What is the first thing that comes to a guys mind when he approaches a random girl?

Oh I thought people might have a reason for approaching you, like quite often when guys approach it is to help me and i genuinely thought that they might be wanting to help me. E.g. like adjusting the strap on my bag, picking up my earplugs that have fallen out, trying to help me with the way I am using equippment at the gym. But now I come to think of it, maybe they did just want something . That's sad.

No, it's an uncomfortable situation and even acknowledging them i could be putting myself in danger

No, it's an uncomfortable situation and even acknowledging them i could be putting myself in danger

Ignore him

Oh I thought people might have a reason for approaching you, like quite often when guys approach it is to help me and i genuinely thought that they might be wanting to help me. E.g. like adjusting the strap on my bag, picking up my earplugs that have fallen out, trying to help me with the way I am using equippment at the gym. But now I come to think of it, maybe they did just want something . That's sad.

No, it's an uncomfortable situation and even acknowledging them i could be putting myself in danger

haha didnt you go interrailing alone :P

but yet talked to people yeh met! oh the irony!!

look lads..girls will want this and that...theyll complain if yeh dont approach...if yeh do approach.just forget what they think and do what yeh like while being a decent person.
itl work out in the end dont worry

No, it's an uncomfortable situation and even acknowledging them i could be putting myself in danger

In hostels, if a guy approached me in the street I'd walk away.

Seriously? How would you be in 'danger'?

Seriously? How would you be in 'danger'?

Could be mugged,raped dragged away and killed. Are you honestly telling me if someone approached you or followed you you wouldn't think they had an ulterior motive?

To be honest, if a guy purely wanted to make friends, and if they had no alternative in mind whatsoever, then why is it that guys don't approach guys???? They have male friends too. But no, they ask girls, so clearly there's a little more to it than making friends.

When I go out looking awful, no one approaches me. When I go out wearing a dress or if I have nice hair, or both, guys suddenly want to make friends.

Also, I get that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, but from all the years I have been approached, only two have been from guys who approached me in a nice and polite manner, without intimidating me, and yes they did get my number. For example one of the guys was on the tube opposite me, he started smiling at me, and said I looked pretty. And we spoke for a bit about where we were going etc and then he asked if I minded if he could sit next to me, to which I said I didn't mind. So there is a way to go about it, but for some reason, most guys tend to go in with all guns blazing, then wonder why they got rejected.




One guy approached me about 6 weeks ago, it was about 10.45pm and said if I could help him with his car. I just sort of looked at him like "what?" and he showed me where his car was. It was literally right there, so I thought I may as well see what the problem was, maybe I could help. Then he says he "would rather ask a woman to help" and then I straight away looked at him (because if anyone would ask for help with a car, stereotypically, they would ask a male). And then when I did look up, I saw some other random guy across the road staring at us and smiling at him. Not just a friendly smile, but a smile that suggested they knew each other. I bolted at that point. Clearly there were two of them and there was something planned. I ran to my car, and jumped in, and to get home, I had to double back on myself and drive down that same road, of which his car was not there with both him and his friend gone. Clearly, there was nothing wrong with his car.

There are so many horror stories of women being kidnapped in the back of a van or gone missing, or found dead, so excuse me for being cautious with regards to speaking to someone.

I really really don't believe that you should speak to someone, find out how they are, what they are about and make a decision because if something bad happens, you don't have the luxury of that time to figure out if they are a good or bad guy. That's why I rely a lot on what someone looks like ( not only with regards to physical looks but also how they approach me and how they carry/conduct themselves) to judge if I want to continue the conversation.

Following someone is completely different. If someone approached in a public area with people around you, none of these 'dangers' will be present. Do you still ignore them?

Some people may approach you because they think your attractive and want to get to know you. Some men are genuinely nice people you know...

There are certain scenarios where you could be in 'danger'. If you were on your own and no others were around. The original post I replied said she would ignore anyone that approached her. There are so many scenarios where there is no danger like a pub, club, in a town centre etc...

Still means nothing to me I'm speaking from previous experiences. I did acknowledge someone once and it turned out terrible so I stick my ground on it from now on. I don't doubt some people are genuinely nice, I just don't see what comes from it anyway... you don't know the person you're approaching so it's just going to end up awkward? What's the point? So much better to do things in a social setting rather than in a street.

No, she was addressing that if someone approached you in a street, see the next post below.



Usually guys don't tend to approach when anyone else is around anyway, I guess they feel less nervous if it's just 1-2-1 conversing.

A social setting would genuinely be fine. The key is to not be in an intimating situation, to which usually social settings are fine.

She said that after I said my reply. Even on the street it isn't always 'dangerous'.

So me and my girlfriend are having this debate. She thinks most of the time guys will come and say hi to a girl and the only thing that will be on their mind is having a friendly conversation and nothing more. However I think that the main reason a guy would go and say hi to a random girl whilst out is to start flirting/chatting her up and hoping he would get somewhere?
Just wanted to know who you think is right ?