TSR for Dummies

I'm still not sure if thoyub is a troll or not. He certainly does sometimes sound like he's taking himself seriously.

If so, the kid needs SERIOUS therapy for his issues with women. Not gonna lie.

I remember him once saying that because he'd seen a few reports in the news about British girls using drugs that it meant that every female in Britain must regularly use recreational drugs

Conveniently, he never seems to criticise men either - no, it's always "All women are druggie slutz because I say so!111!1!"

The kid is just butt hurt, from what I can gather some girls he liked decided to enjoy themselves at Uni. He didn't like this, so because these girls he was obviously infactuated with done things he doesn't like. Means that every girl is going to do the same.

Reminds me of that church family from America the Louis Theroux made a documentary about.

Anyway how are you tonight my little Angel?, still tired from last nights fun and games?

Conveniently, he never seems to criticise men either - no, it's always "All women are druggie slutz because I say so!111!1!"

It's only ever British girls and women he criticises. Apparently every female in America is sweet, respectful, well mannered, takes care of themselves, only has sex after marriage etc.

That's not exactly the only thing one can do besides sleeping around, but according to him anything else makes you a "slut" (and this is coming from a girl who's not having sex before marriage)

Aim to add "bro", "brah" or "do you even lift?" with a few unfunny 'brace yourself' memes and some cat gifs as much in all your posts to gain ultimate rep.

I figured we could maybe use this thread to put the idiosyncracies, rules and quirks of TSR and its users here for any new users to read, to save them the...entertainment of finding them out themselves.

For example:

-Don't put your feet anywhere near Zhy.
-It's a running joke that everyone on TSR has 500 A* (and one A, it was a terrible day and they don't like to talk about it)
-Don't ask ISA how she's getting on at Durham or she'll explode into rather colourful confetti...actually, do, it'll be fun. *grabs popcorn*

Any others to add? I'm not exactly a TSR veteran myself so it would be good to hear some

EDIT - Collation as of 11AM today:
-If you need sex advice, feminism advice, or information on boobs, Tyrion_Lannister is your girl.

-Questioning the prestige of ex-polytechnics is likely suicide.

-If you neg subscribers, they will exact their revenge on you soon enough.

-If you see a thread asking whether words can be defined by images, it's probably advice_guru's fifteenth extra account.

-If you get into a debate about gay marriage, feminism, Oxbridge vs other unis, being a virgin or religion vs atheism, it will likely not end well (particularly if you're gay, a woman, an Oxbridge student, etc)

-Just don't mention feminists. Ever.

-Never debate about going to a gay marriage ceremony in a Mosque in Iraq where half the congregation is feminist and the other half Communists and the vicars a closet Zionist and Fathers for Justice are protesting on the roof whilst getting shot at by Guardian readers for mentioning 'English culture'. (In the words of Angry Stoic)

-Don't post pictures of yourself asking for ratings. You'll get pages of '2/10, elbows too pointy, would not bang' and you will deserve it.

-If you ask for rep, you will get it, but a different colour to what you were hoping for.

-If you want the entirety of TSR to hate you, post things like 'I have 24A* and 1B at GCSE!!!! Omg I've ruined my life can I still maybe get into UEL?' or 'Are 12A* at GCSE enough for Oxbridge?' No. Just no.

-The forum games are dangerously addictive. Don't spam them. And you will be ninja'd EVERY DAMN TIME you try to post.

-The sciences are in every way superior to the arts, and if you do an arts degree you will be living off dog food in the boot of your mum's car for the rest of your pitiful existence.

-If you drink at university you'll get a 3rd. If you ever go on a night out you're not working hard enough.

-If you were involved in any kind of romantic relationship, even for a day, and you brushed against someone else you're basically Hitler, Pol Pot and Stalin all rolled into one (not condoning cheating at all but people can get over zealous on here).

-League tables are tracked as zealously as football leagues (even though they mean basically zilch).

-If someone posts that they got 6A* at A level, it's either true, or they got CEU and are currently crying into a pint of Cookie Dough ice cream.

-If you've had a drink, you're an alcoholic


-If you have ever had sex and you're a woman, you're a harlot/strumpet/wanton wench and you are forever spoiled


-If you go clubbing, you like putting it about


-If you're male, you're sexist


-If you don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend it's fine, I'm 100 and I met my husband two weeks ago


-If a girl has rejected you, they're all evil and we must have a centuries silence for our brother in the friendzone


-If a boy has rejected you, it's because you don't act like a harlot/strumpet/wanton woman


-If you have an A, you will never get into university. If you have a B you should take a long walk off a short cliff of your choice. There are no other grades


-You should be doing 20 A-levels and revising every waking hour. You only need four hours sleep to function, you puny student


-If it's not Oxbridge, it's not a university


-Didn't get into medicine? Do pharmacy, it's exactly the same (it is not)

-"Hey, I've got UUU at AS level, if I work unbelievably hard and like literally don't sleep or eat or breathe for the next year and resit everything while wearing my lucky socks can I get A*A*A and do medicine at Cambridge?"

-Beware if you are a guy who has not had 50,000 girlfriends. You are not 'alpha' enough.

-Don't post an 'Ask me anything' thread. People will a) Get annoyed and b) Take the 'anything' part literally

-The trolls are quickly dealt with by the mods...usually

-Clear your search history after procrastinating on TSR, you don't want anyone seeing the weird threads you have contributed to.

-If you see a post by thoyub (or the newest troll, NonBlackSprinter) run far, far away. Particularly if you are in possession of a vagina.

-Apparently every girl who goes within a 5-mile radius of a university or nightclub instantly strips down to her bootlaces, downs a pint of a luridly-coloured alcopop and starts gyrating on the nearest rhinestoned pole.

-DON'T TOUCH THE ISLAM THREADS.

-Mods are evil or God, depending on who you ask. Gofre is in love with Harry Styles, and subscribers spend too much time on TSR.

-Different opinions are outlawed.

-If you are morally liberal, bloody keep quiet or they'll lynch you.

So what you are saying if I ask for negative rep I will get positive rep?

If you post a meme, regardless of how funny or relevant, a mod will give you warning points

We really need to get some of the mods/staff/veterans on here...they'll have plenty of war stories.

Sadly we can't really go into specifics very much

Anyway...

If you don't agree with something a mod did, we'll be much more open to your argument if you don't hurl abuse at us in AAM

Not enough people know that if you get banned we'll let you use another account to ask about it or appeal provided you only use it to post in AAM or AASL.

Don't bother trying to use a dupe account to get around a ban and think we won't notice, we're quite good at finding them and you'll be banned for longer for trying it

Please consider the possibility that a large forum based around student life may have a more suitable forum to ask questions about pharmacology at Newcastle than "The Welcome Lounge".

No, the mods don't get paid.

Thanks for the info As for the 'dupe account' thing, what if my brother were to set up an account on my computer? Would that count as a dupe account, even though it's his?

Hello...anyone got the apk file for the student room app?
I can't access play store.