GF got all flustered whilst bumping into guy with me...need advice
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Original post by joey11223
Really? Yet another guy thing I fail at then. 
I suppose I'd be more likely to see she's cute/sweet, as it's what I'd be attracted to. But nah I've never commented on anyone, not even celebrities or movie stars, as I'm generally not attracted to them. I got told all about how awesome Taylor Lautner and his washboard abs were though, I got her a little desk flip calender where each month had a different abtastic photo haha.
I suppose I'd be more likely to see she's cute/sweet, as it's what I'd be attracted to. But nah I've never commented on anyone, not even celebrities or movie stars, as I'm generally not attracted to them. I got told all about how awesome Taylor Lautner and his washboard abs were though, I got her a little desk flip calender where each month had a different abtastic photo haha.
Just my personal opinion, but I'd be a lot more upset if my boyfriend described someone as cute/sweet than hot/fit! Just because the others sound more like you think she's your type for a relationship than just sexual attraction.
Cute/Sweet are bywords for freind -Zone no?
"Oh, Adam. Um, well, err, he's a really sweet guy..."
"Oh, Adam. Um, well, err, he's a really sweet guy..."
Original post by joker12345
Just my personal opinion, but I'd be a lot more upset if my boyfriend described someone as cute/sweet than hot/fit! Just because the others sound more like you think she's your type for a relationship than just sexual attraction.
Oh yeah I realise that, what I meant was I don't really look at girls and think "she's hot/sexy", so it's not something I'd really comment on. If I was pushed to comment on a girl, I'd be more likely to use language like they look sweet, kind, cute etc.
Original post by joker12345
I don't think that's true. I mean, if by attracted you mean consider people physically attractive then yes, but if you mean actually like them and want to do stuff with them but have to stop yourself, then I'd disagree.
I think both are possible. I know several people who've had a long-term crush and then get into a relationship, but the crush doesn't go away instantaneously because they've started dating someone else.
I think this is a lot more common than most people think. I think you need to talk/flirt with other girls NOT to make her jealous, but to make you realise your own value and ability to attract other women. Don't get stuck thinking she's the only girl who will ever want to be with you. Sometimes its hard to tell if she's got more than a 'crush' on this chump. A dead-giveaway is if you ask her a question in the presence of the guy she's 'crushing' on and she looks at him(even just a glance) when replying to you. I've seen this myself and about 8/10 times there's something going on.
Original post by paradoxicalme
I think both are possible. I know several people who've had a long-term crush and then get into a relationship, but the crush doesn't go away instantaneously because they've started dating someone else.
If they have a crush on someone else surely they shouldn't get into a relationship?
Anyway, I was more saying that getting crushes while already in a relationship doesn't seem right/normal to me.
Original post by joker12345
If they have a crush on someone else surely they shouldn't get into a relationship?
Anyway, I was more saying that getting crushes while already in a relationship doesn't seem right/normal to me.
Anyway, I was more saying that getting crushes while already in a relationship doesn't seem right/normal to me.
Sometimes you just have to accept that crushes will never come to fruition.
And I think that's more a grey area. I can imagine being attracted to someone else in a relationship, even imagining yourself in a relationship with them fleetingly...but a full-blown crush, I don't know.
Original post by royal1990
That's exactly what I was thinking directly after the incidence of seeing this guy. She was profusely telling me she loved me and kissing me. I thought maybe this was her trying to give me an indication that she loved me. Maybe there are genuine intentions, though, I also sometimes think she doesn't know herself. Thus her need to tell me she loves me over and over (after such an incident) as a way of self validating that she 'loves' me. But hey, maybe this is me over thinking again.
It would hurt more for me to find out she'd been lying to me that she does have feelings for me. But I almost expect it, oddly, I feel like I can't just walk away because I've invested a lot of time and energy/emotion into it. I mean, here begs the question, why would she stay with me for the "benefits of the relationship"? Looking back, the only need or want I can think of is the emotional closeness and the whole not being alone. Thus, her staying with me for those reasons..heck, that would be heartless to string me along.
Aside from the closeness thing, there isn't much else for her to string me along. It's not like I'm mega rich and I splash the cash. Sorry I feel like I'm going to drive people up the wall with my whiny attitude, but this situation is weighing on my mental health. Thanks for your post though it was thought provoking
That's exactly what I was thinking directly after the incidence of seeing this guy. She was profusely telling me she loved me and kissing me. I thought maybe this was her trying to give me an indication that she loved me. Maybe there are genuine intentions, though, I also sometimes think she doesn't know herself. Thus her need to tell me she loves me over and over (after such an incident) as a way of self validating that she 'loves' me. But hey, maybe this is me over thinking again.
