Should i Quit my last EVER CHANCE in College
OK i will cut to the chase
I'm 19, have Social Anxiety & Depression and studying a very difficult access course. This term has been horrible in terms of litterally being seen as the introvert in the class. I foolishly thought i was making friends but the end results sees me being a loner (as usual).
For the past few weeks its been suicide - Teachers are indecisive with me, i was confident i was going to get kicked out but instead i got reprived (despite 50% attendance). People in my class are ignoring me in public, corridors, in lessons, litterally being invisible and i have tried everything from the beginning to change this but it has just flopped and my anxiety can't take this anymore because it makes me feel like such a ****.
I'm considering to quit my dreams of going to uni calling college in January to tell them i have quit
. (I bet all the teachers and students will be celebrating my leaving and saying 'what a weird ****ing prick he was' or 'the loner has left yeahh'). Right now i have been accepted on a saturday music project and maybe it may take me into a professional career
NOTE: Please no rude comments, i will litterally get pissed if you piss me off
I'm 19, have Social Anxiety & Depression and studying a very difficult access course. This term has been horrible in terms of litterally being seen as the introvert in the class. I foolishly thought i was making friends but the end results sees me being a loner (as usual).
For the past few weeks its been suicide - Teachers are indecisive with me, i was confident i was going to get kicked out but instead i got reprived (despite 50% attendance). People in my class are ignoring me in public, corridors, in lessons, litterally being invisible and i have tried everything from the beginning to change this but it has just flopped and my anxiety can't take this anymore because it makes me feel like such a ****.
I'm considering to quit my dreams of going to uni calling college in January to tell them i have quit
. (I bet all the teachers and students will be celebrating my leaving and saying 'what a weird ****ing prick he was' or 'the loner has left yeahh'). Right now i have been accepted on a saturday music project and maybe it may take me into a professional careerNOTE: Please no rude comments, i will litterally get pissed if you piss me off
First, it is NOT your last chance in college and you do NOT have to quit your dreams of going to uni even if you DO drop out of college now. There are access courses, distance learning and opportunities to take your A levels again later in life. If you do feel like you have to quit, please try not to see it as a failure. Youre acknowledging you might not be in the right state of mind right now to study effectively and thats a good thing.
What if any help are you getting with your anxiety and depression? Its probably worth focusing on getting the help you need and getting better right now. I know that seems really hard, maybe even impossibile right now, but I promise you its not.
Well done on being accepted into the music project. I imagine this might be something that will do you some good with your anxiety, depression and self esteem. If it does lead you somewhere, great, but whether it does or not, it doesn't mean you have to give up on your other ambitions..
What if any help are you getting with your anxiety and depression? Its probably worth focusing on getting the help you need and getting better right now. I know that seems really hard, maybe even impossibile right now, but I promise you its not.
Well done on being accepted into the music project. I imagine this might be something that will do you some good with your anxiety, depression and self esteem. If it does lead you somewhere, great, but whether it does or not, it doesn't mean you have to give up on your other ambitions..
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
First, it is NOT your last chance in college and you do NOT have to quit your dreams of going to uni even if you DO drop out of college now. There are access courses, distance learning and opportunities to take your A levels again later in life. If you do feel like you have to quit, please try not to see it as a failure. Youre acknowledging you might not be in the right state of mind right now to study effectively and thats a good thing.
What if any help are you getting with your anxiety and depression? Its probably worth focusing on getting the help you need and getting better right now. I know that seems really hard, maybe even impossibile right now, but I promise you its not.
Well done on being accepted into the music project. I imagine this might be something that will do you some good with your anxiety, depression and self esteem. If it does lead you somewhere, great, but whether it does or not, it doesn't mean you have to give up on your other ambitions..
What if any help are you getting with your anxiety and depression? Its probably worth focusing on getting the help you need and getting better right now. I know that seems really hard, maybe even impossibile right now, but I promise you its not.
Well done on being accepted into the music project. I imagine this might be something that will do you some good with your anxiety, depression and self esteem. If it does lead you somewhere, great, but whether it does or not, it doesn't mean you have to give up on your other ambitions..
What if i told you this was my third attempt at College? and then after three attempts i'm still stuck on the same outcast life in college?
