My guy wont open up!

I love sharing details about my day, my feeling and my struggles with my guy. We have been together almost a year now and he has always seemed to struggle to talk about things. When I try to encourage him I get " I just dont know what to say" or very blunt answers such as " no not done anything today". I know I sound like a typical girlfriend ,but it is the one thing that bothers me in the relationship. Any advice? Is this my problem or his?

Reply 1

sufferin succotash

10

Be more specific with your questions? What do you to get from hearing about his day? It's frustrating when people have nothing to say, instead of asking perhaps wait for him to say something.

I used to ask my friend what he'd been up to and he'd say not much.
Half an hour later he'd mention something hilarious that happened at work.
Often when things are forced it can be quite difficult for people to sort of describe what they've done with their day. Relax and maybe he'll relax and conversation will flow !

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

KingStannis

3

men don't really care about bitching about every detail about their day. it's tedious and boring.

I heard that while girls use language to develop relationships, boys use it to convey information. If nothing note worthy has happened, there is no need for him to talk about his day.

So think, is what you want him to say funny, informative, useful, interesting? If not, then no man particularly wants to share it.

Be thankful he listens to your day. Those talks which women give men are notoriously boring to us.

Not once in the history of mankind has a man ever given a **** about your banal day.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 3

stargirl63

17

can't you call him? Maybe there's things that he would say on the phone that he wouldn't via text?

When my ex did this, I hated it. even when there was stuff to say, he would tell me "well it's happened now, it doesn't really matter if you know or not, what's the point of chit chat" .. I just didn't get it. You need to be able to speak to each other. Just ask him more direct questions, what he had for lunch, how was his journey into work etc. see what he says.

Reply 4

TomWas'Ere2015

2

Original post by Anonymous

I love sharing details about my day, my feeling and my struggles with my guy. We have been together almost a year now and he has always seemed to struggle to talk about things. When I try to encourage him I get " I just dont know what to say" or very blunt answers such as " no not done anything today". I know I sound like a typical girlfriend ,but it is the one thing that bothers me in the relationship. Any advice? Is this my problem or his?

You can't really expect him too. Tbh, speaking about feelinhs and stuff is more a female trait.. Back in early evolutionary history, the women would stay in their caves or go out and pick berries and TALK to each other, whereas the men would go off hunting. This is why women talk so much within social groups, much much more on average than their male counterparts.. You wanna know why more males commit suicide than females? They find it harder to be open with how they're feeling, thus more are depressed, but showing this is considered to be feminine as males are out to spread their genetics onto offspring... This is why feminism/masculism/antifeminism is so fked up. MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. THEY CAN NEVER BE EQUAL. If you want a partner who speaks openly about their feelings, find a feminine male (very many of them nowadays, to find on look for a feminine jawbone, cheekbones, wide eyes, slender nows, small brow,, etc) or go with another woman.. Na I jkin, just don't expect what's not in him.

"Is this my problem of his" now I'm no expert, but I'd say its your problem. If he doesn't want to talk about whatever it is, don't expect him to.. Its they way the female brain is that wants to share such information - not the male (in most cases)

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 5

TomWas'Ere2015

2

Original post by stargirl63

can't you call him? Maybe there's things that he would say on the phone that he wouldn't via text?

When my ex did this, I hated it. even when there was stuff to say, he would tell me "well it's happened now, it doesn't really matter if you know or not, what's the point of chit chat" .. I just didn't get it. You need to be able to speak to each other. Just ask him more direct questions, what he had for lunch, how was his journey into work etc. see what he says.

More direct questions is the way to go. That's more male.. Like 'wheres the beast Grunt?", to which Grunt relies: 'over there by that tree'

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

TomWas'Ere2015

2

Original post by KingStannis

I heard that while girls use language to develop relationships, boys use it to convey information. If nothing note worthy has happened, there is no need for him to talk about his day.

That's just common sense, whoever told you that didn't need to.

Reply 7

phunky_fresh

14

I agree with the sufferin succotash, let the conversation flow. I'm the same sometimes, I won't get into detail when someone initially asks about my day. Then well into the conversation I'll remember something that happened at work or whatever.

Reply 8

Stewie2011

12

Original post by Anonymous

I love sharing details about my day, my feeling and my struggles with my guy. We have been together almost a year now and he has always seemed to struggle to talk about things. When I try to encourage him I get " I just dont know what to say" or very blunt answers such as " no not done anything today". I know I sound like a typical girlfriend ,but it is the one thing that bothers me in the relationship. Any advice? Is this my problem or his?

Just depends on personality, some people like to go over stressful stuff that's happened say at work to relieve stress some avoid talking about it as reliving it brings back stress. Some people like to hear about it some will get fed up of hearing about other person's trials and tribulations at work and won't want to know. Added to that many guys I think feel vulnerable/exposed if they open up on their emotions/feelings inner self. Women I think often thrive on talking about this stuff, the ins and outs of all that's happening hence their interest in soaps, etc, they just can't get enough of it that they need to analyse the make believe as well.

My guy wont open up!

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