Just had baby - want to go on Holiday with friends!
Hi my girlfriend and I just had a baby boy, love him to bits. We live together in our own place and I'm very happy.
However, I'd like to go on holiday with just my friends next year (2016).. Mentioned it this evening and stuff went seriously sour between us..
Now, I could understand not going on holiday this year with my friends, we've only just had a baby.. And I agreed I'd never leave her on her own at such an early stage. But, am I in the wrong for wanting to go away in a whole years time? If I am, I'll take it on the chin and move on, but would just like to hear others thoughts.
thanks!
However, I'd like to go on holiday with just my friends next year (2016).. Mentioned it this evening and stuff went seriously sour between us..
Now, I could understand not going on holiday this year with my friends, we've only just had a baby.. And I agreed I'd never leave her on her own at such an early stage. But, am I in the wrong for wanting to go away in a whole years time? If I am, I'll take it on the chin and move on, but would just like to hear others thoughts.
thanks!
Firstly, congrats for the baby!
I think what you're asking is pretty reasonable to be honest -I don't see what's wrong with you going on a holiday with your friends.
I'd suggest winning her over by making an equal offer (something that she likes that is). It always seems to work :P
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I think what you're asking is pretty reasonable to be honest -I don't see what's wrong with you going on a holiday with your friends.
I'd suggest winning her over by making an equal offer (something that she likes that is). It always seems to work :P
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It's fine so long as she gets to do exactly the same. It's not fine if you're planning on spending loads of money on yourself and she just gets to stay home with your child.
i find it a bit weird though. Why wouldn't you go on holiday with your family? You have a child now, time to grow up.
i find it a bit weird though. Why wouldn't you go on holiday with your family? You have a child now, time to grow up.
Why can't she come? or maybe just make a long weekend with your friends.
Original post by Anonymous
It's fine so long as she gets to do exactly the same. It's not fine if you're planning on spending loads of money on yourself and she just gets to stay home with your child.
i find it a bit weird though. Why wouldn't you go on holiday with your family? You have a child now, time to grow up.
i find it a bit weird though. Why wouldn't you go on holiday with your family? You have a child now, time to grow up.
Yeah, I think the problem with it is that it looks a bit selfish, you going off with friends to have fun while she sits at home with responsibilities. She'd probably be happier if you went on holiday together.
It's just my opinion, but once you have a family it's more 'normal' to go on holiday with them, rather than your friends.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi my girlfriend and I just had a baby boy, love him to bits. We live together in our own place and I'm very happy.
However, I'd like to go on holiday with just my friends next year (2016).. Mentioned it this evening and stuff went seriously sour between us..
Now, I could understand not going on holiday this year with my friends, we've only just had a baby.. And I agreed I'd never leave her on her own at such an early stage. But, am I in the wrong for wanting to go away in a whole years time? If I am, I'll take it on the chin and move on, but would just like to hear others thoughts.
thanks!
However, I'd like to go on holiday with just my friends next year (2016).. Mentioned it this evening and stuff went seriously sour between us..
Now, I could understand not going on holiday this year with my friends, we've only just had a baby.. And I agreed I'd never leave her on her own at such an early stage. But, am I in the wrong for wanting to go away in a whole years time? If I am, I'll take it on the chin and move on, but would just like to hear others thoughts.
thanks!
Your mistake is assuming you have a life of your own any more.
You now belong to the baby.
Did you tell her you're going Magaluf?
I would first ask- what are you going on holiday to do? If it's a party holiday, then I would also be wary of it if I was your girlfriend. However, if it's going somewhere and having a good time with your mates, who you probably see way less now that you have a baby, I think that's perfectly fine! It's only a week and as long as your finances can support it without putting a strain on anything.
It may just seem soon for you to mention it to her, since you just had a baby and she might think 'why is he already thinking of leaving?' even though that's not really what it is.
It may just seem soon for you to mention it to her, since you just had a baby and she might think 'why is he already thinking of leaving?' even though that's not really what it is.
It's a tad insensitive and comes across as rather selfish.
With respect, your first and foremost priority is to your family now so you need to start putting them first. Which means making compromises. Going out for a beer with your mates is one thing. A weekend away golfing etc. is another.
Suggesting you going away with your mates to a club med destination is not exactly cementing the bond with either your partner or the baby - no matter what you try and say or do to placate her.
With respect, your first and foremost priority is to your family now so you need to start putting them first. Which means making compromises. Going out for a beer with your mates is one thing. A weekend away golfing etc. is another.
Suggesting you going away with your mates to a club med destination is not exactly cementing the bond with either your partner or the baby - no matter what you try and say or do to placate her.
