Feeling down before Christmas

Last year my gran passed away just before Christmas. It had been a very tough few months for her and although I was relieved to see her suffering end, it hit me very hard. She was the person in my family that I knew would always understand me, my ambitions and the choices I made/make. Now with Christmas coming up (and travelling home for the holidays) all these emotions have came back.

Anyone else delt with stuff like this. I need some tips for getting through this christmas and how long did this last?

Reply 1

Robbie242

stick on the Christmas playlist

that's my advice

Reply 2

Where'sPerry?

16

I'm so sorry to hear that, OP. My grandad died around this time too so I understand what you're going through. Will you be seeing your family at Christmas? And are you especially close to any of them? Don't be afraid to talk to them about how you are feeling. Chances are, they will be feeling similarly to you and will open up once the conversation has been started. However, if you feel like it's too soon to actually talk about your grandma herself, then don't - it's been 9 years since my grandad passed and we still don't play any of his favourite songs around this time. It really upsets my nan too much.

Wishing you the best for this difficult time, I hope you have a nice Christmas :hugs:

Reply 3

.:Twilight:.

11

Original post by Anonymous

Last year my gran passed away just before Christmas. It had been a very tough few months for her and although I was relieved to see her suffering end, it hit me very hard. She was the person in my family that I knew would always understand me, my ambitions and the choices I made/make. Now with Christmas coming up (and travelling home for the holidays) all these emotions have came back.

Anyone else delt with stuff like this. I need some tips for getting through this christmas and how long did this last?

Do you want to face how you are feeling or do you want to get away from it for the holidays?

I'm sorry :frown:

Reply 4

Llewellyn

14

Original post by Anonymous

Last year my gran passed away just before Christmas. It had been a very tough few months for her and although I was relieved to see her suffering end, it hit me very hard. She was the person in my family that I knew would always understand me, my ambitions and the choices I made/make. Now with Christmas coming up (and travelling home for the holidays) all these emotions have came back.

Anyone else delt with stuff like this. I need some tips for getting through this christmas and how long did this last?

I'm sorry to hear this, it's amazing to have a connection like you did with your gran. :smile:

Simply put; it's tough. And it takes time to get over it enough to the point where you actually feel under control (you will always get upset unfortunately, or at least that was my experience having lost both parents). There's a lot of different things different people do. I think it's really important to have emotional support; either friends or family or both or even just someone you feel you can confide in. Dealing with it alone was the worst mistake I made. Likewise distractions can help short term. Trying to think of things in a more positive light is something I hear a lot. But maybe what's most important is just to be your own best friend here. So if you get really upset then just recognise that it's natural and it's totally fine to be upset, so long as you are able to keep yourself in the moment.

I totally understand the memory cycle though. There are certain songs, movies, places and objects that I avoid simply because I always get really upset due to memory association. It's really tough to have this associated to Christmas; so maybe it's best to try and make more happy memories, and remember that if your gran could tell you anything she'd probably tell you not to get so caught up on things out of your control and just enjoy Christmas whilst you can.

But to summarise; don't beat yourself up for not getting over this in just 1 year. And I'd recommend looking up some advice from others. I don't think my story is particularly useful because in hindsight I think I did everything wrong and made it worse for myself.

Feeling down before Christmas

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