Why does every guy choose my friend over me?

My friend has this thing where she goes after every guy I'm talking to or who likes me. They start by having interest in me and asking me out, then she'll talk to them for a while and they always end up losing interest in me and choosing her over me. Then she rubs it in my face.

Why does this keep happening? Why does every guy who likes me initially choose my friend over me? It's always the same friend.

Reply 1

ageshallnot

21

Original post by eh4e19

My friend has this thing where she goes after every guy I'm talking to or who likes me. They start by having interest in me and asking me out, then she'll talk to them for a while and they always end up losing interest in me and choosing her over me. Then she rubs it in my face.

Why does this keep happening? Why does every guy who likes me initially choose my friend over me? It's always the same friend.

"My ex-friend had this thing..."

Reply 2

Surnia

20

How does your friend know every guy you are talking to? Do you conduct your entire dating life in public and point them all out to her?

Are you bothered about losing guys who are that fickle?

Why is she your friend?

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Most people have a mate that tends to get more attention and it has upsides and downsides. From the behaviour you describe though I would seriously review the friendship

Reply 4

Ghostlady

21

If she rubs it in your face, i'd ditch the friend. Solving two problems then.

1.

you are not with a person who likes to treat you like that

2.

you are now free to date without little miss attention seeker waiting in the wings to snatch him.

Reply 5

CH1LLYD0GG

I think you are using the word friend wrong. Friends do do this to other friends.

For weak minded people it is easy to be flattered and turn their heads. This is what your "friend" is doing to the men you meet.

You just keep being you, but make better choices of who to let into your life.

Reply 6

Bishsaint

1

Original post by eh4e19

My friend has this thing where she goes after every guy I'm talking to or who likes me. They start by having interest in me and asking me out, then she'll talk to them for a while and they always end up losing interest in me and choosing her over me. Then she rubs it in my face.

Why does this keep happening? Why does every guy who likes me initially choose my friend over me? It's always the same friend.

My friend been doing the same. This is third time this is happening. What should I do?

Reply 7

EmilyJade24

9

It's universal known, even if most are unable to face up to the fact, that men seek out those who are more submissive due to their need to dominate. Males have an unconscious bias towards females which appear, on the surface, powerful and successful. Thus meaning they will seek out any preserved weakness in order to coerce who they preserve weak into acts for their own gratification. Your friend due to one reason or another may unfortunately be targeted by a similar type of man and due to the fact you may very well portray yourself, even unknowingly, as a strong powerful woman, this may deter those who would ordinarily seek to subjugate you into a relationship solely at service to a man who wishes to take advantage of you for his own egoistically gain.

Most males nowadays would like nothing more than to live in a world similar to that of the handmaids tale and due to the society we now live in being moulded by the ideas of controlling and abusive males, women are being engineered into believing that 'rejection' over a friend or close acquaint is somehow negative, no, it's an exercise of weakness seeking by males who may not even know themselves that they are seeking, due to their unconscious bias, a woman who will serve them.

Reply 8

eh4e19

OP

4

Original post by Bishsaint

My friend been doing the same. This is third time this is happening. What should I do?

I would say let go of this friend of yours-- they aren't a true friend and don't have friendship feelings for you.

I let go of mine since I first posted this thread and my life is so much better because of it!

Reply 9

eh4e19

OP

4

Original post by Zarek

Most people have a mate that tends to get more attention and it has upsides and downsides. From the behaviour you describe though I would seriously review the friendship

I actually think this behaviour from her (she's now an ex friend) was because she felt I got more attention out of us two. I do get attention initially, but I think because she's so charming and outgoing she gets along with guys better than I do.

I did drop her, thank you! I feel much better without this looming over my life.

(edited 2 months ago)

Reply 10

eh4e19

OP

4

Original post by Surnia

How does your friend know every guy you are talking to? Do you conduct your entire dating life in public and point them all out to her?

Are you bothered about losing guys who are that fickle?

Why is she your friend?

I know this is late but

•

She knew who I was talking to because our friend group gossiped about it. I would tell a close friend and like Chinese whispers, it would get round to her eventually.

•

I didn't publicise my dating life, but she would find out

•

Very true, in a way it showed who wasn't worth it anyways. It showed who was truly for me. She was a test.

•

She was my "friend" because we were in the same social circle at Uni. I don't think, looking back, that she was ever a true friend though. In fact I reckon she actively disliked me. You don't do things like this to your actual friends.

But this is all post-mortem as we're no longer friends. I ended up blocking her on everything actually. She ended up doing worse things later in our friendship that showed how much she wasn't my friend.

So if anyone reading this has a friend who does the same thing, please know that people like this don't like you and will probably do worse things if you stay in a friendship with them.

Reply 11

Surnia

20

Original post by eh4e19

I know this is late but

•

She knew who I was talking to because our friend group gossiped about it. I would tell a close friend and like Chinese whispers, it would get round to her eventually.

•

I didn't publicise my dating life, but she would find out

•

Very true, in a way it showed who wasn't worth it anyways. It showed who was truly for me. She was a test.

•

She was my "friend" because we were in the same social circle at Uni. I don't think, looking back, that she was ever a true friend though. In fact I reckon she actively disliked me. You don't do things like this to your actual friends.

But this is all post-mortem as we're no longer friends. I ended up blocking her on everything actually. She ended up doing worse things later in our friendship that showed how much she wasn't my friend.

So if anyone reading this has a friend who does the same thing, please know that people like this don't like you and will probably do worse things if you stay in a friendship with them.

Sometimes friends can become a habit; you excuse the bad because you want someone around for the good bits they provide. So kudos to you for ditching her, and I hope you've still retained your social circle to have other friends around you!

Why does every guy choose my friend over me?

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