I don't really want to quit college as i hate my family with a passion and uni is the only way out. I hate help because it doesn't work so right now im on antidepressants but so far it has not work.
Just because its your third attempt, it doesn't mean it has to be your last. Plenty of people continue their education later in life... If you really don't want to quit then don't ultimately its your choice. You know what you're capable of and what you want out of life better than we do. Perhaps the music opportunity you have might be just what you need. Perhaps a break from the education system would do you good. Does the college/6th form know about your mental health? You can get help with that such as extra considerations in exams and extra time if you speak to the right people. I had depression when I was doing my A levels and I had this help because I sought it out. I wouldn't have managed without it.
What help have you actually tried? and how do you think it doesn't work. Remeber for the most part its not something that someone else can do for you. No one can just take all your problems away from you. It takes a lot of work on your part and you have to be willing to do a lot to help yourself. The purpose of antidepressants is to lift you to the point where you're more able to see things rationally than emotionally and help to motivate you a little more to do more to help yourself. If you feel your current antidepressants aren't doing that, go back to your doctor and discuss trying something else. Its often a trial and error thing. If you're on antidepressants alone and you feel you need more, discuss a referral to therapy or mental health services. Unfortunately, the NHS tends to be quite crap with mental health, and you might have to go back again and again to finally get some help that works for you, which I know is the last thing you feel like doing, but I do encourage you to keep pushing until you find something that does help you. Its entirely possible that you might have some more complex problems than just depression and anxiety that needs more tailored help for you. The biggest key to mental health recovery is yourself though.
There is really only so much that anyone can say to you, I've made you aware of the options you have, ultimately its up to you how you move forward. Try not to be dismissive to people trying to help you
What help have you actually tried? and how do you think it doesn't work. Remeber for the most part its not something that someone else can do for you. No one can just take all your problems away from you. It takes a lot of work on your part and you have to be willing to do a lot to help yourself. The purpose of antidepressants is to lift you to the point where you're more able to see things rationally than emotionally and help to motivate you a little more to do more to help yourself. If you feel your current antidepressants aren't doing that, go back to your doctor and discuss trying something else. Its often a trial and error thing. If you're on antidepressants alone and you feel you need more, discuss a referral to therapy or mental health services. Unfortunately, the NHS tends to be quite crap with mental health, and you might have to go back again and again to finally get some help that works for you, which I know is the last thing you feel like doing, but I do encourage you to keep pushing until you find something that does help you. Its entirely possible that you might have some more complex problems than just depression and anxiety that needs more tailored help for you. The biggest key to mental health recovery is yourself though.
There is really only so much that anyone can say to you, I've made you aware of the options you have, ultimately its up to you how you move forward. Try not to be dismissive to people trying to help you
Original post by Anonymous
What if i told you this was my third attempt at College? and then after three attempts i'm still stuck on the same outcast life in college?
I don't really want to quit college as i hate my family with a passion and uni is the only way out. I hate help because it doesn't work so right now im on antidepressants but so far it has not work.
I don't really want to quit college as i hate my family with a passion and uni is the only way out. I hate help because it doesn't work so right now im on antidepressants but so far it has not work.
Well to be honest, that would suggest that at each time you have accepted that you were not quite in the right mind to continue your college education, but you keep trying.
Have you managed to confide, in someone, anyone, at the college of your fears? If people are ignoring you, is it because they don't know you?
All that I'm seeing is a vicious circle...the anxiety is affecting your ability to go to class, and to forge ties in the class and college, affecting your attendance, but that leads to a situation where you are then seen as a loner because you are hardly at class, which in turn leads to anxiety about the class and how they will act, etc.
Have you recently changed medication or anything? And if so, how has it affected things?
You can't quit college because of people. I can assure you that even though they are ignoring you they are not thinking about you negatively or otherwise.
3 attempts / 30 attempts / 300 attempts. What matters is that you have kept trying, why give up now? If you do quit there is a 0% chance they will celebrate, it will be a non-event for them regardless of who leaves, whether it be you or someone 'popular'.
I did an Access Course as well...so I know that you probably finish by May right? You've literally come half way now, to give it up would be a sin. I barely spoke to anyone on mine either and I was not the youngest, nor the oldest, I was in the middle. I think it's just one of those things. I made one good friend out of it, the rest I barely spoke to. You can't measure your success based on the friends you have.
