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Are they actually my friends?

Hey! just wondering if you can give me some views on this. Basically I've been hanging out with these group of people for a year. Don't think I'm actually in the group as I don't hang out with them as much as they do with each other. I'm really not sure if they are actually "friends". I mean they are great people mind you and everytime I go out with them I have a great time and you know do what normal "friends" woould do. However, I do feel that because its a group and I only know about 4 of them out of loads of people, I just think Im always left out. They don't really invite me when they have a big group gathering just when its just the 4 of them, or at least when they remember me. I mean I feel that they always forget to ask me to go out i.e. they go out at about 7 and they text me at 11 expecting me to go out with them which is really weird. So is it worthy hanging out with them waiting for there text just to go out or should i just find new friends?

Reply 1

thegreatstupendo

Why not organise a big group gathering and invite them all, that way they'll think to inite you in the future, and you'll have a good time.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

I did! yet somehow i ended up being the last one to know! They ALWAYS forget about me. well I must give them credit for remembering at the last minute.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I'm just wondering, should i just tell them straight away that I am ****ing pissed of the fact that they always forget to ask me out? is it to girly to do this though?

Reply 4

thegreatstupendo

If a lot of them don't know you too well, they may assume that you have other friends you're going out with, or that, because you're never out with them, you don't want to (they assume someone else has asked you).

Just get the ones who do invite you to things to invite you more often, and it'll get better, as the ones who don't know you as well will start to see you more as one of the group.

Reply 5

sleepy_person!

Anonymous

I'm just wondering, should i just tell them straight away that I am ****ing pissed of the fact that they always forget to ask me out? is it to girly to do this though?

Maybe I wouldn't do that. As someone's already said, they probably just assume you have other friends and don't think that you consider them your core group of friends, therefore if you suddenly act really annoyed a pissed off and tell them how cross you are they'll probably be like "woooahh chill for a second!"
So maybe instead of telling them to include you, you can just randomly say things like 'oh I'm bored, lets go out tonight..' when you are with just a few of them, gradualy tag along to more things, get closer to a few more of them, just work your way in a bit. You don't want to be known as the person that once threw that huge hissy fit at them! :biggrin:

good luck! xx

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

you know what! to hell with them! gonna find miself new friends at uni!

Reply 7

sleepy_person!

Good for you!! They're supposed to be the friends you make for life really anyway (uni firends), a lot of people lose contact with their school friends I think

Reply 8

wendizzle22

To have a great friendship it's a two-way thing - you can't expect them to always tell you if you never ask them. Maybe they think you never want to ring or text them so aren't tha bothered. I'd suggest that on an evening you're free to go out, just ring one of them and ask if they're going anywhere. They'll tell you their plans straight away, or if they don't have any yet they'll probably make them with you. Easy!