Smoking: Please help!

Sorry for the length of this post but any advice would be greatly appreciated, I feel like I'm going crazy so any kind of perspective I can get on this thing would be great.

First of all I've been with my boyfriend for a little bit over a year, our relationship has been a little crazy in that we got together when neither of us were really looking for a relationship, went long distance after 3 months when I went to uni, and now live together just a few months after our first year anniversary. I know a lot of people will say that our relationship moved too fast but he really is everything to me, I've never been with anyone who's made me so happy. We are both very committed to our relationship, he got a job and saved his wages for almost a year so we could afford to live together and he's supported me through some really horrible things this year.

So on the whole, everything is wonderful except now that we're living together I've started to find out some things about him that I didn't know before. Number one being that he smokes. Before I go any further with that let me explain that I'm one of those annoying social smokers who steals cigarettes from their friends when drunk at parties so I am being a bit of a hypocrite here, but as a general rule I hate smoking. I hate how it smells and tastes and feels and obviously I hate how bad it is for you.

As far as I was aware, my boyfriend would have the odd cigarette when he was drunk with his mates and I was fine with that since I do pretty much the same thing. However, since living together I've come to the realisation that he smokes a lot more than that. He comes home every day from work stinking of cigarettes and having been around him and his friends, they invite him out to smoke with them like he's been doing it all year. We went out with a group of people a few months ago and even though we were all pretty much sober I watched him chain smoke about 12 cigarettes throughout the evening.

I don't know what to do about this because for some reason it's driving me crazy. I keep getting angry with him when he comes in stinking of cigarettes and I don't want to kiss him as I find kissing someone who's been smoking really disgusting. I feel betrayed that this whole time he's led me to believe that he was only a social smoker when in fact he's started smoking a whole lot more than that. And he tries to hide it from me. The other day I met him from work and I was waiting outside for him for about 15 minutes after his shift finished wondering why he was late, when he came out he stank of cigarettes but made some excuse about having to finish paperwork. I don't know why exactly it bothers me so much but I really hate the fact that he smokes. I don't know what to do, I want to tell him to quit but I know he probably won't and I don't want to be controlling. This is really causing a problem in our relationship and I'd appreciate any advice anyone has.

Just for anyone who think I should break up with him or anything along those lines, we live together and have joint responsibilities so it's just not that simple. I do love him I just can't stand the smoking.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this far haha

Sorry for the length of this post but any advice would be greatly appreciated, I feel like I'm going crazy so any kind of perspective I can get on this thing would be great.

First of all I've been with my boyfriend for a little bit over a year, our relationship has been a little crazy in that we got together when neither of us were really looking for a relationship, went long distance after 3 months when I went to uni, and now live together just a few months after our first year anniversary. I know a lot of people will say that our relationship moved too fast but he really is everything to me, I've never been with anyone who's made me so happy. We are both very committed to our relationship, he got a job and saved his wages for almost a year so we could afford to live together and he's supported me through some really horrible things this year.

So on the whole, everything is wonderful except now that we're living together I've started to find out some things about him that I didn't know before. Number one being that he smokes. Before I go any further with that let me explain that I'm one of those annoying social smokers who steals cigarettes from their friends when drunk at parties so I am being a bit of a hypocrite here, but as a general rule I hate smoking. I hate how it smells and tastes and feels and obviously I hate how bad it is for you.

As far as I was aware, my boyfriend would have the odd cigarette when he was drunk with his mates and I was fine with that since I do pretty much the same thing. However, since living together I've come to the realisation that he smokes a lot more than that. He comes home every day from work stinking of cigarettes and having been around him and his friends, they invite him out to smoke with them like he's been doing it all year. We went out with a group of people a few months ago and even though we were all pretty much sober I watched him chain smoke about 12 cigarettes throughout the evening.

I don't know what to do about this because for some reason it's driving me crazy. I keep getting angry with him when he comes in stinking of cigarettes and I don't want to kiss him as I find kissing someone who's been smoking really disgusting. I feel betrayed that this whole time he's led me to believe that he was only a social smoker when in fact he's started smoking a whole lot more than that. And he tries to hide it from me. The other day I met him from work and I was waiting outside for him for about 15 minutes after his shift finished wondering why he was late, when he came out he stank of cigarettes but made some excuse about having to finish paperwork. I don't know why exactly it bothers me so much but I really hate the fact that he smokes. I don't know what to do, I want to tell him to quit but I know he probably won't and I don't want to be controlling. This is really causing a problem in our relationship and I'd appreciate any advice anyone has.

Just for anyone who think I should break up with him or anything along those lines, we live together and have joint responsibilities so it's just not that simple. I do love him I just can't stand the smoking.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this far haha

He smokes...... Accept it or move on.


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