I used to want to be quite big. Like 80-85 at 5ft5. Biggest I ever got was 78 and I'm 68 now. I don't really want to get bigger now, just a bit leaner. Being smaller lets me feel more athletic, I didn't realise I didn't feel too good at 78.
There's something to be said for trying to get out of body dysmorphia crew. If you legit want to get big then fine but most guys in the gym more need to sort their heads. I'm trying to remember that for all I'm small by gym standards I'm still a lot more muscular than average. Before I was probably chasing a goal that's barely possible naturally and not thinking it was huge.