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Can you be friends with a guy who is attracted to you?

Not general question, based on recent events.

Too cut a very long story short...

Ex broke up during first year uni, was dating for 4 months, broke up because he said he could never 'love' me. I was gutted. Now he is my best friend (no, really, he is...), but he recently made a move on me again, but doesn't wan't a relationship as does not see a future. I said I would not settle for anything less (we went down fwb route before, felt like I was settling even though I deserved better from him). I really now see him as a friend and am actually interested in someone else now. Sadly I now feel like I can't trust him, as he will always be attracted to me and want more from the friendship. Also, it took me months to get to the point I am at, but a feel like one mistake can chuck me back to how awful I felt when he dumped me. I don't want to fall for him again.

My question: Shall I cut my losses to prevent me being hurt, and reduce contact? Or shall I try to be friends with him again? What will be better in the long term for not getting hurt? Can I trust him? :frown:

Reply 1

Kabloomybuzz

I think you can be friends if you want to and are both able to set and stick to your boundaries. It completely depends on the situation and the best thing you can probably do is try and have an open conversation about your relationship and how you both want to move forward.

Original post by treejoe4

Care to elaborate? Just "no" isn't exactly helpful without an explanation as to why you feel this way.

Reply 4

Zarek

I don't think what he is doing is fair and think you need to move on and later on be 'the one that got away' for him. Fine to be friends, but only AFTER you have found someone that can love you and then see if it still matters. Hope I'm wrong but it's my feelings.

Reply 5

Wait, what?

If he's trying to make a move on you while you're trying to get with another guy then it's going to push that other guy away (obviously) because humans are jealous things! If he's your ex, who you're good friends with, who made a move on you/ you were fwb, no guy is going to trust you with him as a best friend :s-smilie: