heya. i've been at uni for about a week and a half. and i really wanna go home lol.
the living situation is kinda hard for me right now. i'm very introverted and i have anxiety. my flatmates all seem nice, but i just feel like the odd one out because i dont drink (not a big deal i know lol but i can only be called boring because i dont by some of them so many times before it starts to get a bit annoying) and just going into the kitchen/toilet or leaving my room in general just fills me with dread and anxiety. we have 1 small oven between the 10 of us so i've been way too scared to use it because what if someone else wants to use it? and also more time in the kitchen is terrifying to me! and i'm worrying about so many other silly little details like bins and stuff.
i haven't made any friends. even though i'm terrified, i have been talking with people (e.g flatmates, neighbors etc). only had one class so far but spoke to some people in there, and that was great! but nothing more has come of it. that's been the case with most people i've managed to introduce myself to. and i am definitely not one for clubbing, so making friends through that is out of the question for me. there were some day time events, i went to 1 but everyone was in huge groups. i was too nervous to go to the others. there's a society fair soon, and i desperately want to go but i feel so silly just...going on my own.
i've been crying a lot, and spending lots of days just on my bed staring at the ceiling. i just want to drop out and go home tbh. i'm so lonely and anxious and fnjvhjdfgf. but the thing is, i really do want this degree. it seems really good. but i don't know how i'm going to survive this first year without losing my mind haha. anyway thank you for reading my ramble or whatever.