It would hurt more for me to find out she'd been lying to me that she does have feelings for me. But I almost expect it, oddly, I feel like I can't just walk away because I've invested a lot of time and energy/emotion into it. I mean, here begs the question, why would she stay with me for the "benefits of the relationship"? Looking back, the only need or want I can think of is the emotional closeness and the whole not being alone. Thus, her staying with me for those reasons..heck, that would be heartless to string me along.
Aside from the closeness thing, there isn't much else for her to string me along. It's not like I'm mega rich and I splash the cash. Sorry I feel like I'm going to drive people up the wall with my whiny attitude, but this situation is weighing on my mental health. Thanks for your post though it was thought provoking
Being loved is a great feeling and she gets this from you plus you seem like a decent guy so there's the security of knowing you'd never do anything to hurt her etc. It's hard to imagine people can be that 'heartless' but it's more common than you think and it's the way a lot of people are these days, even those who are otherwise good people. I don't think she intends to string you along but she may not be being honest with herself about how she feels and like I said, it does take a lot of courage to break if off with someone when they haven't done anything wrong and you still care about them.
You don't necessarily seem like a paranoid or unconfident person per se, it seems more like you only this way because of the way she is around you. Instincts are a lot like your conscience, a built-in signalling system telling you when **** is wrong. And if you want to liken this relationship to an investment, wise people know when to pull out and stop ploughing on in vain hopes of it becoming fruitful
I'm glad my post made you think, because like I said I've seen it happen to guys and it always makes me feel bad that I can never help.
Original post by ForTheBroken
I think this is a lot more common than most people think. I think you need to talk/flirt with other girls NOT to make her jealous, but to make you realise your own value and ability to attract other women. Don't get stuck thinking she's the only girl who will ever want to be with you. Sometimes its hard to tell if she's got more than a 'crush' on this chump. A dead-giveaway is if you ask her a question in the presence of the guy she's 'crushing' on and she looks at him(even just a glance) when replying to you. I've seen this myself and about 8/10 times there's something going on.
Strongly agree.
Original post by KingStannis
If you do not bend the knee I shall destroy you.
But yeah, how can you find him tedious? He's like the most interesting character!
The impersonator of deontology in a world that only lends itself to grey and the colour of blood!
I am King Stannis Baratheon, and I always do my duty!
But yeah, how can you find him tedious? He's like the most interesting character!
The impersonator of deontology in a world that only lends itself to grey and the colour of blood!
I am King Stannis Baratheon, and I always do my duty!
He really isn't, he's just dull to read about, whereas Tyrion brightens every page he appears on.
Ts not like she pointed out in the street and went 'I'd tap that!' insensitively. She as also honest with you even though she feared hurting you (saying it regretfully/sheepishly)
You said it yourself, the problem is that you're insecure. Of course we're going to notice and be attracted to other people, it's not as if they automatically become ugly and repulsive just because we're in a relationship. She hasn't cheated on you. The point is she find Shia other guy attractive, was honest about it, denied herself selfish desire and said she wants YOU
I like my boyfriend being honest. I haven't got his balls under lock and key. I don't mind when he tells me about hot girls at work, I even feel glad for his self esteem boost if he tells me (similarly flustered as he is shy) that a cute girl noticed him. This is because I know he must be a keeper and looking at other girls will never change how much he loves me. I am not valued any less because he could also dump me for someone else but would never dream of it
Calm down. You are insecure. I think the only reason cheating upsets most people is because it hurts their ego as much as their heart (are they hotter/smarter/better in bed than me??!)
You said it yourself, the problem is that you're insecure. Of course we're going to notice and be attracted to other people, it's not as if they automatically become ugly and repulsive just because we're in a relationship. She hasn't cheated on you. The point is she find Shia other guy attractive, was honest about it, denied herself selfish desire and said she wants YOU
I like my boyfriend being honest. I haven't got his balls under lock and key. I don't mind when he tells me about hot girls at work, I even feel glad for his self esteem boost if he tells me (similarly flustered as he is shy) that a cute girl noticed him. This is because I know he must be a keeper and looking at other girls will never change how much he loves me. I am not valued any less because he could also dump me for someone else but would never dream of it
Calm down. You are insecure. I think the only reason cheating upsets most people is because it hurts their ego as much as their heart (are they hotter/smarter/better in bed than me??!)
