Your view on raunchy hen/stag-dos?

You must be great fun at parties.

My hen will be a weekend away at a spa with the girls and no men allowed

To be honest (and I don't have much experience here) I think visiting strip clubs or whatever on stag nights is more about having a laugh with you mates than it is about leering after naked women.

And I think a lot of people just use hen nights and stag dos as another excuse to get drunk and go out.

Exactly. I understand the idea of wanting a stag/hen do to be memorable, exciting etc., but if the idea of excitement is deriving sexual excitement from other people, then perhaps you just shouldn't get married :/ seems so far people are split on this matter half seem to think it's fine and fun, the other half don't lol.

Oh and your boyfriend has the right idea! I don't even know how to play poker, but the idea of having fancy drinks in a nice building, dressed up and playing some sort of classy game is a good one! sod it, if I could really splash out, I'd take the male friends to Disney world! (I'm grown up like that)

Edit: I know what my ideal stag would be, if money were not an issue. I'd...rent a castle. A f****** big one! And arrange medieval events, as well as an abundance of alcohol, and have people dress up.

Don't guys usually complain women are too insecure?

I know my boyfriend loves me but I don't expect him to become suddenly blind to aesthetically pleasing women. I'd have an issue if he was dishonest with me or our relationship was compromised by another woman taking his time up etc

He has a hall pass if he wants to use it. I'm not keeping his balls in a vice. He will tell me if a girl flirts with him or asks him out (to lunch) or if he finds a girl attractive. I tell him if I get hit on too. If a guy wants to spend the rest of his life with me I can't begrudge him just looking at other women. Maybe I'm fine with it because even though he has permission he is completely fixated on me.

For his stag night I would make sure he got a lap dance. Well I'd prefer something a bit classier with more artistry like good old fashioned burlesque than anything too baseless.

Or we could have a joint stag and hen party. I am a pole dancer (the ballet/gymnastics/acrobatics kind not strip club ****) so I could ask the other girls at my studio to perform. He's never had an experience like that. He's never played the field or had lots of girls fuss over him so I'd let him enjoy it. Not that he doesn't get the VIP treatment from me.

It probably helps that Im bisexual and appreciate beautiful women as much as he does lol

I don't agree with it personally, the whole idea of marriage is only wanting your partner in that way! If you still want freedom, perhaps you're not ready for marriage? I don't know, but I wouldn't want my fiancé to be off ogling other women right before we're about to get married ^_^
With regards to alternative stag/hen dos though, my boyfriend wants a classy poker night with the boys with true gentlemen style, pocket watches and cigars and all :P

I'm not saying he won't ever find anyone e,se attractive, but, to be honest, I do think couples telling each other all the other guys/girls they find attractive is a bit...odd. It's not something most people would want to hear from their other half. Also, you said he's never had a lap dance before, so you'd let him have one...but why don't YOU give him the lap dance what is it with this whole "let the guy/girl have one night of ogling at someone else/getting a dance" thing? I just think, if you're planning on getting married, even if both people inevitably will find others physically attractive, the whole point is that you don't feel the need to see/engage with others because you're content enough with that one person.

I suppose it is odd for other people. I like that we have that level of trust and honesty. He is content with me but he is not going to be magically blinkered and there is always someone prettier than you out there. Now if he didn't love me so much and make me feel so secure then that WOULD really upset me. If he pretended like other women didn't exist then I'd be a bit worried tbh XD

Sometimes we'll be watching TV and we'll both go 'OMG she's super hot'. For example, we both like Penny from the Big Bang Theory. Then I might joking say who gets her first or something. I'm interested in his interests and I guess that includes taste in women. I know me inside out so I guess i'm curious about what he likes besides me.

I already do lots of things like dress up in sexy costumes and surprise him when he comes home from work. I've err.. never done the lap dance thing because I'm a bit shy when it gets to that line but if I was high enough I'd probably do it. Not in a room full of partiers though.

It might also be the novelty. Because he was the sweetest virginal angel when I got with him I find it sort of cute when he shows signs of testosterone working. Like he's just hit puberty or something lol. When he told me about a girl hitting on him at the pub the poor guy was so flabbergasted and in shock about the whole thing I just said 'Go you!'

MaybeI am too lenient? I love the idea of him getting the rush and ego boost but think it's only because I know he'd never leave me in a million years.If he was a super popular playboy I'd be the most insane paranoid bitch you ever met.

Hehe, perhaps. I don't think he's going to use that hall pass any time soon.

I think I might stick with the idea of the joint stag and hen though. I do worry about both parties getting home safe and being up at a decent time for the wedding, though we might sleep in separate rooms before getting ready etc

I like a little bit of naughtiness but draw the line at complete nudity or tackiness. I like artistic nudes and burlesque as opposed to hardcore pornography, you know? I wouldn't mind burlesque artists at a stag party but I'd be scared of crack whores and any exploitation. I wear corsets but don't like pvc bodysuits and things... Keep it just a little classy? Even down to poledancing I am not a fan of overtly sexual performances or stripper heels. I dance in ballet slippers...

WTF is wrong with me I'm like a prudeslut because I get called both!

Im a straight female but I think seeing a burlesque show might be entertaining, I dont think Id have a joint stag/hen do if I ever get married though. If youre worried about people not being up in time for the wedding why would you have the stag/hen do the night before? In my experience they usually take place the weekend or two before.

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Burlesque can be quite spectacularly theatrical. One of my friends was really into the 1950s, burlesque and pin up girls. She looked gorgeous and classy in clothing of the era. She had very low self esteem until she started taking burlesque classes and getting in to the outfits. THey made her feel desirable, but not cheap. Alot goes into the artistry of it.

I was just under the impression people have the party the night before. I've never been to a hen night, but yes, it is probably best done a little in advance.

As far as I'm concerned, isn't your 'last night of freedom' the night before you asked your now fiancé to be your girlfriend? Technically, once you're in a relationship, although technically classed as single (as in not married) you are taken, and therefore just before you get married is not you're 'last night of freedom', it was in fact years ago? Does this make sense?

Yeah I think thats probably why I wouldnt mind seeing one, its more of an actual show than intended to be a turn on (if that makes sense?) although Im guessing if someones attracted to women then theyd find it sexy, the styles they wear are good to. As I said in an earlier post Ive seen male strippers before, it was a bit sleazy but in a funny way I didnt find it sexy at all.



Good point. Im thinking the "last night of freedom" thing is a throw back from the times when arranged marriages were more common maybe?



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Hehe, perhaps. I don't think he's going to use that hall pass any time soon.

I think I might stick with the idea of the joint stag and hen though. I do worry about both parties getting home safe and being up at a decent time for the wedding, though we might sleep in separate rooms before getting ready etc

I like a little bit of naughtiness but draw the line at complete nudity or tackiness. I like artistic nudes and burlesque as opposed to hardcore pornography, you know? I wouldn't mind burlesque artists at a stag party but I'd be scared of crack whores and any exploitation. I wear corsets but don't like pvc bodysuits and things... Keep it just a little classy? Even down to poledancing I am not a fan of overtly sexual performances or stripper heels. I dance in ballet slippers...

WTF is wrong with me I'm like a prudeslut because I get called both!