Just be sure to pick something at University that you have an interest/passion for. If you don't, your time may be even worse than just sticking with your family (even though you hate them).
3 attempts / 30 attempts / 300 attempts. What matters is that you have kept trying, why give up now? If you do quit there is a 0% chance they will celebrate, it will be a non-event for them regardless of who leaves, whether it be you or someone 'popular'.
I did an Access Course as well...so I know that you probably finish by May right? You've literally come half way now, to give it up would be a sin. I barely spoke to anyone on mine either and I was not the youngest, nor the oldest, I was in the middle. I think it's just one of those things. I made one good friend out of it, the rest I barely spoke to. You can't measure your success based on the friends you have.
Just be sure to pick something at University that you have an interest/passion for. If you don't, your time may be even worse than just sticking with your family (even though you hate them).
Original post by MaseratiJay
You can't quit college because of people. I can assure you that even though they are ignoring you they are not thinking about you negatively or otherwise.
3 attempts / 30 attempts / 300 attempts. What matters is that you have kept trying, why give up now? If you do quit there is a 0% chance they will celebrate, it will be a non-event for them regardless of who leaves, whether it be you or someone 'popular'.
I did an Access Course as well...so I know that you probably finish by May right? You've literally come half way now, to give it up would be a sin. I barely spoke to anyone on mine either and I was not the youngest, nor the oldest, I was in the middle. I think it's just one of those things. I made one good friend out of it, the rest I barely spoke to. You can't measure your success based on the friends you have.
Just be sure to pick something at University that you have an interest/passion for. If you don't, your time may be even worse than just sticking with your family (even though you hate them).
3 attempts / 30 attempts / 300 attempts. What matters is that you have kept trying, why give up now? If you do quit there is a 0% chance they will celebrate, it will be a non-event for them regardless of who leaves, whether it be you or someone 'popular'.
I did an Access Course as well...so I know that you probably finish by May right? You've literally come half way now, to give it up would be a sin. I barely spoke to anyone on mine either and I was not the youngest, nor the oldest, I was in the middle. I think it's just one of those things. I made one good friend out of it, the rest I barely spoke to. You can't measure your success based on the friends you have.
Just be sure to pick something at University that you have an interest/passion for. If you don't, your time may be even worse than just sticking with your family (even though you hate them).
How did you cope With people not speaking to you? and it will be the last time realistically if i was to quit or to get kicked out. Sadly i'm not too sure if i can continue being a Loner or if my mental stress can take people blatenly just ignoring me. I know they don't hate me (In fact they think of Nothing of me).
Original post by jammy4041
All that I'm seeing is a vicious circle...the anxiety is affecting your ability to go to class, and to forge ties in the class and college, affecting your attendance, but that leads to a situation where you are then seen as a loner because you are hardly at class, which in turn leads to anxiety about the class and how they will act, etc.
Have you recently changed medication or anything? And if so, how has it affected things?
Have you recently changed medication or anything? And if so, how has it affected things?
It IS a vicious cycle and i have tried changed everything from being a weirdo to just being a freak and this doesn't work at all.
I might change medication in the new year but i doubt this would change anything
My teachers know my problem but i have said in the post, they act unpredictable with me and i dont blame them - Depression is a disease
Original post by Anonymous
How did you cope With people not speaking to you? and it will be the last time realistically if i was to quit or to get kicked out. Sadly i'm not too sure if i can continue being a Loner or if my mental stress can take people blatenly just ignoring me. I know they don't hate me (In fact they think of Nothing of me).
To be honest, I used to think 'what if they think I'm a loner' but do you know what?
An access course is less than a year of your life, more like 8 months. You'll probably never see these people again.
You are all there with one goal - UNI! So no one even has time to be thinking about what he/she did or who s(he)'s with.
Eventually I spoke to one person, pretty much by accident and then we starting talking. The rest was more like a nod or hi to acknowledge them and then that would be it.
Can I ask you a question? You've said you know they don't hate you right? So why not strike up a conversation? It doesn't have to be anything too taxing..maybe just talk to them about an assignment you have? Or a concept mentioned in class you don't understand? (Or even if you do get it, pretend you don't so they can talk to you).
What about being alone do you not like? Is it you don't like your own company all the time or is it you feel people are judging you or?
