I don't think I like him as much as he likes me.
Basically, I have known this guy for a couple of years now from out of school (we are in sixth form). Let's call him Toby for the sake of this post. We do are both members of our local theatre group and we were cast in the lead roles of Danny and sandy in grease. We had really only just met then but after our performance everyone was going on about how cute we were together and how much chemistry we had. I put it down to the fact that we are good actors but everyone kept saying we should date!
Since then he flirts with me often and I do the same to him, just thinking we would remain friends and nothing more.
Then he asked me out on a date which was good and I got to know him a bit more. He isn't super hot and I don't really feel any attraction towards him to be honest, but when he flirts with me I enjoy it. However I am the kind of girl who flirts with a lot of boys just in a friendly way... Anyway we went out on a second date but still there was no holding hands or anything romantic which I was glad about because I knew I wasn't feeling enough towards him to be able to initiate romance. The thing with me is I get on well with guys more easily than I do with girls so the thought of a guy asking me out to town is something I would do with people I knew I wanted to just be friends with. I don't see what's wrong with going out with people as friends but apparently Toby had other plans.
All the times he asked me out I wasn't sure if the were actual dates although when he offered to pay the first time it became obvious that was what he wanted.
So in total I have been on two dates with him and I had a party last week where I invited him as a friend. Of course after having some drink we both became more relaxed and I was being quite friendly and stuff with him, sitting on his lap etc but no kissing. I think he took this as a sign as he then asked me to go out again as he needed to tell me something. But yet again I would act this way with guys I just see as friends because I am like that, however he seemed to interpret it differently.
I agreed to meet up and I know what he wants to say. He is probably going to ask if I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend but I really don't know if I am ready for that. I have only been on two dates with him and although you may think I have been leading him on, I haven't acted in a romantic way towards him at all. I used those two dates to see if he was the kind of guy I wanted to be with but to be honest I just don't think he is. He has a nice personality, he can sometimes be a bit pretentious but all in all he is decent. But I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction towards him and I think that's partly down to his looks. He isn't that good looking and I do think looks should play some part in a relationship.
So I don't know what to say to him when he asks me. I just don't think I am ready for a relationship with anyone I be honest. I have my a levels coming up with I need to do well in and in all honesty, I think the people at my theatre group built this up to be something more than it is just because of our performance in grease! I was only acting!
How do if let him know I'm not reay for a relationship with him? Also should I mention that I only see him as a friend or not? He is going to uni next year and we won't see each other so I can't see it working.
Thank you
Since then he flirts with me often and I do the same to him, just thinking we would remain friends and nothing more.
Then he asked me out on a date which was good and I got to know him a bit more. He isn't super hot and I don't really feel any attraction towards him to be honest, but when he flirts with me I enjoy it. However I am the kind of girl who flirts with a lot of boys just in a friendly way... Anyway we went out on a second date but still there was no holding hands or anything romantic which I was glad about because I knew I wasn't feeling enough towards him to be able to initiate romance. The thing with me is I get on well with guys more easily than I do with girls so the thought of a guy asking me out to town is something I would do with people I knew I wanted to just be friends with. I don't see what's wrong with going out with people as friends but apparently Toby had other plans.
All the times he asked me out I wasn't sure if the were actual dates although when he offered to pay the first time it became obvious that was what he wanted.
So in total I have been on two dates with him and I had a party last week where I invited him as a friend. Of course after having some drink we both became more relaxed and I was being quite friendly and stuff with him, sitting on his lap etc but no kissing. I think he took this as a sign as he then asked me to go out again as he needed to tell me something. But yet again I would act this way with guys I just see as friends because I am like that, however he seemed to interpret it differently.
I agreed to meet up and I know what he wants to say. He is probably going to ask if I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend but I really don't know if I am ready for that. I have only been on two dates with him and although you may think I have been leading him on, I haven't acted in a romantic way towards him at all. I used those two dates to see if he was the kind of guy I wanted to be with but to be honest I just don't think he is. He has a nice personality, he can sometimes be a bit pretentious but all in all he is decent. But I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction towards him and I think that's partly down to his looks. He isn't that good looking and I do think looks should play some part in a relationship.
So I don't know what to say to him when he asks me. I just don't think I am ready for a relationship with anyone I be honest. I have my a levels coming up with I need to do well in and in all honesty, I think the people at my theatre group built this up to be something more than it is just because of our performance in grease! I was only acting!
How do if let him know I'm not reay for a relationship with him? Also should I mention that I only see him as a friend or not? He is going to uni next year and we won't see each other so I can't see it working.
Thank you
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So you went on two dates with him, flirt with him constantly and sit on his lap at parties? Well you can hardly blame him for thinking you were showing him the signs.
