I'm really awkward/shy at uni..

I'm an 18 year old girl on my first year at university. I have friends and I've made some really good friends at uni too. The thing is, when I'm in a new environment so stood outside the lecture hall where there's nobody I know, I just stand alone, on my phone or something and seem really anti-social, I literally CANNOT bring myself to talk to anybody else. I will then go into my lecture and choose to sit on my own in a corner.

I don't think I'm that awkward though because when I'm forced to work with people, I usually end up coming right out of my shell, talking openly about everything and we usually end up laughing so much, we get each others numbers, hang out etc, this has happened multiple times. It seems I'm extremely shy normally until someone talks to me, then I don't know I just become really confident. I don't know what to do or why I'm just randomly really shy to the point where I blush.. then I'm confident all of a sudden.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

The first day I moved into halls for example, I FORCED myself to be really confident so I spoke to all my flatmates, introduced myself to the others and dominated most of the conversation and came across all confident really. The next day, I went back to being me and stayed in my room not wanting to socialise with anybody at all. It's really holding me back.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

This sounds like me!! I'm in first year of uni and this could be me word for word. I'm shy normally until someone talks to me then I'm quite chatty, make jokes etc. Its the whole trying to build that confidence to start a convo without having to force every fibre in your body to go do it. It comes so easily to some people but not me. I don't mean to be anti social but I sometimes can come across like that when I'm sitting in the back corner (only because the corner makes me feel cosy and safe, if that makes sense?)

I have to admit though, I do enjoy my own company and am an introvert. So that's probably why I'm like this. I feel like it's holding me back too so it will be interesting to see what sort of advice you get :smile:

Reply 3

shawn_o1

21

Original post by Anonymous

The first day I moved into halls for example, I FORCED myself to be really confident so I spoke to all my flatmates, introduced myself to the others and dominated most of the conversation and came across all confident really. The next day, I went back to being me and stayed in my room not wanting to socialise with anybody at all. It's really holding me back.

Keep doing that :smile:

Have you opened up to some of your flatmates about this? You have to make sure they understand or that stigma will bite you in the back forever

Reply 4

coconuthead--

11

I was just like that at 16...couldn't evrn speak on the phone. Now I'm 18 have the biggest confidence everr!!!

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Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

This sounds like me!! I'm in first year of uni and this could be me word for word. I'm shy normally until someone talks to me then I'm quite chatty, make jokes etc. Its the whole trying to build that confidence to start a convo without having to force every fibre in your body to go do it. It comes so easily to some people but not me. I don't mean to be anti social but I sometimes can come across like that when I'm sitting in the back corner (only because the corner makes me feel cosy and safe, if that makes sense?)

I have to admit though, I do enjoy my own company and am an introvert. So that's probably why I'm like this. I feel like it's holding me back too so it will be interesting to see what sort of advice you get :smile:

I totally understand you. I actually can relate to the idea of a quiet corner looking more cosy and safer than sitting right in the middle of the lecture theatre. I'm really introverted too and actually do like being on my own a lot, I just find it easier to get on with my own things whether that is just studying or listening to music without interruptions. I'd work on my own in group tasks too if I could because then I'd be able to do things my own way and I'd be forced to pay more attention because I can't just rely on my group partners to listen and share the workload. I could force myself to go up and talk to someone, but it just makes me ucomfortable, I'd rather just sit alone and mind my own business haha.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by shawn_o1

Keep doing that :smile:

Have you opened up to some of your flatmates about this? You have to make sure they understand or that stigma will bite you in the back forever

I haven't really spoke to them about it, I have known them for months now so I find it very easy to just talk to them normally and I don't feel shy around them, I don't think they even realise how shy I am in reality because I've always made an effort with them as in greeting them, asking how their day was, sitting with them.. all that as opposed to staying in my room. It seems to be in uni classes I get the most shy.

Reply 7

Anonymous #3

I'm a first year uni student too and this is exactly how i'm like
I rarely speak to people on my course outside lectures and I sit alone so I can concentrate better.
My social life only started this semester because I went along with my flatmates to clubs and bars and went to society events. The people on my course would probably be surprised if they found out that I'm this outgoing.

Reply 8

Anonymous #4

I used to be the very same, believe me. But what I did was change the way I view things and it has made my life so much better, I am more confident and feel like I can speak to people/do anything I want. When it comes to speaking to new people, think about it from their point of view. If someone really nice came up to you speak, you would find that really nice, no? So if you approach someone and have a nice, normal conversation with nice genuine people they can really only enjoy your company. It takes something the first time you do it, but once you do it once you can only grow and grow from there.

Just be nice, talkative and you will be fine. :smile:

hope this helped

I'm really awkward/shy at uni..

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