I need help with talking to girls

Hey guys,
When I see a girl that I quite like part of me really wants to talk to her and get to know her but the other part feels terrified that they’ll reject me or tell me to go away or something. Could you guys please give me some advice as to how I could get more confident with talking to girls my own age?

Reply 1

Greekbraveheart

Original post by killabitis

I totally understand where you're coming from – talking to someone you like can be nerve-wracking! But remember, confidence is key! Just be yourself, take a deep breath, and start with some casual conversations to get to know her better. Show genuine interest in her and find common ground. Don't worry about rejection; it happens to everyone. Be cool, be genuine, and you'll do great! 🤜🤛

Reply 2

Old Skool Freak

As those good people at Nike once said, "Just Do It".

I'm generally not a fan of so-called Playas or Pick-Up-Artists, but one thing they do do which I kinda like is to live by "The Three Second Rule". This means that if / when you see someone you like the look of, you start to approach them as soon as you notice them (i.e. within 3 seconds). That way you don't give yourself a chance to get worked up and anxious about it... in other words the dreaded "Paralysis by Analysis".

Yeah, I know how it works... when you see her, and you're thinking about your approach, this annoying voice goes off in your head, reminding you of all your insecurities, hang-ups, saying you've no chance etc (if only you had a louder voice in your head telling it to STFU lol). If you approach her immediately, that stupid critical voice doesn't get a chance to get going. What's more your approach is likely to be more natural and less like a rehearsed pick up line / routine.

Also, with me, if I approach a girl, I do it without any real expectations, and I just see where this takes us. For instance, she could be my next GF; she could be someone to have a bit of fun with; may chat or dance for a bit; she may not be interested in interacting with me at all. Whatever dynamic emerges, I'll just roll with it.

NGL, there's always a chance you'll get rejected / blown out. I can understand it being a bad thing from someone you know or see around all the time... but if it's from a complete random, what's the big deal there? Seriously, who cares? There's all sorts of reasons why she may reject you... and guess what? Many of these things may be her issue and not yours. If she's not interested, just move on and look for another girl.

Also, certain social surroundings makes it easier to talk to people. Parties are always good, as are group activities like the one you described in your other post. Not sure how old you are, but pubs / nightclubs are good sources... if you're too young for those, then try youth clubs. In the summer people like to chill in places like the beach or park... if you go with your mates, maybe bring something like a ball or a frisbee and that can act as an activity / talking point.

How to avoid harsh rejections... avoid being creepy / purvey, if she's deep in conversation with someone, don't interrupt her. Make sure she sees you approaching her, there's two things here:-

a) Approaching from behind is a bit like sneaking up on someone, so immediately creates a bad impression.
b) This way, if you can spot an "Oh no, he's coming over" type look, you can make a last minute detour and avoid being formally blown out.

If when talking, she mentions a boyfriend at all, then she's not interested (unless she's saying what an idiot he is). Draw the conversation to an end, and make your excuses.

I know you're nervous and this all seems daunting, but the only way you're going to get over it is to actually go out and approach people. You'll be surprised how quickly you'll get used to it.

Happy hunting :thumbsup: