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Casually seeing a guy - doesn't respond to last text for a month until I text again

Hi,
So in summer 2013, I was seeing someone for about a month (very intensively) and then, one of us had to move locations so it became a long distance type thing. He did come and see me for a while but then had to go on a long holiday abroad and he said he would definitely contact me, see me, etc. when he got back.
He gets back and no contact for about 2 weeks... I figure that he is busy catching up on work he missed due to his 2 month holiday... I text him casually after 3 weeks to ask how everything was - he said he was just thinking to text me and has been very busy. We send another 2-3 texts and then he doesn't reply... so I leave it and about a month later, he asks if I'm free (kinda ignoring the fact that my last text requires a response) to meet that weekend but then this plans didn't work out as something came up (I don't think it was an excuse as he was the one inviting me)..

Then, he texts me little things that day and apologizes for not being able to meet up. Then, a day of no texts and the day after, we again text for about 3 hours continuously. Then, nothing again for 2 weeks. After that, he then texts again asking if I want to meet up (but this time, I was busy on that day) - he says "aw okay, we can meet up another day I'm sure"..

Then again, nothing for a few days until I initiate a text asking how the seasonal holiday (xmas, new year was) - he replies and we text again for 3-4 texts and then he stops replying yet again (despite me having a question).....

Then, no contact for about a month. I initiate another text with a sort of insult-y joke and he texts back with a bit of banter and then texts me continuously all day (for about 13 hours straight! so I felt reassured that he wasn't just replying to be polite but yet there was no apology for not replying to my last text)...

The thing is, most of our texts are a bit in the nature of 18+ (mainly as I think that's more fun and that seems to be maybe the only reason he responds?) Does that not mean he does like me or just that he's after 1 thing (dirty talk) and a bit of attention... He was coming on very strongly the last time we texted... BUT whilst he was texting me for 13 hours straight, I noticed he liked his ex' selfie pic (despite not liking any of her pics when he was dating her nor after they broke up)

By the way, we have not "done anything" physically which he said was fine and someone broke up with him about a year ago but he says he feels the pain as if it was a recent breakup and he's not properly over it...

I know it's starting to look like he's not into it after all :/

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 1

ironandwine

You're not seeing a guy, you're seeing your phone. It's a bit of flirty banter and nothing more. If you actually have feelings for him then I'd put a stop to it.

Reply 2

ChrisGeorge

i hate to tell you but he's really only after one thing and thats the dirty talk
sorry :/

Reply 3

Chocolatesoup

if yous hung out before he left and "didnt do anything physically" then by the time he went away and all that time has passed, he's probably kinda moved on from you, sorry to say, to him it might have seemed like nothing was really happening or progressing towards anything.

by the sounds of it, it seems like youre really into him, despite it sounding only like yous text and never actually spend any time together. i think you should try to hang out with him and see how it goes, see if he takes an interest in you and tries to get to know you, or if he just rushes into trying to get it on with you.

if youre "casually seeing a guy" he doesnt really have much motivation to make a huge effort with you or take an interest. its just texting? if he takes you out on a date for a meal or anything like that then he would seem serious and interested in you.

i think you should maybe try to talk to other guys and focus your attention elsewhere, you seem a bit too invested in this?