Are obnoxious guys worth going for?
Would you try and get the guy who's biggest flaw is that he thinks too highly of himself or save the embarrassment?
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Original post by shawn_o1
I thought "obnoxious" is a bad trait
Yes OP it's a recipe for disaster. Just tell him to go **** himself
No but seriously why are you even considering it if he's obnoxious? What does he do that's obnoxious?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Ebony19
It is, that's what she's saying.
Yes OP it's a recipe for disaster. Just tell him to go **** himself
No but seriously why are you even considering it if he's obnoxious? What does he do that's obnoxious?
Yes OP it's a recipe for disaster. Just tell him to go **** himself
No but seriously why are you even considering it if he's obnoxious? What does he do that's obnoxious?
Not towards me but if he thinks he's better than someone, he will show it. We have a lot in common and have a laugh together but the way he treats other people (even when he doesn't know them) is disgusting
Does he actually have something to tangible driving his behaviour like for example lots of money or incredible looks? If so then he's what you call confident.
A good looking man with a PhD from Harvard and a net worth of 100m dollars who screams "I am better than everybody else" is generally right (read: always). That's not being obnoxious but proud and accurate with your standing and achievements.
An average person with little going for them who treats others wih disdain is obnoxious. They have no right to be that way. If your bf fits in this category then dump him .
A good looking man with a PhD from Harvard and a net worth of 100m dollars who screams "I am better than everybody else" is generally right (read: always). That's not being obnoxious but proud and accurate with your standing and achievements.
An average person with little going for them who treats others wih disdain is obnoxious. They have no right to be that way. If your bf fits in this category then dump him .
Original post by Mike9910
Does he actually have something to tangible driving his behaviour like for example lots of money or incredible looks? If so then he's what you call confident.
A good looking man with a PhD from Harvard and a net worth of 100m dollars who screams "I am better than everybody else" is generally right (read: always). That's not being obnoxious but proud and accurate with your standing and achievements.
An average person with little going for them who treats others wih disdain is obnoxious. They have no right to be that way.If your bf fits in this category then dump him .
A good looking man with a PhD from Harvard and a net worth of 100m dollars who screams "I am better than everybody else" is generally right (read: always). That's not being obnoxious but proud and accurate with your standing and achievements.
An average person with little going for them who treats others wih disdain is obnoxious. They have no right to be that way.If your bf fits in this category then dump him .
He is very clever and is going on to study medicine.
Original post by Anonymous
Not towards me but if he thinks he's better than someone, he will show it. We have a lot in common and have a laugh together but the way he treats other people (even when he doesn't know them) is disgusting
"If a person is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person."
Original post by Anonymous
He is very clever and is going on to study medicine.
Don't go for it - he seems like a bad person to me. Also looking down on those he considers his inferiors is a very bad trait in medicine - if you don't go out with him because of his obnoxiousness then this might spur him on to change and become a better person, and a better doctor.
Original post by mitymiget
Don't go for it - he seems like a bad person to me. Also looking down on those he considers his inferiors is a very bad trait in medicine - if you don't go out with him because of his obnoxiousness then this might spur him on to change and become a better person, and a better doctor.
So average people here are told to overinflate Their self esteem by telling themselves they're awesome and beautiful when they're only average yet someone who actually has the credits to legitimately feel good about themselves can't have a self esteem that corresponds to their lofty standing ?
If he's truely really smart then he is superior to most people and he deserves to show it.
Original post by CherryWine
"If a person is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person."
Nice is hardly a virtuous trait anyway. Most people only judge you on how well you treat your family and friends. We live in an individualistic society.
So long as he treats her well I think he is a good prospect as a boyfriend. But it depends on what OP wants.
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
Original post by Mike9910
So average people here are told to overinflate Their self esteem by telling themselves they're awesome and beautiful when they're only average yet someone who actually has the credits to legitimately feel good about themselves can't have a self esteem that corresponds to their lofty standing ?
If he's truely really smart then he is superior to most people and he deserves to show it.
If he's truely really smart then he is superior to most people and he deserves to show it.
I agree that everybody should have a healthy self-esteem. However, there are many ways that this self-esteem can be shown to the outside world - it doesn't have to be through acting superior to others. I think that a true show of somebody's 'superiority' would be if they don't have to constantly belittle others, or brag and big themselves up. Can't he show his superiority through his achievements rather than his posturing?
Original post by Mike9910
Nice is hardly a virtuous trait anyway. Most people only judge you on how well you treat your family and friends. We live in an individualistic society.
So long as he treats her well I think he is a good prospect as a boyfriend. But it depends on what OP wants.
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
So long as he treats her well I think he is a good prospect as a boyfriend. But it depends on what OP wants.
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
I think it sounds like you're intelligent, but quite arrogant and pessimistic as a person. Are you trying to convince OP to go out with people like yourself?
At the end of the day if a guy treats you well but is obnoxious, I wouldn't go for it. It's two-faced, and a telling sign that once he gets something out of you his treatment of you will lower - he'll start making back-handed comments, making you feel insecure, making you feel inferior to him.
You just need to leave him alone when it comes to dating, and just be a friend. Don't bridge that gap. Fairytales don't exist, but good people do.
Original post by Mike9910
Nice is hardly a virtuous trait anyway. Most people only judge you on how well you treat your family and friends. We live in an individualistic society.
