Is this guy playing me??
We met on a night out 2 and a bit weeks ago...chemistry was over the roof - we kissed, swapped numbers.
The next day, he gave me a call, and we met that evening...I'm sorry to say that we slept together, but the next day he called to make plans to go walk around town one day + go to the cinema another.
Both these things happened over the course of the next week and we had an amazing time...After the cinema I stayed over at his house and came home beaming because I'd had such a great time
The day after that I text him to tell him I had a great time and asked him if he wanted to meet up...he said he wouldn't finish work in time - I gave him an alternative and he only text the next day saying he would have loved to come out but that he really couldn't drink during the week etc.
Now, this guy has always taken a bit of time to reply and so I waited a day before asking him if he wanted to meet up again - he replied 2 days later saying yes, and asking me if I could join his mates + him that night, I replied briefly thereafter saying I couldn't but suggested we do something Tuesday/Wed instead.
...2 days have passed and no news. Tomorrow is Tuesday.
What do I do?? I found his fb but don't know whether to add him (and look desperate)...or if I should call him...or whether I should just let this go because he could call me if he wanted and he clearly can't be arsed to!
Thanks a lot x
The next day, he gave me a call, and we met that evening...I'm sorry to say that we slept together, but the next day he called to make plans to go walk around town one day + go to the cinema another.
Both these things happened over the course of the next week and we had an amazing time...After the cinema I stayed over at his house and came home beaming because I'd had such a great time
The day after that I text him to tell him I had a great time and asked him if he wanted to meet up...he said he wouldn't finish work in time - I gave him an alternative and he only text the next day saying he would have loved to come out but that he really couldn't drink during the week etc.
Now, this guy has always taken a bit of time to reply and so I waited a day before asking him if he wanted to meet up again - he replied 2 days later saying yes, and asking me if I could join his mates + him that night, I replied briefly thereafter saying I couldn't but suggested we do something Tuesday/Wed instead.
...2 days have passed and no news. Tomorrow is Tuesday.
What do I do?? I found his fb but don't know whether to add him (and look desperate)...or if I should call him...or whether I should just let this go because he could call me if he wanted and he clearly can't be arsed to!
Thanks a lot x
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I feel this pain alot.
i hate to say it, but if he really wanted to meet with you, he would do it and organise it.
then again, mayb im wrong, text him, whats the worst?
i hate to say it, but if he really wanted to meet with you, he would do it and organise it.
then again, mayb im wrong, text him, whats the worst?
I stopped reading at. "Slept together"
Phone him/text him and if he doesn't reply, you've been plaaaaayed.
Phone him/text him and if he doesn't reply, you've been plaaaaayed.
Yeah i know how you feel!
Its true if he wanted to meet you he would have texted you back!
Not a nice feeling but it was clearly a one off thing,best thing is not to be too bothered about it and just continue on with what ever it is you do. Do things you enjoy then eventually you'll be fine!
Its true if he wanted to meet you he would have texted you back!
Not a nice feeling but it was clearly a one off thing,best thing is not to be too bothered about it and just continue on with what ever it is you do. Do things you enjoy then eventually you'll be fine!
This is why dating is so horrible. Honestly, if he wanted to see you then he would call you 
Try calling him again and if you hear nothing back for a while then I'm afraid that you will have to give up, sorry.
Try calling him again and if you hear nothing back for a while then I'm afraid that you will have to give up, sorry.
Thank you so very very much for the advice guys... you have all been great.
Re: my situation: still no text. Feel like whacking my head against a brick wall/calling, but I guess it'd be of no use - I don't exactly want to force him to make contact with me if he doesn't want to.
Back to square 1. How very unfortunate!
Also, can I add that I actually agree with Apocrypha...I have slept with all my previous long-term boyfriends early on and they all stuck around for years. I just act with genuine passion and then what happens happens I suppose.
I am sad but I'll get over it
Re: my situation: still no text. Feel like whacking my head against a brick wall/calling, but I guess it'd be of no use - I don't exactly want to force him to make contact with me if he doesn't want to.
Back to square 1. How very unfortunate!
Also, can I add that I actually agree with Apocrypha...I have slept with all my previous long-term boyfriends early on and they all stuck around for years. I just act with genuine passion and then what happens happens I suppose.
I am sad but I'll get over it
Original post by arkhamz
How do girls not pick up on this sort of thing instantly?
You can't pick up on it 'instantly' unless you're tremendously cynical, I think. I wear my heart on my sleeve and like to think other people do to.. I guess there's an element of denial in there as well. We shared some beautiful moments together and you think 'it couldn't possibly end here!'.
Thank you so much for the encouragement everyone. I almost called him and then re-read what you all wrote and decided not to.
I'll let you know if he texts in the next few days, but even if he does, I guess there's not much point having his number saved on my phone.
Poo
Original post by arkhamz
How do girls not pick up on this sort of thing instantly?
Mind boggling..yes OP I'm afraid you probably have, you said you slept with him the next day, so he already got what he was after and most likely only took you out to the cinema /for a walk out of guilt because he could tell you expected more. Since you've already slept together and he's not chasing you he's either got no incentive or there was no relationship type attraction/spark, sorry
Original post by Anonymous
We met on a night out 2 and a bit weeks ago...chemistry was over the roof - we kissed, swapped numbers.
