New &quot;Nice Guy&quot; thread.

OP

Original post by Forum User

If you're bad looking, try dressing better and going to the gym. I seriously doubt that you are so terribly ugly that you can't make yourself look something reasonably okay.

Why do you think being 'nice' is enough? Isn't that just about the most bland, innocuous, barely-positive attribute you can have? If you turned up to a job interview, couldn't do the work, knew nothing about the company, could barely look the interviewer in the eye and spoke timidly but you were 'nice', how do you think you'd get on? Don't you have anything better going for you than that you are 'nice'?

What would you think if you met a genuinely nice, friendly girl who was ugly and overweight? Would you be sexually attracted? Why should it be different the other way
around?

ps, most people who go around trumpeting their niceness as a virtue tend to be, in fact, not nice at all. You may be an exception...

While dressing better and going to the gym and such may help, if you don't have a good face then it seems you are just doomed to singeldom as girls don't want to date you.

I don't think being "nice" is the be all and end all. What I mean really is not just nice, but someone who is actually a caring, considerate, very friendly and honest person. Someone who actually is "Nice" and not a fake.

If I met a girl who was below average looking and who was a very nice person then yes I would certainly consider it. I am not good looking myself at all so I can't exactly judge and personality is what counts over everything else.

I believe I am an exception in that regard. I am certianly not someone who goes around trumpteing niceness and I think you are correct, those that do tend to be just using it because they think it makes them seem more appealing.

Reply 4

slade p

4

This is usually what self pitying guys who don't have much about them say, "im nice", "girl's don't like nice guys", so what if your nice? simply being nice is not going to attract girls and so if your not good looking then they certainly won't be attracted to you if your just nice.

you say you have average looks so you particularly need to have a attractive personality, be interesting and so on. having a self pitying attitude makes you even more unattractive.

Reply 5

chocolatesauce

18

Girls like nice guys, have some self confidence as well because often self confidence can be over looked for the looks. My point is, if you're really interested in a girl, do something unique for her you'd never do for someone you consider just a friend. Keep in mind that going out of your way on a large scale and continuous physical contact may come across as being intimately and exclusively interested in a girl because that way she knows you're not just being nice but is interested too...

Reply 6

andrew2209

11

You expect someone to be nice, therefore it's not seen as a trait that should define you. You definitely shouldn't be nice for the sake of trying to get in a relationship. I almost fell into the trap, and it's a terrible cycle to get in.

Reply 7

OP

Original post by chocolatesauce

Girls like nice guys, have some self confidence as well because often self confidence can be over looked for the looks. My point is, if you're really interested in a girl, do something unique for her you'd never do for someone you consider just a friend. Keep in mind that going out of your way on a large scale and continuous physical contact may come across as being intimately and exclusively interested in a girl because that way she knows you're not just being nice but is interested too...

Good post. Fortunately I am a confident person and am always friendly to people even if I don't know them. Maybe that will bring me luck eventually, as long as I am assertive too.

The main problem is that I am below average in physical attractiveness so that means it is a lot more difficult. I basically have to find a girl who values personality a lot more over looks and who is willing to get to know a guy despite the looks. Girls have such a larger pool of guys they could date than guys do so it makes it hard.

Reply 8

triplet3

11

I don't know if this related to being a 'nice guy', but I think kindness is a hugely important trait when it comes to attractiveness. E.g there was this guy in my history class who I really liked; he was good looking, confident, intelligent - whats not to like? Anyway one lesson he made fun of another guy in the class who blushed when he read out his work, loudly shouting out about how red his face was and ultimately humiliating him. From this immediate moment and to this day his attractiveness vanished, I could never think of him in the same way.

Therefore I (and I think most normal women in the world would agree) that being a nice guy is very important, but I think even more so NOT being nice and acting like a complete nasty dick is a more deminishing and obvious trait that is a complete turn off.

Reply 9

Biryani007

18

I'd go for nice guy over bad boy any day....

But he's gotta be funny too, and tbh I do need to find him kinda goodlooking (goodlooking is subjective so you'll be fine) :smile:

Reply 10

OP

Thanks for the posts. :smile:

Yes kindness is a trait which I would relate to being a nice guy, an actual nice person.

