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Finding it difficult to break away
Hi Guys
Basically I have been split up from my ex boyfriend for two months now. I haven't seen him since then. We have spoken through via telephone a few times and we text each other now and again. We split up for the right reasons (on my account anyway). He treated me like an animal, manipulated me, made me feel small and I lost some friends in the process. I became worst off.
However, I did fall in love with him some how. I still love him. After all the crap he's put me through I still have very strong feelings for him. I can't stop loving him. He gives me mixed messages. He started university a few weeks before me. During his freshers he rang me saying he can't over me but last week I learnt he has been dating other people. This sent a shiver down my spine as I love him still.
I think of him a lot.
The question is really, when will I start to get tough on this issue?
I can't see my self getting stronger. I love him dearly but just can't be with him as he is not the guy I thought he was. I could forgive him for the ****e he has done but he doesn't the effort to help me. So that's why we properly finished. I need tio be made special, happy and most of all enjoy my life, sort of enhance it.
Anyones expierences would be excellent.
Basically I have been split up from my ex boyfriend for two months now. I haven't seen him since then. We have spoken through via telephone a few times and we text each other now and again. We split up for the right reasons (on my account anyway). He treated me like an animal, manipulated me, made me feel small and I lost some friends in the process. I became worst off.
However, I did fall in love with him some how. I still love him. After all the crap he's put me through I still have very strong feelings for him. I can't stop loving him. He gives me mixed messages. He started university a few weeks before me. During his freshers he rang me saying he can't over me but last week I learnt he has been dating other people. This sent a shiver down my spine as I love him still.
I think of him a lot.
The question is really, when will I start to get tough on this issue?
I can't see my self getting stronger. I love him dearly but just can't be with him as he is not the guy I thought he was. I could forgive him for the ****e he has done but he doesn't the effort to help me. So that's why we properly finished. I need tio be made special, happy and most of all enjoy my life, sort of enhance it.
Anyones expierences would be excellent.
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hey hun
i know its very difficult to get over someone u love so much and im sure it must hurt u everytime u think about him however it will take time for u to get over him u do realise that hes hurting u and u do know what u want ...let me even quote u the things ud like and it clearly shows he doesnt give u any of that.
like i said to u it will take a great deal of time and to sort your emotions out even though it was 2 months but sometimes we fall for someone so soon let this be a lesson as well when getting to know a guy get to know him well and understand what hes like from my experience i get to know a guy for 1year max to take things furthur as finding the right guy is hard ..ive been hurt too infact the first guy i had feelings for ignored me and he was married already and trust me u dont want to go there but that was a very very horrible experience and i hope nobody goes through what i had to go through but really hun the best thing to do is delete , erase him for good keeping in touch with him is only going to kill u more really try to erase him slowly and move on and enjoy ur life like u want to otherwise ull just be his slave and hell keep using u good luck hun keep posting and let us know how things are
-hugs-
i know its very difficult to get over someone u love so much and im sure it must hurt u everytime u think about him however it will take time for u to get over him u do realise that hes hurting u and u do know what u want ...let me even quote u the things ud like and it clearly shows he doesnt give u any of that.
but he doesn't the effort to help me. So that's why we properly finished. I need tio be made special, happy and most of all enjoy my life,
like i said to u it will take a great deal of time and to sort your emotions out even though it was 2 months but sometimes we fall for someone so soon let this be a lesson as well when getting to know a guy get to know him well and understand what hes like from my experience i get to know a guy for 1year max to take things furthur as finding the right guy is hard ..ive been hurt too infact the first guy i had feelings for ignored me and he was married already and trust me u dont want to go there but that was a very very horrible experience and i hope nobody goes through what i had to go through but really hun the best thing to do is delete , erase him for good keeping in touch with him is only going to kill u more really try to erase him slowly and move on and enjoy ur life like u want to otherwise ull just be his slave and hell keep using u good luck hun keep posting and let us know how things are
-hugs-
A lot of truth there.
he has just come on MSN thinking it's funny to go on there deliberately to tell me that he has been clubbing all night and he's still drunk and met loads of people. He had one aim and that was to make me jealous.
I have just picked up the courage to use the advise put before me. His MSN addy is gone and I've just deleted his number. I have no other form of contact with him at all. Now I need to move on and get on with my university education.
