Do you look down on young mums?

Original post by tysonmaniac

Like, it also depends what you mean by young, and I do not go around tutting at them, but in general people who are unable to effectively use contraception or who even want to have children at a young age (like, under 20) are not people I trust as parents. This does not mean I think I am a superior person to them (I try my best not to look down on people in general, for obvious reasons), just that they are doing a bad thing in having a child.

contraception isn't 100% effective, I know some girls who are young and they are fantastic mothers. And no they don't have state handouts either.

Original post by tehforum

Yes, and what about the life choices that led up to the pregnancy?

Failure to use contraception?
Failure to take a pill?

Sometimes it's simply failure of contraception I'm aware that it's uncommon but it does happen

Reply 22

Clip

Original post by RHyoudon'kno

But they take responsibility for it as well as the consequences.

Who says? They might just devolve their responsibility to their own parents, and rely on the state to provide for them.

Reply 23

tysonmaniac

10

Original post by victoriajackson

contraception isn't 100% effective, I know some girls who are young and they are fantastic mothers. And no they don't have state handouts either.

As I stated earlier, I agree that there are effective parents who are young and are capable mothers. They are not the norm, but they do exist.

However, most people who are young enough that having children is a problem and who are mature enough to be parents tend not to want to have children. In general, wanting children at a young age is not a sign you would make a great parent.

And of course contraception is not 100% effective, but when used effectively it is far better than when used poorly (as in, use multiple contraceptives).

Reply 24

username1468518

This is disgusting. First of all you know absolutely NOTHING about these people and all your judgements are based in assumptions. I, personally, find it disgusting as my mother was a young mum and had me only at 17. She has done everything that she has possibly can for me and my brother. She never went out partying and clubbing but was raising my brother and I to be best that we could possibly be. She worked her ****ing arse off and you think you can judge when you know **** all. This is so pathetic. Get a life.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 25

Original post by tysonmaniac

As I stated earlier, I agree that there are effective parents who are young and are capable mothers. They are not the norm, but they do exist.

However, most people who are young enough that having children is a problem and who are mature enough to be parents tend not to want to have children. In general, wanting children at a young age is not a sign you would make a great parent.

And of course contraception is not 100% effective, but when used effectively it is far better than when used poorly (as in, use multiple contraceptives).

Sorry I only really read up to your first comment I have a short attention span late at night. I just don't tend to judge people until I know a little bit more about them. It is better than not using it at all yes but even if you use say the pill and a condom there's always a risk unfortunately.

Reply 26

RHyoudon'kno

Original post by Clip

Who says? They might just devolve their responsibility to their own parents, and rely on the state to provide for them.

Ok, well most women anyway.

Reply 27

jacobt96

I used to think really badly of young mums until one of my friends got pregnant at a young age, seeing how well she raises her daughter completely changed my view.

Reply 28

Jubz1

I feel a bit of pity on both the mother and child, they may live wonderful lives but not to the possible best. Many will accept that they're perfectly happy with the way things have turned out..

I don't like seeing mums who get irritated when their babies cry and see them as a nuisance, when they smoke in front of their child, argue loudly with foul language in from of the baby.

I think it's rather horrendous in my opinion in seeing >16 pregnant

Original post by Samia95

This is disgusting. First of all you know absolutely NOTHING about these people and all your judgements are based in assumptions. I, personally, find it disgusting as my mother was a young mum and had me only at 17. She has done everything that she has possibly can for me and my brother. She never went out partying and clubbing but was raising my brother and I to be best that we could possibly be. She worked her ****ing arse off and you think you can judge when you know **** all. This is so pathetic. Get a life.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Sheesh, calm down

Reply 29

tysonmaniac

10

Original post by victoriajackson

Sorry I only really read up to your first comment I have a short attention span late at night. I just don't tend to judge people until I know a little bit more about them. It is better than not using it at all yes but even if you use say the pill and a condom there's always a risk unfortunately.

There is a risk, yes, but like, that is not nearly enough. I mean, I am in America so just got sent to an american page on this, but I assume it is accurate:
http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/contraception.htm

So like, using the pill and a male condom gives you about a 2% failure rate, which sucks. Like, 1/50 is not good at all. (this figure feels very high to me, but from other sources the combined failure rate seems about 1-2%, which is unreasonable). Like, I would not accept that chance of something much less inconvenient than a child (say, throwing up every time I had intercourse), so I would not accept that chance of having a baby.

But yes, you are right, and that was my problem with this, because while I have moral objections to becoming a parent at a young age, I do not think it fair to make blanket judgements that are all too often made about young parents (especially mothers).

Reply 30

AlphaDog0127

No, I don't look down on them. Seeing 14 year olds pregnant does freak me out a little though lol, especially if a few years ago I was their babysitter :lolwut:

. I've got friends who had kids young and have nothing but respect for what they are doing, they accepted the consequences of their actions and are raising their kids 1000 times better than I ever could.

Reply 31

Original post by Clip

This exact thread comes up all the time, could you please rephrase it?

It's just begging for a really obvious and unsavoury joke.

Original post by saarah_

I haven't actually seen a thread about young mothers on TSR but then again I don't spend much time on here.

I spend far too much time on here and I haven't seen any either!
As for the joke, I'm curious - is it on the lines of them being on their knees?

Reply 32

Jubz1

By the way, infant mortality, no one really talks about it but I know a few girls who've lost their babies so that's a worrying prospect. Even more predominant around young teenage (possibly neglectful?) parents

Reply 33

Generally, I'd say I do. A lot of young mothers tend to be single mums, and whilst there's nothing wrong with that having two involved and loving parents is undeniably better for a child than one.
Secondly, it's unlikely they'll be financially stable - how can an 16 year old with a baby to care for be financially stable? The result is they often need state handouts, and even that isn't ideal - I think that people should be able to provide for their kids before having a kid (circumstances change but they should at least try).
Some young mothers, as mentioned, still want to live a 'young' lifestyle and party, drink, smoke etc which makes them ineffective parents. Lastly, having a child makes it a lot harder for someone to pursue an education and a lot of young mothers therefore don't get one.
Obviously there are exception and if I meet a great, well educated financially stable young mum who isn't on benefits and is providing for her child as well as being a great mother I'll be really impressed and have the utmost respect for her.

Reply 34

Original post by victoriajackson

Sorry I only really read up to your first comment I have a short attention span late at night. I just don't tend to judge people until I know a little bit more about them. It is better than not using it at all yes but even if you use say the pill and a condom there's always a risk unfortunately.

If you're using both that risk is minute, it'll be something like 1 in a million. The people getting pregnant despite using both likely aren't using them properly, ie forgetting pills/not taking them at the same time of day.

Reply 35

Original post by victoriajackson

contraception isn't 100% effective, I know some girls who are young and they are fantastic mothers. And no they don't have state handouts either.

Sometimes it's simply failure of contraception I'm aware that it's uncommon but it does happen

Out if curiosity, if they're not on state handouts are they working? And if so, who looks after their children? Plus, what sort of jobs do they have - a minimum wage job isn't going to sustain a child? Genuinely curious how they managed to balance all these things :smile:

Reply 36

Original post by tysonmaniac

There is a risk, yes, but like, that is not nearly enough. I mean, I am in America so just got sent to an american page on this, but I assume it is accurate:
http://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/unintendedpregnancy/contraception.htm

So like, using the pill and a male condom gives you about a 2% failure rate, which sucks. Like, 1/50 is not good at all. (this figure feels very high to me, but from other sources the combined failure rate seems about 1-2%, which is unreasonable). Like, I would not accept that chance of something much less inconvenient than a child (say, throwing up every time I had intercourse), so I would not accept that chance of having a baby.

But yes, you are right, and that was my problem with this, because while I have moral objections to becoming a parent at a young age, I do not think it fair to make blanket judgements that are all too often made about young parents (especially mothers).

I thought the pill was 1 in 1000 I bloody hope it is anyway I'd avoid pregnancy at all costs it just doesn't happen for some people, there was a couple in the news a fair few years back here who got pregnant even after her partner had a vasectomy! Yeah I don't think it's right women seem to be judged much more harshly for being young mothers

Reply 37