Jeez you guys are too hard on him. He obviously pays attention to his family (according to what he says at least). Going off with a few friends for some days will not bring the end of the world -if anything, it should allow him to come back stronger.
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Original post by Anonymous
Hi my girlfriend and I just had a baby boy, love him to bits. We live together in our own place and I'm very happy.
However, I'd like to go on holiday with just my friends next year (2016).. Mentioned it this evening and stuff went seriously sour between us..
Now, I could understand not going on holiday this year with my friends, we've only just had a baby.. And I agreed I'd never leave her on her own at such an early stage. But, am I in the wrong for wanting to go away in a whole years time? If I am, I'll take it on the chin and move on, but would just like to hear others thoughts.
thanks!
However, I'd like to go on holiday with just my friends next year (2016).. Mentioned it this evening and stuff went seriously sour between us..
Now, I could understand not going on holiday this year with my friends, we've only just had a baby.. And I agreed I'd never leave her on her own at such an early stage. But, am I in the wrong for wanting to go away in a whole years time? If I am, I'll take it on the chin and move on, but would just like to hear others thoughts.
thanks!
However, I completely understand why your girlfriend reacted badly to this idea just now. New babies are massively hard work, and with the best will in the world, most of that work falls on Mum (or at least feels like it!). To broach the idea of you taking yourself off for a week for an extended lads' night out, albeit not until next year, was never going to fall on receptive ears at this stage, even if you'd said that she would get her turn. At this stage of parenthood it's very hard for many mothers to even think about leaving the baby for more than a few hours, let alone overnight. She needs your support, so give it to her, please
Original post by *Stefan*
Jeez you guys are too hard on him. He obviously pays attention to his family (according to what he says at least). Going off with a few friends for some days will not bring the end of the world -if anything, it should allow him to come back stronger.
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Original post by Minerva
Most people reckon that once children are in the frame, family holidays take priority. If you have the funds, a weekend away with your mates next year wouldn't be unreasonable - on the assumption, of course, that your girlfriend gets to do the same with her mates, while you look after your son.
However, I completely understand why your girlfriend reacted badly to this idea just now. New babies are massively hard work, and with the best will in the world, most of that work falls on Mum (or at least feels like it!). To broach the idea of you taking yourself off for a week for an extended lads' night out, albeit not until next year, was never going to fall on receptive ears at this stage, even if you'd said that she would get her turn. At this stage of parenthood it's very hard for many mothers to even think about leaving the baby for more than a few hours, let alone overnight. She needs your support, so give it to her, please
However, I completely understand why your girlfriend reacted badly to this idea just now. New babies are massively hard work, and with the best will in the world, most of that work falls on Mum (or at least feels like it!). To broach the idea of you taking yourself off for a week for an extended lads' night out, albeit not until next year, was never going to fall on receptive ears at this stage, even if you'd said that she would get her turn. At this stage of parenthood it's very hard for many mothers to even think about leaving the baby for more than a few hours, let alone overnight. She needs your support, so give it to her, please
A very reasoned, reasonable and mature response.
Original post by Minerva
Most people reckon that once children are in the frame, family holidays take priority. If you have the funds, a weekend away with your mates next year wouldn't be unreasonable - on the assumption, of course, that your girlfriend gets to do the same with her mates, while you look after your son.
However, I completely understand why your girlfriend reacted badly to this idea just now. New babies are massively hard work, and with the best will in the world, most of that work falls on Mum (or at least feels like it!). To broach the idea of you taking yourself off for a week for an extended lads' night out, albeit not until next year, was never going to fall on receptive ears at this stage, even if you'd said that she would get her turn. At this stage of parenthood it's very hard for many mothers to even think about leaving the baby for more than a few hours, let alone overnight. She needs your support, so give it to her, please
However, I completely understand why your girlfriend reacted badly to this idea just now. New babies are massively hard work, and with the best will in the world, most of that work falls on Mum (or at least feels like it!). To broach the idea of you taking yourself off for a week for an extended lads' night out, albeit not until next year, was never going to fall on receptive ears at this stage, even if you'd said that she would get her turn. At this stage of parenthood it's very hard for many mothers to even think about leaving the baby for more than a few hours, let alone overnight. She needs your support, so give it to her, please
As a mum of three (albeit past the baby stage) this. Totally.
If my husband had of broached a week away with his mates whilst having a newborn, I doubt I'd have taken it very well - whereas a year after they were born and things had settled - hormones, routine, confidence; it'd be a different matter entirely. And it goes without saying, the same courtesy should be extended - I bet in a year, she'd appreciate some time away with her friends? Even if just a weekend
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