If you can't cope at college, have you considered doing an Open University certificate instead? Many universities accept them instead of A levels/Access courses. You will be able to study at home with online support so your social anxiety will not be an issue.
Original post by Snufkin
If you can't cope at college, have you considered doing an Open University certificate instead? Many universities accept them instead of A levels/Access courses. You will be able to study at home with online support so your social anxiety will not be an issue.
I have considered the open university and i felt thats not for me. The aim is really to go to uni to leave my family once and for all as trying to move out at 19 looks really strange and difficult
Original post by Anonymous
I have considered the open university and i felt thats not for me. The aim is really to go to uni to leave my family once and for all as trying to move out at 19 looks really strange and difficult
I understand that but you can use the Open University to get you to a brick university. That's what I have done - I couldn't go to college to do an Access course so I did a Certificate of Higher Education with the OU and then applied to other universities through UCAS, they all accepted me. You can do the same. It is certainly an option worth thinking about, especially if you are finding being at college so hard.
Original post by MaseratiJay
To be honest, I used to think 'what if they think I'm a loner' but do you know what?
An access course is less than a year of your life, more like 8 months. You'll probably never see these people again.
You are all there with one goal - UNI! So no one even has time to be thinking about what he/she did or who s(he)'s with.
Eventually I spoke to one person, pretty much by accident and then we starting talking. The rest was more like a nod or hi to acknowledge them and then that would be it.
Can I ask you a question? You've said you know they don't hate you right? So why not strike up a conversation? It doesn't have to be anything too taxing..maybe just talk to them about an assignment you have? Or a concept mentioned in class you don't understand? (Or even if you do get it, pretend you don't so they can talk to you).
What about being alone do you not like? Is it you don't like your own company all the time or is it you feel people are judging you or?
An access course is less than a year of your life, more like 8 months. You'll probably never see these people again.
You are all there with one goal - UNI! So no one even has time to be thinking about what he/she did or who s(he)'s with.
Eventually I spoke to one person, pretty much by accident and then we starting talking. The rest was more like a nod or hi to acknowledge them and then that would be it.
Can I ask you a question? You've said you know they don't hate you right? So why not strike up a conversation? It doesn't have to be anything too taxing..maybe just talk to them about an assignment you have? Or a concept mentioned in class you don't understand? (Or even if you do get it, pretend you don't so they can talk to you).
What about being alone do you not like? Is it you don't like your own company all the time or is it you feel people are judging you or?
It seems trying to talk to people in my course (in any college i've been to) has failed. I blame it on poor personality. Being a loner makes the huge situation worse because people will be judging. Only talking to two people in a class of 32 makes me think 'should i seriously continue?' when im constantly undermined by others.
Many people deal their loneliness in different ways, i deal with it with suicidal thinking because i have had a history of being a ******* in life
Original post by Anonymous
It seems trying to talk to people in my course (in any college i've been to) has failed. I blame it on poor personality. Being a loner makes the huge situation worse because people will be judging. Only talking to two people in a class of 32 makes me think 'should i seriously continue?' when im constantly undermined by others.
Many people deal their loneliness in different ways, i deal with it with suicidal thinking because i have had a history of being a ******* in life
Many people deal their loneliness in different ways, i deal with it with suicidal thinking because i have had a history of being a ******* in life
I wouldn't blame yourself. I personally would make extra effort with anyone who approached me with conversation so it may just be the people at college.
I wouldn't class myself as a loner nor extrovert, more of an introvert if I had to choose.
When I did my course I spoke to about 2 / 40 so it is pretty much same as you. I'm at Uni now with a handful of friends. Without the course I would not even be here.
How do they undermine you? Do they laugh when you answer questions? Spread rumours? Throw things at you?
I can tell it is rough for you but think of the other side of it..if you don't complete it what will you do and how will this make you feel? That may motivate you to continue.
By November I had lost all interest in the course because I hadn't studied in a little while and most of the lessons were an actual waste of time. But the time flew after December!
Well, my inbox is always open if you need a chat, and I mean that with the greatest of sincerity.
Thank you for people who have commented on this situation. My mind has now turned into a bipolar case as i can't decide if i should continue for January or that should i do random Careers. so my mind, as you can say, is quite unstable atm.
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