He's obviously at uni to drink all the time and to mess with my head from the sounds of it.
Is it true that you can get over yopur ex better if you go around kissing other people and stuff?
he has just come on MSN thinking it's funny to go on there deliberately to tell me that he has been clubbing all night and he's still drunk and met loads of people. He had one aim and that was to make me jealous.
I have just picked up the courage to use the advise put before me. His MSN addy is gone and I've just deleted his number. I have no other form of contact with him at all. Now I need to move on and get on with my university education.
He's obviously at uni to drink all the time and to mess with my head from the sounds of it.
Is it true that you can get over yopur ex better if you go around kissing other people and stuff?
Anonymous
Is it true that you can get over yopur ex better if you go around kissing other people and stuff?
Not if you do it just for the sake of it. Kissing in itself is nothing.
It's definitely easier to move on if you have somebody new to think about, but just going around kissing a load of people in an effort to get back at your ex who won't even know about it is just plain stupid.
Meeting a new guy and seeing him consistently, on the other hand, probably will make moving on a lot easier.
Squelchy
Not if you do it just for the sake of it. Kissing in itself is nothing.
It's definitely easier to move on if you have somebody new to think about, but just going around kissing a load of people in an effort to get back at your ex who won't even know about it is just plain stupid.
Meeting a new guy and seeing him consistently, on the other hand, probably will make moving on a lot easier.
It's definitely easier to move on if you have somebody new to think about, but just going around kissing a load of people in an effort to get back at your ex who won't even know about it is just plain stupid.
Meeting a new guy and seeing him consistently, on the other hand, probably will make moving on a lot easier.
I just so glad I picked up the courage got my self at another university. I was planning to go to his. but I got my self released from there now I'm at somewhere else.
It's really hard for me to meet people since I'm gay and it's just difficult meeting people. Furthermore, I don't go for most gay people, especially if they appear camp at all. That's just me.
Is it true that you can get over yopur ex better if you go around kissing other people and stuff?
no. When i was trying to get over the loser i had been with i use to do horrible things self harm do wild things that i knew wasnt good for me and kissing other people wont do u any good really it wont. I promise u that for sure. You will feel more crappy after that and it will only hurt u more because like u said u need the following ...
1.) help
2.) wanting to enjoy life and keep happy
3.) and someone to make u feel speacial
do u think going around kissing different men every night is gonna make u feel speacial when u wont see them again? no it wont. its more pain.
But what u can do is start meeting guys and getting to know them better rather than rushing into relationships that would be pointless and result in u paining more. Its hard and its tuff but uve made a great step by blocking him and deleting him well done thats the first step second step is heal and focus on u and look after urself as sad as it may sound nobodys gonna do it for u
please keep us updated hun -hugs-
Let him go.
I know it's very easy to say but if you have the strength to stop going back to him you'll be able to look back in six months and be proud of yourself for not allowing him to carry on making you feel down.
I'm in a similar situation with a guy who I feel is perfect for me, but he makes me feel miserable a lot of the time. I've been holding onto the hope that I'll get together with this guy and everything will be all rainbows and sunshine. But I've learnt to be realistic now and I know that because it hasn't happened by now it never will. I know it's hard to let go of someone you feel deeply for, but you need to put yourself and your own happiness first.
Cutting off contact is a start but take small steps to begin with like not replying to the flirty texts or phone calls.
It's not something that happens overnight, it takes time to get over someone who means a lot to you, but eventually you'll see that the steps you take now will have been for the best.
I know it's very easy to say but if you have the strength to stop going back to him you'll be able to look back in six months and be proud of yourself for not allowing him to carry on making you feel down.
I'm in a similar situation with a guy who I feel is perfect for me, but he makes me feel miserable a lot of the time. I've been holding onto the hope that I'll get together with this guy and everything will be all rainbows and sunshine. But I've learnt to be realistic now and I know that because it hasn't happened by now it never will. I know it's hard to let go of someone you feel deeply for, but you need to put yourself and your own happiness first.
Cutting off contact is a start but take small steps to begin with like not replying to the flirty texts or phone calls.
It's not something that happens overnight, it takes time to get over someone who means a lot to you, but eventually you'll see that the steps you take now will have been for the best.