Having similar problem. If I was brave I would just kiss him and see if you felt any chemistry the. Think Monica and that rich guy on friends... But I'm not that brave, you might be though???
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
I think it's time to be honest. Otherwise you'd just be messing him around even more. It's much easier (even if it might not be easier to hear it at the time) to hear the truth and move on.
Personally I prefer bluntness, but I'd suggest whatever tact you feel is appropriate (you know him better than me), as long as he actually gets the message. Most people aren't very good at reading minds/vague signals/other peoples' interpretations of situations.
Personally I prefer bluntness, but I'd suggest whatever tact you feel is appropriate (you know him better than me), as long as he actually gets the message. Most people aren't very good at reading minds/vague signals/other peoples' interpretations of situations.
Give him a chance for a couple of weeks
How do you know he's even going to ask for a relationship? High horse much.
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, I have known this guy for a couple of years now from out of school (we are in sixth form). Let's call him Toby for the sake of this post. We do are both members of our local theatre group and we were cast in the lead roles of Danny and sandy in grease. We had really only just met then but after our performance everyone was going on about how cute we were together and how much chemistry we had. I put it down to the fact that we are good actors but everyone kept saying we should date!
Since then he flirts with me often and I do the same to him, just thinking we would remain friends and nothing more.
Then he asked me out on a date which was good and I got to know him a bit more. He isn't super hot and I don't really feel any attraction towards him to be honest, but when he flirts with me I enjoy it. However I am the kind of girl who flirts with a lot of boys just in a friendly way... Anyway we went out on a second date but still there was no holding hands or anything romantic which I was glad about because I knew I wasn't feeling enough towards him to be able to initiate romance. The thing with me is I get on well with guys more easily than I do with girls so the thought of a guy asking me out to town is something I would do with people I knew I wanted to just be friends with. I don't see what's wrong with going out with people as friends but apparently Toby had other plans.
All the times he asked me out I wasn't sure if the were actual dates although when he offered to pay the first time it became obvious that was what he wanted.
So in total I have been on two dates with him and I had a party last week where I invited him as a friend. Of course after having some drink we both became more relaxed and I was being quite friendly and stuff with him, sitting on his lap etc but no kissing. I think he took this as a sign as he then asked me to go out again as he needed to tell me something. But yet again I would act this way with guys I just see as friends because I am like that, however he seemed to interpret it differently.
I agreed to meet up and I know what he wants to say. He is probably going to ask if I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend but I really don't know if I am ready for that. I have only been on two dates with him and although you may think I have been leading him on, I haven't acted in a romantic way towards him at all. I used those two dates to see if he was the kind of guy I wanted to be with but to be honest I just don't think he is. He has a nice personality, he can sometimes be a bit pretentious but all in all he is decent. But I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction towards him and I think that's partly down to his looks. He isn't that good looking and I do think looks should play some part in a relationship.
So I don't know what to say to him when he asks me. I just don't think I am ready for a relationship with anyone I be honest. I have my a levels coming up with I need to do well in and in all honesty, I think the people at my theatre group built this up to be something more than it is just because of our performance in grease! I was only acting!
How do if let him know I'm not reay for a relationship with him? Also should I mention that I only see him as a friend or not? He is going to uni next year and we won't see each other so I can't see it working.
Thank you
Since then he flirts with me often and I do the same to him, just thinking we would remain friends and nothing more.
Then he asked me out on a date which was good and I got to know him a bit more. He isn't super hot and I don't really feel any attraction towards him to be honest, but when he flirts with me I enjoy it. However I am the kind of girl who flirts with a lot of boys just in a friendly way... Anyway we went out on a second date but still there was no holding hands or anything romantic which I was glad about because I knew I wasn't feeling enough towards him to be able to initiate romance. The thing with me is I get on well with guys more easily than I do with girls so the thought of a guy asking me out to town is something I would do with people I knew I wanted to just be friends with. I don't see what's wrong with going out with people as friends but apparently Toby had other plans.
All the times he asked me out I wasn't sure if the were actual dates although when he offered to pay the first time it became obvious that was what he wanted.
So in total I have been on two dates with him and I had a party last week where I invited him as a friend. Of course after having some drink we both became more relaxed and I was being quite friendly and stuff with him, sitting on his lap etc but no kissing. I think he took this as a sign as he then asked me to go out again as he needed to tell me something. But yet again I would act this way with guys I just see as friends because I am like that, however he seemed to interpret it differently.
I agreed to meet up and I know what he wants to say. He is probably going to ask if I want to be boyfriend and girlfriend but I really don't know if I am ready for that. I have only been on two dates with him and although you may think I have been leading him on, I haven't acted in a romantic way towards him at all. I used those two dates to see if he was the kind of guy I wanted to be with but to be honest I just don't think he is. He has a nice personality, he can sometimes be a bit pretentious but all in all he is decent. But I don't feel any sexual or romantic attraction towards him and I think that's partly down to his looks. He isn't that good looking and I do think looks should play some part in a relationship.
So I don't know what to say to him when he asks me. I just don't think I am ready for a relationship with anyone I be honest. I have my a levels coming up with I need to do well in and in all honesty, I think the people at my theatre group built this up to be something more than it is just because of our performance in grease! I was only acting!
How do if let him know I'm not reay for a relationship with him? Also should I mention that I only see him as a friend or not? He is going to uni next year and we won't see each other so I can't see it working.
Thank you
Be honest and tell him you only see him as a friend, don't let this sort of thing drag on and him building up his hopes.
No wonder guys on here find girls so confusing, especially if they are all like you. Be kind and tell him outright.
Original post by Tom_green_day
So you went on two dates with him, flirt with him constantly and sit on his lap at parties? Well you can hardly blame him for thinking you were showing him the signs.
This.
Anon, you're just dragging him along, woman up and tell him! Don't ignore him, don't string him along, tell him..
sounds like he's hopelessly devoted to you
I was in this position last year. Ended up breaking more than a heart, destroying more than one friendship and ultimately leaving myself in a bad position, all because I thought the girl seemed nice and I kind of liked her. Break it off. Now. But remain friends 
I was recently in a similar situation with a girl. Even if you think it is obvious that you aren't overly interested (by you not being intimate etc) you are giving him enough to keep him there hoping. He obviously likes you and so he is ignoring those signs that you might not like him and just concentrating on the fact that you guys flirt and have gone out on a couple of dates.
So you have to be straight with him because the longer you leave it the more it will hurt him, and the longer it will take him to recover and move on.
Posted from TSR Mobile
So you have to be straight with him because the longer you leave it the more it will hurt him, and the longer it will take him to recover and move on.
Posted from TSR Mobile
If any guy acted that interested in me and had a decent personality, I wouldn't say no regardless of his looks.
I know how you feel (not same situation but I know how it is to not like them as much as they like you) and you have to tell him; gently, but you can't lead him on anymore, no matter how much you haven't intended to. My ex told me he loved me after six weeks (!) and I broke up with him pretty soon after that because I knew I didn't feel the same. If you lead him on for much longer you'll really be hurting him.
(edited 10 years ago)
Going on a couple of dates is fine, they're intended to establish whether you like someone enough to initiate romance after all. Sitting on his lap at a party was a bit silly, but you say yourself you have a problem with 'friendly' flirting with guys you don't like.
Just be honest, don't pre-empt him, but if he brings romance up, or asks for another date, let him know (kindly) that you're not looking for anything with him but friendship. He may be disappointed and upset but that will be on him. No-one will ever dump on you for being honest.
best of luck.
Just be honest, don't pre-empt him, but if he brings romance up, or asks for another date, let him know (kindly) that you're not looking for anything with him but friendship. He may be disappointed and upset but that will be on him. No-one will ever dump on you for being honest.
best of luck.
Thank you for your replies everyone I haven't been in a situation like this before so I'm not that sure how to word telling him. Some of you have said give him a chance etc and on one hand I am thinking that and then if I still don't feel anything then break up or just let him know now. Which is what I think I might do. I am naive when it comes to relationships and the thought of being in one excites me, but the thought of being in one with a guy I am more into (who ever he may be) excites me more.
I haven't been in a situation like this before so I'm not that sure how to word telling him. Some of you have said give him a chance etc and on one hand I am thinking that and then if I still don't feel anything then break up or just let him know now. Which is what I think I might do. I am naive when it comes to relationships and the thought of being in one excites me, but the thought of being in one with a guy I am more into (who ever he may be) excites me more.Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your replies everyone <img src="images/smilies/smile.png" border="0" alt="" title="" smilieid="1" class="inlineimg" /> I haven't been in a situation like this before so I'm not that sure how to word telling him. Some of you have said give him a chance etc and on one hand I am thinking that and then if I still don't feel anything then break up or just let him know now. Which is what I think I might do. I am naive when it comes to relationships and the thought of being in one excites me, but the thought of being in one with a guy I am more into (who ever he may be) excites me more.
" smilieid="1" class="inlineimg" /> I haven't been in a situation like this before so I'm not that sure how to word telling him. Some of you have said give him a chance etc and on one hand I am thinking that and then if I still don't feel anything then break up or just let him know now. Which is what I think I might do. I am naive when it comes to relationships and the thought of being in one excites me, but the thought of being in one with a guy I am more into (who ever he may be) excites me more.<br />
You are best off being straight to be point and honest with him, if you don't have feelings for him then there is no point going with him for the sake of it.
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