't think he would ever cheat on me, but obviously he's not seeing me that often whereas he lives with her, and a part of me is worried they could become quite close (and also I wish I was living with him 
) and with me not being around much he'll develop feelings for her and realise he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm not normally a jealous girlfriend (in fact he can be worse in terms of that with me), but this is something I've never had to think about before as while we've been together he's only ever lived with all guys or his mum. I think part of it is because we practically lived together when we met, so it echoes that a little bit, and this is the first serious relationship either of us have ever had. I think I'll be fine about it once I've met her...maybe it's because I don't know her that I'm feeling like this.
I guess I'm just posting because I want to know if this is a normal way to feel?
) and with me not being around much he'll develop feelings for her and realise he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm not normally a jealous girlfriend (in fact he can be worse in terms of that with me), but this is something I've never had to think about before as while we've been together he's only ever lived with all guys or his mum. I think part of it is because we practically lived together when we met, so it echoes that a little bit, and this is the first serious relationship either of us have ever had. I think I'll be fine about it once I've met her...maybe it's because I don't know her that I'm feeling like this. I guess I'm just posting because I want to know if this is a normal way to feel?
Original post by Anonymous
I need some advice. Me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years, about 18 months of which has been a long distance relationship. We currently live 2.5hrs from each other which i know isn't far but it's not how we want to live long term.
Basically for the sake of my career i went where the best job was and decided to gain experience for a year or so before trying to move closer to him. It's been almost a year and a job has come up in the same town he lives in.
Thing is I'm TERRIFIED of now making this step. It feels so scary to actually go from seeing each other every 3 weeks to living near each other. I'm worried our whole dynamic will change, or worse, we will break up and iI have moved unnecessarily. Is this normal? For this whole year I've been counting down until i could start applying for jobs... But now the time has come I'm freaking out!
Basically for the sake of my career i went where the best job was and decided to gain experience for a year or so before trying to move closer to him. It's been almost a year and a job has come up in the same town he lives in.
Thing is I'm TERRIFIED of now making this step. It feels so scary to actually go from seeing each other every 3 weeks to living near each other. I'm worried our whole dynamic will change, or worse, we will break up and iI have moved unnecessarily. Is this normal? For this whole year I've been counting down until i could start applying for jobs... But now the time has come I'm freaking out!
Hi there, I can relate. Completely. After 5 years long distance (UK/Germany) I moved to be with my boyfriend; that was 2 years ago now and it's been such an experience! Congratulations on moving your own career to facilitate this. That takes determination. My best advice would be that you see this as a life experience/adventure rather than a test on your relationship. It'll be more fun that way
When you arrive, try to build your own network of friends and social things as quickly as possible - this really helped me, especially in a foreign country where my language wasn't massively up to standard! Enjoy the experience. Oh, and in terms of living with each other after being long distance; anticipate the change and tensions by turning it into a kind of bet/joke. We said "I wonder who'll be the first to say; leave me a lone for a while!" so, when it happened, we could laugh about it and give space on good terms instead of piling the situation with pressure. Hope this helps? All the best! LeahOriginal post by Anonymous
My boyfriend and I met at University during Freshers' Week and have been together ever since. That was three years ago and we've both just graduated. He's moved back home and is doing a masters at the local university and I've moved back home but have no idea as to what I will be doing yet (I am still awaiting my final degree classification). I've been struggling with an anxiety disorder (and previously depression), which has left me hopeless at making decisions- especially those involving big career decisions. I have no money and am completely reliant on my parents, so I wouldn't realistically be able to afford to move out or closer to him. We're about 150 miles apart and both have cars. The problem with us both being at home, is that we don't have 'personal time'- the other always feels on guard that there surrounded by the other's family. We've gone from having 24/7 for three years to isolation.
In my home town, I don't have any friends. I was bullied at school and the couple of people that I was amicable with have gone off to different towns or I haven't spoken to them in three years. I don't have any siblings or young relatives nearby, either. My boyfriend has brothers, sisters and lots of local friends and I'm sure he'll make new friends on his course too. I'm worried that I will be bored and become resentful of him- one thing that I definitely don't want to happen. I need to get out and socialise more but things keep getting in the way and holding me back (past bullying, anxiety disorder e.t.c).
I don't know if anyone is as clueless about their future as I am. My mind changes from day-to-day. One minute I want to be a doctor, then banker, then teacher, then journalist- I just have no certain aspirations! It's really draining. People constantly ask what I will do and I just stare blankly and shrug it off. The one thing that was certain to me about my future was my relationship but I think this uncertainty is going to be a lot harder than I originally thought and I don't know what to do...
In my home town, I don't have any friends. I was bullied at school and the couple of people that I was amicable with have gone off to different towns or I haven't spoken to them in three years. I don't have any siblings or young relatives nearby, either. My boyfriend has brothers, sisters and lots of local friends and I'm sure he'll make new friends on his course too. I'm worried that I will be bored and become resentful of him- one thing that I definitely don't want to happen. I need to get out and socialise more but things keep getting in the way and holding me back (past bullying, anxiety disorder e.t.c).
I don't know if anyone is as clueless about their future as I am. My mind changes from day-to-day. One minute I want to be a doctor, then banker, then teacher, then journalist- I just have no certain aspirations! It's really draining. People constantly ask what I will do and I just stare blankly and shrug it off. The one thing that was certain to me about my future was my relationship but I think this uncertainty is going to be a lot harder than I originally thought and I don't know what to do...
You're where I was 5 years ago; anxiety issues, no money (lost it all when I left an industry internship and still had to pay London rent for 3 months - oh man!), living with parents in a town I had no contacts & long distance relationship. Is there any way you can move into his home and build things from there? After 3 years with my parents I moved to live with my boyfriend and his family, which isn't ideal but they're really nice so it worked. If that's not an option just yet then you could do what I did and get a local job (ANY job) as this will get you busy, get some money in and you might meet some cool people there. At the same time try and drop the idea of making a job title an aspiration. This is what the world tells us to do and it's so flawed. Ask yourself this: What ONE positive do I care most about creating in our world? And begin doing something, anything small, towards that. All the best! Leah
Hello, I moved to England 8 years ago from Romania and I feel like I've got an accent. For this reason, I don't to talk much to new people because they judge me, for some reason i'm so scared that people will judge me in a bad way. I know it's irrelevant but i just don't know what to do. Also, naturally, I'm just less talkative. I'm shy as well. I'm doing A-levels and just started college.
I want to work on my confidence - I want to destroy this shyness and i want to be able to fluently without caring anyone thinks. I want to be happy. It's the CONFIDENT i'm after. Any advice?
I want to work on my confidence - I want to destroy this shyness and i want to be able to fluently without caring anyone thinks. I want to be happy. It's the CONFIDENT i'm after. Any advice?
Original post by Rock-Sophie
Hello, I moved to England 8 years ago from Romania and I feel like I've got an accent. For this reason, I don't to talk much to new people because they judge me, for some reason i'm so scared that people will judge me in a bad way. I know it's irrelevant but i just don't know what to do. Also, naturally, I'm just less talkative. I'm shy as well. I'm doing A-levels and just started college. I want to work on my confidence - I want to destroy this shyness and i want to be able to fluently without caring anyone thinks. I want to be happy. It's the CONFIDENT i'm after. Any advice?
Hi Rock-Sophie, this may not be the best thread for replies but, seen as I'm watching this anyway, I'll chime in with an idea. It's possible to 'fake it till you make it' with confidence i.e. pretend that you're confident until it feels natural. In my experience of doing this throughout school/uni... it's exhausting! It also comes with a whole load of mental baggage (the crappy voice in my head would say; 'stop pretending, you fake' - blaaagh!). So, here's another way: Imagine yourself talking so confidently (accent and all - check out all the people in the world who hold huge crowds speaking English with an accent!) to one person, or a room of people or even you're on stage addressing a huge crowd -this is just pretend so go there if it seems fun- What (in this fantasy world) are you talking about? What are you saying that has people leaning in to you to hear more? Is it a story you're telling that teaches them something? Or something you're doing that help others? What are you tanking about? When you have an idea, your confidence will develop as you go and start making that happen. For a long time I kept quiet because I had nothing to say for myself except good school grades and a job title that didn't represent me at all. Confidence will grow as you grow. This isn't a quick fix but, if you try this, things may happen quicker than you expect. Within one year of me starting this, people are publishing my articles and inviting me to speak at events! Crazy! Try doing something that means you have a reason to be confident more than it making day-to-day life easier. All the best!
Hi guys, wow its been ages since ive been on TSR, since the start of first year, im third year now 
time flies...
At the end of the last uni year me and my boyfriend got together. That was the end of his third year and he just graduated, so our relationship has always been long distance and this is my first relationship.
Since I've started back at uni I haven't been able to focus well on work cause of missing him, and I think about him all the time, which i think i need to work on and get back into the swing of uni life, and if anyone can help with how to do that that'd be great
But mostly I want to ask what is normal to feel in this situation. When I told a friend earlier today that I've been feeling a bit down the last couple of days because we haven't talked as much as usual, but today I woke up to a text from him and that put me in a really good mood, she said that a person shouldn't have that much control over me..
So is it normal to be affected like this just by being able to/not being able to contact your partner, if there is a normal?
Also, sorry if tmi but, I've just got the implant, I've had it for a couple of months and my moods have been all over the place since, so maybe its just that and it'll get better as I get used to the implant, but this being my first relationship I don't know how I'd be feeling without it, other than that the first time he had to leave after I got the implant, I missed him ten times worse than any other time before, but that week was also the first time we said we loved each other..
So pretty much I'm just really confused and miss him loads, help?
Thanks
time flies...At the end of the last uni year me and my boyfriend got together. That was the end of his third year and he just graduated, so our relationship has always been long distance and this is my first relationship.
Since I've started back at uni I haven't been able to focus well on work cause of missing him, and I think about him all the time, which i think i need to work on and get back into the swing of uni life, and if anyone can help with how to do that that'd be great
But mostly I want to ask what is normal to feel in this situation. When I told a friend earlier today that I've been feeling a bit down the last couple of days because we haven't talked as much as usual, but today I woke up to a text from him and that put me in a really good mood, she said that a person shouldn't have that much control over me..
So is it normal to be affected like this just by being able to/not being able to contact your partner, if there is a normal?
Also, sorry if tmi but, I've just got the implant, I've had it for a couple of months and my moods have been all over the place since, so maybe its just that and it'll get better as I get used to the implant, but this being my first relationship I don't know how I'd be feeling without it, other than that the first time he had to leave after I got the implant, I missed him ten times worse than any other time before, but that week was also the first time we said we loved each other..
So pretty much I'm just really confused and miss him loads, help?
Thanks
My boyfriend broke up with me as soon as i opened up to him about depression.
It all started when i found out that he got a place at uni in Scotland (250 miles away) in august. Ever since then i suddenly realised that this is the start of real life and it hit me hard. All of my friends have gone off to uni and moved away from here. Whilst I'm stuck at college for another year. I was scared of being alone as its one of my biggest fears. As i started college i tried to go out of my way to make friends...but i had no luck. As the days went by i felt myself feeling more lonely every day. I didn't know how to cope with it it all. I missed my boyfriend soo much, i was scared id loose him because of the distance. Id tried to suggest things that could make it easier for us both such as Skype, Date nights on Skype, sending each other gifts and letters every now and again. But all i got was 'We'll See'. Felt like i was making all the effort.
Then he took and interest in his new flatmate (Chloe) and kept on telling me about their days out together going shopping, going to the zoo, ice skating, dinners together. Every time i would talk to him he would tell me all about her. He then came home to visit me and his family but when he was with me he would be on his phone all the time texting her. Just felt second best and that made me feel even worse about myself.
He noticed that i wasn't myself. I told him about how i've been feeling so alone and missing him. I didn't feel like eating or any motivation to do anything any more because i thought what's the point. I told him about how my mum was worried about me because she's noticed i've lost loads of weight in a space of a month and had arranged to see the GP for depression. He then reassured me that everything will be okay and he will be there for me if i want to open up to him about anything.
He then went back to uni later on in the day and we was having a heart to heart about everything. I asked him if he preferred Chloe over me. He got annoyed and called me names such as 'Childish', 'Idiot'. He even said he hated me and didn't love me any more .
He broke up with me over text.
I don't know what to do with my self any more because he was the only one I trusted. I cant help thinking tha'ts all my fault. If i didn't feel soo down. Maybe things would be different. Im Heartbroken. He was my first love.
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It all started when i found out that he got a place at uni in Scotland (250 miles away) in august. Ever since then i suddenly realised that this is the start of real life and it hit me hard. All of my friends have gone off to uni and moved away from here. Whilst I'm stuck at college for another year. I was scared of being alone as its one of my biggest fears. As i started college i tried to go out of my way to make friends...but i had no luck. As the days went by i felt myself feeling more lonely every day. I didn't know how to cope with it it all. I missed my boyfriend soo much, i was scared id loose him because of the distance. Id tried to suggest things that could make it easier for us both such as Skype, Date nights on Skype, sending each other gifts and letters every now and again. But all i got was 'We'll See'. Felt like i was making all the effort.
Then he took and interest in his new flatmate (Chloe) and kept on telling me about their days out together going shopping, going to the zoo, ice skating, dinners together. Every time i would talk to him he would tell me all about her. He then came home to visit me and his family but when he was with me he would be on his phone all the time texting her. Just felt second best and that made me feel even worse about myself.