Anonymous
do u think going around kissing different men every night is gonna make u feel speacial when u wont see them again? no it wont. its more pain.
But what u can do is start meeting guys and getting to know them better rather than rushing into relationships that would be pointless and result in u paining more. Its hard and its tuff but uve made a great step by blocking him and deleting him well done thats the first step second step is heal and focus on u and look after urself as sad as it may sound nobodys gonna do it for u
please keep us updated hun -hugs-
do u think going around kissing different men every night is gonna make u feel speacial when u wont see them again? no it wont. its more pain.
But what u can do is start meeting guys and getting to know them better rather than rushing into relationships that would be pointless and result in u paining more. Its hard and its tuff but uve made a great step by blocking him and deleting him well done thats the first step second step is heal and focus on u and look after urself as sad as it may sound nobodys gonna do it for u
please keep us updated hun -hugs-
Cheers for the advise.
You're right... no one is going to help me truely get over him. I need to start getting tough with my self. Toughen out as many people have said. Start being selfish a little, I mean, by looking after number 1 (me!).
I'm an emotional wreck right not and sensitive anyway so going round kissing people won't do me any good.
But I dunno, I just want to meet some people like me. I have no idea how to do it. I could join LGBT society but dunno, I just get a bit frightened by over the top camp people. lol
Squelchy
LGBT society?
Lesbian & Gay British ________ society?
Lesbian & Gay British ________ society?
lesbian gay bisexual transgender
persoanlly not a huge fan of it at all but supose its the only way to meet people
Squelchy
Not necessarily. Why not try gay clubs/gay nights?
There are none around here. The only way is through the society. Unless I treck down Manchester, which just takes the mick.
If he is telling you of his exploits, and he enjoyed making you feel bad about yourself he sounds like a person with issues to me,and you sound a much better person, even though he may have initiallycome off looking stronger.
I agree, looking after yourself and remembering who you were BEFORE this man came into your life will help.Also it may help you speaking to someoen who understands, or writing up your development on here.
I havelearnt some types of peopel are very strangein relationships, and use them in ways that are very wrong when you think about it.you have recognised that, and hopefully it will help you grow and develop, and move on
I agree, looking after yourself and remembering who you were BEFORE this man came into your life will help.Also it may help you speaking to someoen who understands, or writing up your development on here.
I havelearnt some types of peopel are very strangein relationships, and use them in ways that are very wrong when you think about it.you have recognised that, and hopefully it will help you grow and develop, and move on
thats ok hun.
i think its an excellent idea for u to join societies and to meet new people ...when i had broken up recently with the jerk my heart was dead i wasnt a happy bunny at all and i can understand ur situation because i know the need of someone wanting to help u in the moment do u not have any close friends u can talk to regarding the issue? i mean i didnt have any close friends to talk to ...i couldnt talk to my parents either boy that time was horrible and it was like suffocating inside a room everyday was hell and pain and its just so difficult to describe it in words.
Your right be selfish about u ...ur no1 in this u come first than any human being on this planet so focus on u and those that care about u ...sometimes its hard to find people just like u but u can find people with similar interests and likings as u ...but take it slow get to know guys for a bit rather than rushing and move on and get to know people ..and joining societies of different kinds is a awesome idea to get to know people and meet them maybe all u need is someone u can trust and cry to with all ur problems maybe thats the case? maybe its not the love but the need of someone who u can lean on what do u think? although i can be completely wrong.
i think its an excellent idea for u to join societies and to meet new people ...when i had broken up recently with the jerk my heart was dead i wasnt a happy bunny at all and i can understand ur situation because i know the need of someone wanting to help u in the moment do u not have any close friends u can talk to regarding the issue? i mean i didnt have any close friends to talk to ...i couldnt talk to my parents either boy that time was horrible and it was like suffocating inside a room everyday was hell and pain and its just so difficult to describe it in words.
Your right be selfish about u ...ur no1 in this u come first than any human being on this planet so focus on u and those that care about u ...sometimes its hard to find people just like u but u can find people with similar interests and likings as u ...but take it slow get to know guys for a bit rather than rushing and move on and get to know people ..and joining societies of different kinds is a awesome idea to get to know people and meet them maybe all u need is someone u can trust and cry to with all ur problems maybe thats the case? maybe its not the love but the need of someone who u can lean on what do u think? although i can be completely wrong.
