To have sex or not to have sex

Ok.. I have had two serious long term relationships in my life that have lasted for a good few years I am now 21 and I have been talking to this boy who's 3 years older than me for 7 months we've been out quite a few times and were quite close, I really like him and I'm considering to start taking things further, he's hinted on but isn't pushy about it, we text nearly every day.
Although I'm just scared as one of his friends said a while back he was texting / sort of seeing someone else but it wasn't serious, but when Ive asked him this he's denied it and is still happy to see me and text me.
Although I do have a male friend who I'm very close to as friends and the person I like asked my friend when he was drunk and we were all out together if anything was going on between us even though I've told the person I like that were friends why would he ask him that?

Does Any 1 have any advice on how to do this or what to do everytime I pluck the courage to ask him over I go cold and don't ask him and I don't know if this is due to doubts I may have of this girl he is suppose to be texting even though he says he isn't. Or weather im scared to really take things further I just don't want to get hurt.

Reply 1

Tarims

Original post by bdeans

Ok.. I have had two serious long term relationships in my life that have lasted for a good few years I am now 21 and I have been talking to this boy who's 3 years older than me for 7 months we've been out quite a few times and were quite close, I really like him and I'm considering to start taking things further, he's hinted on but isn't pushy about it, we text nearly every day.
Although I'm just scared as one of his friends said a while back he was texting / sort of seeing someone else but it wasn't serious, but when Ive asked him this he's denied it and is still happy to see me and text me.
Although I do have a male friend who I'm very close to as friends and the person I like asked my friend when he was drunk and we were all out together if anything was going on between us even though I've told the person I like that were friends why would he ask him that?

Does Any 1 have any advice on how to do this or what to do everytime I pluck the courage to ask him over I go cold and don't ask him and I don't know if this is due to doubts I may have of this girl he is suppose to be texting even though he says he isn't. Or weather im scared to really take things further I just don't want to get hurt.

I definitely think that you should go and pluck the courage and talk to him about your relationship and where u guys stand, and if there's any problems e.g. no sex then he should be able to tell you about it and you guys should be able to discuss it. It a basically depends how your relationship is with him, if you guys are a couple then you should make it official to avoid confusion and if you guys are not then at least you wont get hurt and yo can move onto better things.

Reply 2

sliceofcake

15

Why are you wondering about having sex with him, you really don't seem sure about the idea. Do you feel you have to for some reason? Is it pressure you're applying to yourself? I don't think you should have sex unless you're confident about your relationship with someone.

Reply 3

Retired_Messiah

21

If you wanna have sex with this bloke then go for it. If not, then don't.

Psh

Reply 4

Teenage Playboy

If he's texting you every you nearly every day then he's definitely interested you. The fact that he asked if you and your male friend have anything going on is a good thing! You've been talking for 7 months, if there's a time to take things further, it's now. The longer you leave it the more attached you're going to get and the more its going to hurt if something happens. If it doesn't go to plan then atleast you know where you stand.

As I've said, from what you've written, he definitely seems interested into you so I would just go for it. I've taken numerous risks in relationships over the years, and I've rarely regretted them.