Original post by royal1990
Hey all,
Basically as the title suggests me and my gf where out and we bumped into this guy she knows (he's a customer of hers- she has own business) and she was all 'flustered' and acted all coy, in the sorts of way a schoolgirl might when telling her mates about a boy she likes. I was a little bit intrigued about it, and immediately after they had there passing conversation of 'hey how're you' I asked her who he was.
She was a little hesitant, and said 'oh he's nobody' then I pushed more, I asked if he was an ex. To which she said no, he's one of my customers. I asked "do you fancy him" she says yes in a very regretful way. Then tells me "awww but Im with you, I love you" and later tells me "but he has a baby and gf" so it doesn't matter. Obviously implying that since he has a baby it's okay, and he's off limits for this reason, and I'm simply something shell make do with.
I went quiet whilst in thought, she basically suspected I was jealous (which I'm not going to lie, I was a tad irritated), but in her persistently asking it made me more so.
I then told her I can't stop her liking others, as a way of settling it and making my feelings known. She says "yes it's not like im married to you", which annoyed me because that implies that she can do as she likes so long as we're not married.
Yes, she can like others, can't help that it's human nature. But I feel like because we're in a relationship (of one year) she should be exclusively available to me (emotionally etc).
I just feel a little unworthy since she crushed on this guy, and I'm insecure in the fact she always points out hot guys to me tells me "oh he's fit/hot and I'd do him" etc. It bothers me, and i felt inadequate before I met her, it's bad enough. I get so angry with her...feel like a loose cannon. Any advice?
Basically as the title suggests me and my gf where out and we bumped into this guy she knows (he's a customer of hers- she has own business) and she was all 'flustered' and acted all coy, in the sorts of way a schoolgirl might when telling her mates about a boy she likes. I was a little bit intrigued about it, and immediately after they had there passing conversation of 'hey how're you' I asked her who he was.
She was a little hesitant, and said 'oh he's nobody' then I pushed more, I asked if he was an ex. To which she said no, he's one of my customers. I asked "do you fancy him" she says yes in a very regretful way. Then tells me "awww but Im with you, I love you" and later tells me "but he has a baby and gf" so it doesn't matter. Obviously implying that since he has a baby it's okay, and he's off limits for this reason, and I'm simply something shell make do with.
I went quiet whilst in thought, she basically suspected I was jealous (which I'm not going to lie, I was a tad irritated), but in her persistently asking it made me more so.
I then told her I can't stop her liking others, as a way of settling it and making my feelings known. She says "yes it's not like im married to you", which annoyed me because that implies that she can do as she likes so long as we're not married.
Yes, she can like others, can't help that it's human nature. But I feel like because we're in a relationship (of one year) she should be exclusively available to me (emotionally etc).
I just feel a little unworthy since she crushed on this guy, and I'm insecure in the fact she always points out hot guys to me tells me "oh he's fit/hot and I'd do him" etc. It bothers me, and i felt inadequate before I met her, it's bad enough. I get so angry with her...feel like a loose cannon. Any advice?
1) Its pretty cool she was honest about liking him and whatnot
2) "Its fine he has gf + baby" - She doesnt mean I would bone him everywhere if he was single, she is just trying to re assure you that even if he liked her too, he also has a partner / family etc
3) Your insecurity is gona drive this girl away.
Even though she told me she loves me she kept banging on about it to her mum on way home. Saying to her mother "oh but he's not married to her". Her mother responds "yes but a baby is enough of a deal"....my gf making out she would/could just get with him because they not wed etc which pissed me off
Whaaatt?
Gotta be trolling otherwise MOTHEROFGOD GIFJIF
Original post by Little Wolf Taima
Ts not like she pointed out in the street and went 'I'd tap that!' insensitively.
Ummm, not with that guy specifically but:
Original post by royal1990
I'm insecure in the fact she always points out hot guys to me tells me "oh he's fit/hot and I'd do him" etc.
Original post by Foo.mp3
...
PRSOM
I cannot believe some people are actually justifying OP's girlfriend's actions. Yes, it's one thing to be completely honest to OP and I can appreciate that people still can find others attractive despite being in a relationship but some of the things OP's girlfriend has said to him makes her sound like a ****ing callous moron. OP's clearly unhappy in the relationship, his girlfriend is frothing for some other guy's dick and would be on it if he didn't have a girlfriend/ baby and clearly doesn't give a **** about OP, the relationship's hardly healthy. End it.
(edited 10 years ago)
he whole 'i want proof' thing, about her "****ing" me (supposedly by your assumption) well...she actually isn't because she doesn't believe in sex before marriage. So in actual fact she isn't having sex with me, although she is still with me
ohhh laawwwddyy!