Cheers for the advise.
You're right... no one is going to help me truely get over him. I need to start getting tough with my self. Toughen out as many people have said. Start being selfish a little, I mean, by looking after number 1 (me!).
I'm an emotional wreck right not and sensitive anyway so going round kissing people won't do me any good.
But I dunno, I just want to meet some people like me. I have no idea how to do it. I could join LGBT society but dunno, I just get a bit frightened by over the top camp people. lol
You're right... no one is going to help me truely get over him. I need to start getting tough with my self. Toughen out as many people have said. Start being selfish a little, I mean, by looking after number 1 (me!).
I'm an emotional wreck right not and sensitive anyway so going round kissing people won't do me any good.
But I dunno, I just want to meet some people like me. I have no idea how to do it. I could join LGBT society but dunno, I just get a bit frightened by over the top camp people. lol
Squelchy
If I were you, I'd cut off contact entirely. Being in touch is holding you back.
Agreed, stop talking to him otherwise you will never get over him, yes it is hard to move on but remember why you split with him, he treated you like crap.
Anonymous
Your right be selfish about u ...ur no1 in this u come first than any human being on this planet so focus on u and those that care about u ...sometimes its hard to find people just like u but u can find people with similar interests and likings as u ...but take it slow get to know guys for a bit rather than rushing and move on and get to know people ..and joining societies of different kinds is a awesome idea to get to know people and meet them maybe all u need is someone u can trust and cry to with all ur problems maybe thats the case? maybe its not the love but the need of someone who u can lean on what do u think? although i can be completely wrong.
Your right be selfish about u ...ur no1 in this u come first than any human being on this planet so focus on u and those that care about u ...sometimes its hard to find people just like u but u can find people with similar interests and likings as u ...but take it slow get to know guys for a bit rather than rushing and move on and get to know people ..and joining societies of different kinds is a awesome idea to get to know people and meet them maybe all u need is someone u can trust and cry to with all ur problems maybe thats the case? maybe its not the love but the need of someone who u can lean on what do u think? although i can be completely wrong.
IO can't talk to me mum as she doesn't agree with me (gay). I'm at uni and been seeing a councellor but I need a personal touch to it i.e a friend.
I'm craving for love as well i guess. Probably why I let me self get hurt so much.
Anonymous
You're completely right. I don't trust any of my friends as they haven't really been there to help me with this one. They talk to my ex as though he is a saint, they don't help me to get over him and quiet frankly not bothered with anything I've got to say as they just don't listen. I just need a shoulder to cry onm, someone to talk to whjo will actually listen and understand. There's listening but I prefer understanding as well.
IO can't talk to me mum as she doesn't agree with me (gay). I'm at uni and been seeing a councellor but I need a personal touch to it i.e a friend.
I'm craving for love as well i guess. Probably why I let me self get hurt so much.
IO can't talk to me mum as she doesn't agree with me (gay). I'm at uni and been seeing a councellor but I need a personal touch to it i.e a friend.
I'm craving for love as well i guess. Probably why I let me self get hurt so much.
yes i had the same problem i couldnt and still cant trust any of my "friends" and i wouldnt call your "friends" friends as they show no signs of true friendship but these days its really rare to find a true friend everyone ends up backstabbing u one way or another u need to look for the key elements in friendship which im still looking for
1.) care
2.) would sacrifice for u
3.) would obviously help u and be there for u in no time when things are going wrong
4.) would keep u happy
ofcourse u dont want someone to just listen and be a vegetable u need someone who can help u too and understand ur needs ...mind u theres a lack of understanding in todays society no offence to anyone.
But it is the truth.
Im sure its very difficult for u if u would like i can give u my email address and if u need me id be more than willing to help on the side note i had a councellor she left and i loved her i liked her a lot not in that sensce but she did help me a great deal also does councelling help u anyway? when my councellor left i didnt wnt to see another because i had opened up to her so much that i couldnt bear speaking to another stranger and getting time to know them.
Id say meet new people and forget ur so called friends. as they dont seem like friends they seem like gossip mongerers whatever that is
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