True Biryani looks are subjective. I just look different from your stereotypical good looking guy... I have more of an oval face and I look very young for my age which I think turns lots of girls off. I am also fairly thin, I have a fair bit of muscle on me and work out, but just naturally thin. So being one of those thin guys who looks really young for my age just doesn't help me I don't think. :frown:

Reply 11

'nice guy' here. -I have a shirt to prove it!

Reply 12

OP

Original post by guppygould

'nice guy' here. -I have a shirt to prove it!

That is exactly the mentality which devalues someone being a nice person. The only reason "Nice guy" has become some kind of actually term is because there are so many idiots out there who seem to think they can use it to their advantage to get a girl. They are players.

The thing is there actually really are "nice" people out there. People who are kind, considerate and honest. I know some and they are not phonies, they are very friendly, nice people.

Reply 13

Original post by Anonymous

That is exactly the mentality which devalues someone being a nice person. The only reason "Nice guy" has become some kind of actually term is because there are so many idiots out there who seem to think they can use it to their advantage to get a girl. They are players.

The thing is there actually really are "nice" people out there. People who are kind, considerate and honest. I know some and they are not phonies, they are very friendly, nice people.

No, THIS mentality is completely wrong! It's all well and good reckoning you can accurately predict someone's character from behind a keyboard just because you read a statement that was intended as a bit of a joke. I am not a player, you can ask around! I've never had a girlfriend and can count the number of people I have been with on one hand. Yeah, absolute 'player'. Oh, and I was 23 at the start of the month just to throw it in!

I think you just described me towards the end of your post!

Oh, and see this was what I was talking about: http://wongfuproductions.tumblr.com/post/14176447293/raise-your-hand-guys-redesigned-raise-your

-Leo (nice guy)

Reply 14

OP

Original post by guppygould

No, THIS mentality is completely wrong! It's all well and good reckoning you can accurately predict someone's character from behind a keyboard just because you read a statement that was intended as a bit of a joke. I am not a player, you can ask around! I've never had a girlfriend and can count the number of people I have been with on one hand. Yeah, absolute 'player'. Oh, and I was 23 at the start of the month just to throw it in!

I think you just described me towards the end of your post!

Oh, and see this was what I was talking about: http://wongfuproductions.tumblr.com/post/14176447293/raise-your-hand-guys-redesigned-raise-your

-Leo (nice guy)

Lol way to get so defensive. Funny because nothing I said was actually meant to be directed towards you. I don't even know you. :P

Reply 15

miser

20

It's not about nice - nice is the euphemism. There are strong guys and weak guys. If you're too weak as a person, women will tend not to respect you sexually, and you'll get told you're "too nice".

Looks also don't matter all that much so long as you have good hygiene, dress well, etc., as these things project self-worth.

Reply 16

Original post by Anonymous

Lol way to get so defensive. Funny because nothing I said was actually meant to be directed towards you. I don't even know you. :P

No, but the fact that you quoted me originally heavily implied that it was. I was simply pointing out that you didn't know me!

-

Reply 17

OP

Original post by guppygould

No, but the fact that you quoted me originally heavily implied that it was. I was simply pointing out that you didn't know me!

-

Yeah of course I quoted you, what you said comes off as potentially incredibly sarcastic about the whole "Nice guy" thing. As if to say I have a shirt that says so, so I must be a nice guy... Which is exactly the kind of thing someone who is trying to fake being a nice person would say.

Maybe you meant it in a genuine way, as if to say that you really are a nice person. That is the problem with talking online, it is easy to get things mixed up.

Reply 18

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah of course I quoted you, what you said comes off as potentially incredibly sarcastic about the whole "Nice guy" thing. As if to say I have a shirt that says so, so I must be a nice guy... Which is exactly the kind of thing someone who is trying to fake being a nice person would say.

Maybe you meant it in a genuine way, as if to say that you really are a nice person. Trhat is the problem with talking online, it is easy to get things mixed up.

The lack of 'tone' does make some things not come off right. Your OP came off as pretty combatative to me. People take things that are said way too seriously sometimes I think. Life is a joke which most of the time is on me! I don't get why anyone would fake it, it's not good anyway!

Reply 19