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muslim girls and boyfriends

I really want to go out with someone in sixth form but because of my religion and culture -I definitely stand no chance of even talking to him

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Loads of Muslim girls have boyfriends and stuff so that shouldn't keep you from talking to him :smile:
What? You think he's turned off by your religion and culture or do you think that it's sinful to have him as a boyfriend?
Original post by miss Peace
I really want to go out with someone in sixth form but because of my religion and culture -I definitely stand no chance of even talking to him

What's wrong with your religion and culture?
If it's what you want and it won't harm you then go for it and as long as you're sensible about it; you'll hopefully be ok. :smile:

I reckon many younger muslims need to do more for themselves. They're caught between these clashing identities and don't know how to cope sometimes and the result is that we often times lose out on some of their potential; of course this isn't just them, it's inclusive of other minorities who experience similar culture clashes.


Spoiler

(edited 9 years ago)
Loads of Muslim girls and guys are in relationships these days despite their faith, I'm surprised you can't even talk to him lol. Are you sure it's culture and religion stopping you and not your social skills?
Reply 6
Astacfirullah... tauba tauba?

Now you can go snog him?
Reply 7
don't really want to go against my religion, but I'm like sooooo tempted :confused:
Original post by miss Peace
don't really want to go against my religion, but I'm like sooooo tempted :confused:


Basically for anyone not understanding so far, her religion doesn't allow relationships outside of marriage.

You have a crush on him, this is normal for girls your age.

We're all weak human beings. None of us can be sinless.

What will your parents say, I'm sure you don't want to upset them?

1 thing you must remember; that guy WILL eventually break up with you, and you'll be hurt so why bother?

The decision is yours at the end of the day, choose carefully between the haram and halal.
Sounds like you need to drop your religion.
Sounds risky,I know how strict islam can be
Reply 11
thanks for all your replies, I think it's just a phase that I'm going through, but the truth is i really don't want to hurt my parents
Reply 12
Send a proposal to his parents?
Reply 13
are you being for real- that's like suicide! plus he's not of the same culture
Original post by Anonymous
Basically for anyone not understanding so far, her religion doesn't allow relationships outside of marriage.


Yet I know loads of muslims who do. I know muslims who have had/are having affairs. I know muslims who drink. Basically I have never met someone who is religious who doesn't pick and chose which parts of the faith they want to follow, and ignore the rest. Why on earth would anyone follow such a ridiculous approach to relationships? It's basically the route to an unhappy marriage as you won't have spent time beforehand getting to know the person and checking your compatible.

OP: realistically would any god who loves you insist on such a load of nonsense? The answer is no.

Original post by Anonymous
You have a crush on him, this is normal for girls your age.

We're all weak human beings. None of us can be sinless.

What will your parents say, I'm sure you don't want to upset them?


Being attracted to someone is not weakness. It is not a sin. It is normal, human behaviour. OP should embrace that, not think there's anything wrong with it.

If their parents have a problem with it then that's their problem for being bigoted zealots.


Original post by Anonymous
1 thing you must remember; that guy WILL eventually break up with you, and you'll be hurt so why bother?


What drivel. You lead a truly tragic life if you can't see why people bother with relationships. There's no basis at all for saying he'll split up with her.


Original post by Anonymous
The decision is yours at the end of the day, choose carefully between the haram and halal.


OP your choice is actually between a form of extremist bigotry as advocated by the individual I'm quoting, or a more pragmatic and realistic approach. A lot of British muslims have boyfriends/girlfriends, that doesn't make them terrible people, it makes them normal human beings enjoying each others company and hopefully finding happiness. You can make boundaries in a relationship to preserve your values- e.g. no sex before marriage and the like- without having to follow a ridiculous "no relationship without marriage" approach.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Sounds like you need to drop your religion.


For some guy? What if he's a prick?
Reply 16
you know your totally right what if he is actually a real ****head, i mean i only have a crush on him
Original post by miss Peace
you know your totally right what if he is actually a real ****head, i mean i only have a crush on him


Or what if he turns out to stay with you until death does you apart.

I think this is a good time to intellectually reflect on why you are being told by your parents, your society, maybe your culture and your religion to not pursue sexual relationships.

Is there a good reason? If so do it. If not? Grow up and act like an independent individual and do what is best your happiness even if that means upsetting your parents. I had parents like this and sometimes if you don't fight them you will feel like **** for all your life. Forced to live a way you don't want to because you feel some obligation to obey them even though they birthed you and you had no choice as to who your parents were.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 18
Original post by TorpidPhil
Or what if he turns out to stay with you until death does you apart.

I think this is a good time to intellectually reflect on why you are being told by your parents, your society, maybe your culture and your religion to not pursue sexual relationships.

Is there a good reason? If so do it. If not? Grow up and act like an independent individual and do what is best your happiness even if that means upsetting your parents. I had parents like this and sometimes if you don't fight them you will feel like **** for all your life. Forced to live a way you don't want to because you feel some obligation to obey them even though they birthed you and you had no choice as to who your parents were.


I get what your trying to say, but I don't really know if i like him that much-I suppose I just want someone to go out with- like have someone to look forward to seeing and for him to treat me like im special:frown:
The first mistake you made is asking a bunch of bone heads here about something they don't even know about. Second, you shouldn't let your feelings get the bettet of you. Remember its always a testement feom Allah so don't stray from your path and keep on following the right path of Islam and don't waste your time here.

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