The next day, he gave me a call, and we met that evening...I'm sorry to say that we slept together, but the next day he called to make plans to go walk around town one day + go to the cinema another.
Both these things happened over the course of the next week and we had an amazing time...After the cinema I stayed over at his house and came home beaming because I'd had such a great time
The day after that I text him to tell him I had a great time and asked him if he wanted to meet up...he said he wouldn't finish work in time - I gave him an alternative and he only text the next day saying he would have loved to come out but that he really couldn't drink during the week etc.
Now, this guy has always taken a bit of time to reply and so I waited a day before asking him if he wanted to meet up again - he replied 2 days later saying yes, and asking me if I could join his mates + him that night, I replied briefly thereafter saying I couldn't but suggested we do something Tuesday/Wed instead.
...2 days have passed and no news. Tomorrow is Tuesday.
What do I do?? I found his fb but don't know whether to add him (and look desperate)...or if I should call him...or whether I should just let this go because he could call me if he wanted and he clearly can't be arsed to!
Thanks a lot x
The next day, he gave me a call, and we met that evening...I'm sorry to say that we slept together, but the next day he called to make plans to go walk around town one day + go to the cinema another.
Both these things happened over the course of the next week and we had an amazing time...After the cinema I stayed over at his house and came home beaming because I'd had such a great time
The day after that I text him to tell him I had a great time and asked him if he wanted to meet up...he said he wouldn't finish work in time - I gave him an alternative and he only text the next day saying he would have loved to come out but that he really couldn't drink during the week etc.
Now, this guy has always taken a bit of time to reply and so I waited a day before asking him if he wanted to meet up again - he replied 2 days later saying yes, and asking me if I could join his mates + him that night, I replied briefly thereafter saying I couldn't but suggested we do something Tuesday/Wed instead.
...2 days have passed and no news. Tomorrow is Tuesday.
What do I do?? I found his fb but don't know whether to add him (and look desperate)...or if I should call him...or whether I should just let this go because he could call me if he wanted and he clearly can't be arsed to!
Thanks a lot x
Three basic rules...
1. If he wanted to meet with you, he'd try to make that happen. Men don't really do the whole 'playing hard to get' thing. If he likes you, he will contact you.
2. Don't start adding him on FB and continuously messaging him, because yes it will make you look desperate.
3. Unfortunately (I'm genuinely not judging you for this) you slept with him on the first date. There's now a high chance he may see you as an 'easy lay'. So it could be he only wants to meet up/contact you when he wants sex.
Original post by Vikki1805
Three basic rules...
1. If he wanted to meet with you, he'd try to make that happen. Men don't really do the whole 'playing hard to get' thing. If he likes you, he will contact you.
2. Don't start adding him on FB and continuously messaging him, because yes it will make you look desperate.
3. Unfortunately (I'm genuinely not judging you for this) you slept with him on the first date. There's now a high chance he may see you as an 'easy lay'. So it could be he only wants to meet up/contact you when he wants sex.
1. If he wanted to meet with you, he'd try to make that happen. Men don't really do the whole 'playing hard to get' thing. If he likes you, he will contact you.
2. Don't start adding him on FB and continuously messaging him, because yes it will make you look desperate.
3. Unfortunately (I'm genuinely not judging you for this) you slept with him on the first date. There's now a high chance he may see you as an 'easy lay'. So it could be he only wants to meet up/contact you when he wants sex.
Agree with these, and as an addition to number 3 I can confirm that does make me think of a girl as easy if she seems up for it on the first date, depends how much you like her though obviously and isn't the same for all guys, but it definitely causes you to make a judgement about them.
This is doing wonders for my self esteem
Maybe I'll wait next time...can't help but think that he would have disappeared anyway though :/
Maybe I'll wait next time...can't help but think that he would have disappeared anyway though :/
Original post by arkhamz
How do girls not pick up on this sort of thing instantly?
Because it is nasty behaviour to play somebody like that, and a lot of girls like to give the benefit of the doubt. I'd rather believe that someone is a nice guy who got tied up with work and got busy, rather than instantly thinking that all he was after was sex and now I'll never see him again.
Original post by Vikki1805
3. Unfortunately (I'm genuinely not judging you for this) you slept with him on the first date. There's now a high chance he may see you as an 'easy lay'. So it could be he only wants to meet up/contact you when he wants sex.
3. Unfortunately (I'm genuinely not judging you for this) you slept with him on the first date. There's now a high chance he may see you as an 'easy lay'. So it could be he only wants to meet up/contact you when he wants sex.
I don't know about this. There are a lot if instances where sleeping together on the first date works out for the best - granted, a lot of these times are when the two on the date have been friends in the past and are now taking it to another level.
On a more anecdotal level, I slept with my boyfriend the second time I ever met him. I'm not a slut and don't tend to throw it around, but the timing felt right and we started out as "f*ck buddies". Over the next couple months, the friendship evolved to a relationship and this happened because we chose to have sex early on. We both knew that sex was important in our lives, and we weren't trying to hide the fact that we were attracted to each other. We would have never started dating had we not had sex shortly after meeting simply because sex brought us closer together. We're still together almost two years later and plan on getting married in a couple years. Obviously this sort of thing doesn't work for everyone, but having sex on the first date doesn't automatically say that it was just an "easy lay" and that the relationship won't work.
I wouldn't write off sex on the first date, but wouldn't force myself to have sex on the first date. It should happen naturally, regardless of how early on that is.
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