He noticed that i wasn't myself. I told him about how i've been feeling so alone and missing him. I didn't feel like eating or any motivation to do anything any more because i thought what's the point. I told him about how my mum was worried about me because she's noticed i've lost loads of weight in a space of a month and had arranged to see the GP for depression. He then reassured me that everything will be okay and he will be there for me if i want to open up to him about anything.
He then went back to uni later on in the day and we was having a heart to heart about everything. I asked him if he preferred Chloe over me. He got annoyed and called me names such as 'Childish', 'Idiot'. He even said he hated me and didn't love me any more .
He broke up with me over text.
I don't know what to do with my self any more because he was the only one I trusted. I cant help thinking tha'ts all my fault. If i didn't feel soo down. Maybe things would be different. Im Heartbroken. He was my first love.
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Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and a few weeks ago both left for university. Except we are about 7 hours apart from each other (opposite ends of the country).
I thought I would be able to handle it but everything has gone down hill. He barely speaks to me and when he does it it just small talk or his replies are really sharp... He never calls me either. Ever. He even deleted me from facebook which was strange, and refuses to accept me again.
I don't expect to speak to him all day everyday and would never want that from him, as we both have our own things to do, but it hurts that he is perfectly ok to go days without speaking to me when we are so far apart and have not seen each other for a month now.
I don't really know what to think, it is making me insecure and very unhappy. I feel like it's reducing my concentration when I'm trying to study.
We have had multiple conversations which have escalated into arguments about this and nothing ever changes and I can't see it changing.
So lost and nobody to speak to = rant on TSR
I thought I would be able to handle it but everything has gone down hill. He barely speaks to me and when he does it it just small talk or his replies are really sharp... He never calls me either. Ever. He even deleted me from facebook which was strange, and refuses to accept me again.
I don't expect to speak to him all day everyday and would never want that from him, as we both have our own things to do, but it hurts that he is perfectly ok to go days without speaking to me when we are so far apart and have not seen each other for a month now.
I don't really know what to think, it is making me insecure and very unhappy. I feel like it's reducing my concentration when I'm trying to study.
We have had multiple conversations which have escalated into arguments about this and nothing ever changes and I can't see it changing.
So lost and nobody to speak to = rant on TSR
Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and a few weeks ago both left for university. Except we are about 7 hours apart from each other (opposite ends of the country).
I thought I would be able to handle it but everything has gone down hill. He barely speaks to me and when he does it it just small talk or his replies are really sharp... He never calls me either. Ever. He even deleted me from facebook which was strange, and refuses to accept me again.
I don't expect to speak to him all day everyday and would never want that from him, as we both have our own things to do, but it hurts that he is perfectly ok to go days without speaking to me when we are so far apart and have not seen each other for a month now.
I don't really know what to think, it is making me insecure and very unhappy. I feel like it's reducing my concentration when I'm trying to study.
We have had multiple conversations which have escalated into arguments about this and nothing ever changes and I can't see it changing.
So lost and nobody to speak to = rant on TSR
I thought I would be able to handle it but everything has gone down hill. He barely speaks to me and when he does it it just small talk or his replies are really sharp... He never calls me either. Ever. He even deleted me from facebook which was strange, and refuses to accept me again.
I don't expect to speak to him all day everyday and would never want that from him, as we both have our own things to do, but it hurts that he is perfectly ok to go days without speaking to me when we are so far apart and have not seen each other for a month now.
I don't really know what to think, it is making me insecure and very unhappy. I feel like it's reducing my concentration when I'm trying to study.
We have had multiple conversations which have escalated into arguments about this and nothing ever changes and I can't see it changing.
So lost and nobody to speak to = rant on TSR
It seems very strange he's deleted you from Facebook, are you sure he's not trying to hide something from you?
He doesn't seem like he wants to be in the relationship from what you have described unfortunately
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Original post by annarchy.
It seems very strange he's deleted you from Facebook, are you sure he's not trying to hide something from you?
He doesn't seem like he wants to be in the relationship from what you have described unfortunately
Posted from TSR Mobile
He doesn't seem like he wants to be in the relationship from what you have described unfortunately
Posted from TSR Mobile
Well that's the thing, I would never ever know if he was hiding anything but if I question him about it he gets very angry which forces me to just drop it.
I've asked him if he still wants to be in the relationship and he says yes... but what he is doing to me contradicts that completely
Original post by Anonymous
Well that's the thing, I would never ever know if he was hiding anything but if I question him about it he gets very angry which forces me to just drop it.