So long as he treats her well I think he is a good prospect as a boyfriend. But it depends on what OP wants.
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
So long as he treats her well I think he is a good prospect as a boyfriend. But it depends on what OP wants.
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
Being nice is definitely a virtuous trait and it doesn't take much to be polite to somebody. Why would you go out of your way to be rude to somebody that hasn't offended you in any way? Yes nobody is perfect, but there is no need to think you are above somebody because their income isn't as high as yours. For all you know they could be extremely well educated, but are working in a job that suits their circumstances.
Original post by Expired Potato
Fairytales don't exist, but good people do.
^ this
Original post by Mike9910
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
I've dated dumb blonde types well below my income level and education before just because they were hot - I knew these relationahips were flawed but I still got allot out of them. Fairytales don't exist in the real world: you'll never find the perfect partner.
Allowing for a bit of rudeness and arrogance in a guy that is otherwise smart and interesting seems like a good deal to me.
OP this guy seems to have waffled an awful lot and if you can learn anything from his posts it'll be "never take advice about an ******** from an ********"
Original post by Mike9910
Does he actually have something to tangible driving his behaviour like for example lots of money or incredible looks? If so then he's what you call confident.
A good looking man with a PhD from Harvard and a net worth of 100m dollars who screams "I am better than everybody else" is generally right (read: always). That's not being obnoxious but proud and accurate with your standing and achievements.
An average person with little going for them who treats others wih disdain is obnoxious. They have no right to be that way. If your bf fits in this category then dump him .
A good looking man with a PhD from Harvard and a net worth of 100m dollars who screams "I am better than everybody else" is generally right (read: always). That's not being obnoxious but proud and accurate with your standing and achievements.
An average person with little going for them who treats others wih disdain is obnoxious. They have no right to be that way. If your bf fits in this category then dump him .
That's not okay.
Get real mate I don't know what level of privilege you've been brought up in but this is not the way society works nowadays. A lot of people have worked hella hard to stamp out outdated attitudes like yours over the centuries and you casually reinvoke them. No, seriously everyone has a right to be treated with respect whether they're caught in a cycle of deprivation or they're living off mummy, daddy and pony.
Original post by mitymiget
I agree that everybody should have a healthy self-esteem. However, there are many ways that this self-esteem can be shown to the outside world - it doesn't have to be through acting superior to others. I think that a true show of somebody's 'superiority' would be if they don't have to constantly belittle others, or brag and big themselves up. Can't he show his superiority through his achievements rather than his posturing?
He could but maybe he doesn't want to? If he truely is as capable and successful as OP says then the ball is in his court.
The popular, pretty girl who bullies other girls doesn't always have self esteem issues or other personal failings you know. Some people just like advertising their power over others for gratuitous reasons , or perhaps they get a thrill from it.
Whatever the case I truely think the guy in question is good boyfriend material. I'm sure over time he will mellow as he matures while his selling points will remain. How often will you get to date a medical student with a bit of strut to him?
Original post by Mike9910
He could but maybe he doesn't want to? If he truely is as capable and successful as OP says then the ball is in his court.
The popular, pretty girl who bullies other girls doesn't always have self esteem issues or other personal failings you know. Some people just like advertising their power over others for gratuitous reasons , or perhaps they get a thrill from it.
Whatever the case I truely think the guy in question is good boyfriend material. I'm sure over time he will mellow as he matures while his selling points will remain. How often will you get to date a medical student with a bit of strut to him?
The popular, pretty girl who bullies other girls doesn't always have self esteem issues or other personal failings you know. Some people just like advertising their power over others for gratuitous reasons , or perhaps they get a thrill from it.
Whatever the case I truely think the guy in question is good boyfriend material. I'm sure over time he will mellow as he matures while his selling points will remain. How often will you get to date a medical student with a bit of strut to him?
More likely that over time, once he's in his comfort zone, he will begin to belittle the OP and make her feel like she is beneath him. It's what people like this feed off, they constantly point out people's downfalls so they can feel better about themselves.
Original post by Mike9910
He could but maybe he doesn't want to? If he truely is as capable and successful as OP says then the ball is in his court.
The popular, pretty girl who bullies other girls doesn't always have self esteem issues or other personal failings you know. Some people just like advertising their power over others for gratuitous reasons , or perhaps they get a thrill from it.
Whatever the case I truely think the guy in question is good boyfriend material. I'm sure over time he will mellow as he matures while his selling points will remain. How often will you get to date a medical student with a bit of strut to him?
The popular, pretty girl who bullies other girls doesn't always have self esteem issues or other personal failings you know. Some people just like advertising their power over others for gratuitous reasons , or perhaps they get a thrill from it.
Whatever the case I truely think the guy in question is good boyfriend material. I'm sure over time he will mellow as he matures while his selling points will remain. How often will you get to date a medical student with a bit of strut to him?
I understand what you're saying, but what I'm saying that even if their sense of self-worth is warranted, their acts - their bullying/boasting/rudeness/whatever -aren't. They show that (in my eyes) they're a bad person and I wouldn't recommend them as a boyfriend.
Also there are a lot of medical students and future medical students - going out with a bad one just for the supposed prestige isn't worth it. Why not find a person who's actually nice?
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