Ok, pardon me, I'm dyslexic... Didn't see the part where she does point guys out and say 'I'd do him'. She need Sri understand she can't do this if it upsets you and if she's joking it's not funny. Its kind of different with my boyfriend. We'll be watching a movie and he'll say he would like to bang x actress (I often agree) but I'm ok because he's with me, not her, but he wouldn't do it if I expressed a dislike for it. Be straight with her that it upsets you and dump her if she can't keep her mouth shut for your sake. I understand if it feels like she notices everyone but you. Sorry x
Funnily enough, I was in the exact same situation when my ex (Was in a relationship with her a year and a half ago) bumped into her ex (Seems complicated already ). We were in a year long relationship but throughout the relationship when we used to go out she'd point out other men. At first I used to laugh it off but then it became annoying. Plus she started to become shallow and I struggled to hold conversations with her and she kept repeatedly annoying me. For example when she was busy and I wanted to speak or be with her she'd say no which was understandable. However, when I was busy and she wanted to talk and when I simply said no they'd make it into a huge argument. Even a few days before my AS level exams she'd want to hang out and talk and it fully disrupted my education leading to me achieving DDE 
. She used to persuade me to bunk off college and spend time with her 
I was really clingy to her even though I knew the relationship was falling apart. This was due to the fact that I had put so much emotion/energy into the relationship as you had stated in yours. But, I managed to gather courage and break up with her. Yeah the first few weeks were hell as I kept thinking about her but after a few months (Around December) I met my current girlfriend. Shes amazing and I love her loads and my life turned around as I achieved ABB in my Alevel exams and everything just felt amazing. I recently met my ex and she kept raving on about the good times we had together. Eventually she told me that she regrets that we had to break up and wanted me back to which I obviously said no . So what im trying to say from my experience is, if your scared of letting her go, then yes its natural to feel that but if you have come to a point where it feels like its no longer working then its best for you to let her go. Another amazing girl will enter your life again!
). We were in a year long relationship but throughout the relationship when we used to go out she'd point out other men. At first I used to laugh it off but then it became annoying. Plus she started to become shallow and I struggled to hold conversations with her and she kept repeatedly annoying me. For example when she was busy and I wanted to speak or be with her she'd say no which was understandable. However, when I was busy and she wanted to talk and when I simply said no they'd make it into a huge argument. Even a few days before my AS level exams she'd want to hang out and talk and it fully disrupted my education leading to me achieving DDE . She used to persuade me to bunk off college and spend time with her I was really clingy to her even though I knew the relationship was falling apart. This was due to the fact that I had put so much emotion/energy into the relationship as you had stated in yours. But, I managed to gather courage and break up with her. Yeah the first few weeks were hell as I kept thinking about her but after a few months (Around December) I met my current girlfriend. Shes amazing and I love her loads and my life turned around as I achieved ABB in my Alevel exams and everything just felt amazing. I recently met my ex and she kept raving on about the good times we had together. Eventually she told me that she regrets that we had to break up and wanted me back to which I obviously said no . So what im trying to say from my experience is, if your scared of letting her go, then yes its natural to feel that but if you have come to a point where it feels like its no longer working then its best for you to let her go. Another amazing girl will enter your life again! Original post by aspirinpharmacist
He really isn't, he's just dull to read about, whereas Tyrion brightens every page he appears on.
You don't understand the complexity of his character.
He is epic.
Dude are you serious she points out guys and says 'I'd do him?' wtf! Like you say a guy checks out girls and vice versa but that's done discreetly not in your face kind of thing. Either she's doing it to make you jealous or she's a right whore. She should be considering your feelings? I'd talk to her about it and tell her to stop or you're better of with somebody who loves you and wants to be with you, and only you!
Original post by KingStannis
Cute/Sweet are bywords for freind -Zone no?
"Oh, Adam. Um, well, err, he's a really sweet guy..."
"Oh, Adam. Um, well, err, he's a really sweet guy..."
Incorrect. Well it depends how a female phrases it. If its phrased like how you put it then it equals friend zone or just simply not interested at all but doesn't want to be a bitch about it.
If a girl calls a guy hot it means she can imagine having sex with him.
If a girl calls a guy cute i means she can imagine being in a relationship with him and probably has thought about it.
Example: My ex-girlfriend pointed out that the dimples (i think thats the word) that form on my face when I smile is what attracted her to me in the first place. She said they were the cutest thing she'd ever seen which usually resulted in cuddles which led to sex.
If a girl calls a guy a challenge then he's in there.
(edited 10 years ago)
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