I've asked him if he still wants to be in the relationship and he says yes... but what he is doing to me contradicts that completely
I've asked him if he still wants to be in the relationship and he says yes... but what he is doing to me contradicts that completely
Have any of your friends got him on Facebook or anything?
You're clearly not happy though and even if you've been going out for a certain length of time you have to put your happiness first
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Original post by Anonymous
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years and a few weeks ago both left for university. Except we are about 7 hours apart from each other (opposite ends of the country).
I thought I would be able to handle it but everything has gone down hill. He barely speaks to me and when he does it it just small talk or his replies are really sharp... He never calls me either. Ever. He even deleted me from facebook which was strange, and refuses to accept me again.
I don't expect to speak to him all day everyday and would never want that from him, as we both have our own things to do, but it hurts that he is perfectly ok to go days without speaking to me when we are so far apart and have not seen each other for a month now.
I don't really know what to think, it is making me insecure and very unhappy. I feel like it's reducing my concentration when I'm trying to study.
We have had multiple conversations which have escalated into arguments about this and nothing ever changes and I can't see it changing.
So lost and nobody to speak to = rant on TSR
I thought I would be able to handle it but everything has gone down hill. He barely speaks to me and when he does it it just small talk or his replies are really sharp... He never calls me either. Ever. He even deleted me from facebook which was strange, and refuses to accept me again.
I don't expect to speak to him all day everyday and would never want that from him, as we both have our own things to do, but it hurts that he is perfectly ok to go days without speaking to me when we are so far apart and have not seen each other for a month now.
I don't really know what to think, it is making me insecure and very unhappy. I feel like it's reducing my concentration when I'm trying to study.
We have had multiple conversations which have escalated into arguments about this and nothing ever changes and I can't see it changing.
So lost and nobody to speak to = rant on TSR
His behaviour is really strange, and in that situation I would be a complete wreck. I agree that he could be trying to hide something from you - he's not treating you very well here, and it sounds like you're getting to a point where you can't seem to resolve this either.
Have you arranged to see each other any time soon? I wouldn't break up with him over text or anything, wait until you see each other and if you can't talk it through in person it might be time to end it. Unfortunately sometimes a relationship may have run its course and although distance can work for some, it can cause problems in a relationship that perhaps isn't meant to be anymore. You need to really think about whether it's worth staying together if this is the way he's going to treat you and he doesn't care that you're unhappy about it.
Original post by Tactical Nuclear Penguin
Hello and welcome to the LDR society advice centre, mark II!
500 pages and 10,000 posts have been reached in the original thread - that's a lot of people who have been given advice about their LDR (or a potential one). It's time to start afresh!
If you are in an LDR or will be in the future and want to talk about it, feel free to post here and we'll do our best to give you advice on any problems or issues that you want to discuss.
If you just feel like an un-LDR related chat, you can come to the LDR Society chat thread which is located here
Welcome once again and enjoy the thread - this is open to all
TNP
500 pages and 10,000 posts have been reached in the original thread - that's a lot of people who have been given advice about their LDR (or a potential one). It's time to start afresh!
If you are in an LDR or will be in the future and want to talk about it, feel free to post here and we'll do our best to give you advice on any problems or issues that you want to discuss.
If you just feel like an un-LDR related chat, you can come to the LDR Society chat thread which is located here
Welcome once again and enjoy the thread - this is open to all
TNP
Hey,
I am currently in a relationship of six months with a guy I love but we just started dating a few months before him leaving secondary school - I was in year 12 when he was in year 13 when we both started dating.
Anyways, in the August A Level results day we went to - he was able to get the grades he needed for university (Burnley University - football university), I am proud that he is going, he has deferred it this year but with this year coming to an end - we know that he will be going to Central Lancashire. We had to planned out that we would be going to university at the same time but plans had to change with results (unfortunately I failed AS Levels). We've talked about it multiple times - we both don't want to have a long-distance relationship but we somehow believe we can make it work.
He's recently been saying that he doesn't want to go to Burnley but it's a university that he has something to do that he enjoys. I don't want him to go but I want him to be happy with doing a course he enjoys.
I am trying soo hard to convince him that him going is a good options but I ruin it by saying something silly which is making him want to stay.
I don't know what to do anymore - any advice I can have please? I don't want to him having to deal with me crying over him leaving - he hates that I feel like this and he feels useless with being unable to help me?
Thank you! Also sorry for rambling on haha.
Hasita xox
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