How to get him to meet me irl?

I can't help but feel like you're trying to too hard. If talking to your 'friends' is work and such effort then they probably aren't friends at all. Friends would accept you for how you are - you wouldn't need to fiddle with facades in order to have their approval. You just relax, chill out and be yourself around them

Try and get into good habits with your interactions not bad ones and you might find your interactions with people much more fulfilling then.

Please go to the doctors for your own sake ASAP!

Yeah they aren't really my 'real' friends more like people I stay with during school. Whenever I 'relax' and be myself I cant help but feel like I'm constantly being judged so I have to just pretend.

Good habits like what?

I want to go to the doctor because its becoming worse and worse and its so hard to force myself to even get up out of bed or turn up to lesson. Its scary af. But I literally HAVE to wait 2 more weeks.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yep. Sooner you get to university and choose your own friends the better. But your mental health isn't helping you get there! So you must go to the doctor's when you can for that reason. I have the same problem though - earliest appointment in 3weeks after booking >_>

Get into good habits by getting over completely stupid beliefs like "some people deserve being dicks towards". Comeon. Why do they? Do you really know why they are acting how they are? Even if they are solely being malicious ***** what do you get out of it by being a dick? Good emotions for you? Well then that's your problem and that's a bad habit; gamblers get good feelings when they win their gamble. Don't get into a habit of being a ****. That won't get you far in life. Same applies to being a **** to people online just because they don't affect your life. It's a bad habit.

Sigh. I want to go to the doctors ASAP but its so much effort and I cant physically handle that rn. Having to explain myself and potentially meeting someone who doesn't take me seriously etc etc

Sometimes good emotions >.< Yeah I should stop that 'habit', its not good.

Posted from TSR Mobile

You'll be fine. They are trained to specifically deal with these problems. Doctors are not at all physicists. They are more artists than scientists. Medicine is not science. It is an art that incorporates some science in it. Surely you of all people know this since you wanted to/want to study medicine?

They have many people who will come to them with similar problems as you and unlike other people who know nothing about it they do know about it. They know it is a real problem and so they will treat it as such and take you seriously.

You will be fine