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My mum died 9 years ago and I still miss her

I know it's normal to miss someone but I sometimes just think... how the hell did this happen to me, that's not a normal life. I know other people have it worse especially taking the whole world into account and I feel dumb and selfish for still wondering how on earth this happened to me when it did...

I guess it's something that no one can escape and everyone will go through it eventually I just wish I had more time to get to know her. I was still so young when it happened and I feel like I barely knew anything about her and now I just cling to facts because I was too young to know her properly even though I was 12..

Nothing really to be done about it I'm always gonna feel the same I just needed to write it down.

Reply 1

blackcurrent101

people say time heals everything, I'm hoping that will be the case for you aswell :redface:

hope you get through this xx :console:

Reply 2

Anon_98

That's really saddening to hear.- I'm so sorry for your loss. <3

:cry:

Reply 3

sarkrista112

My dad died when I was 2. I have no memories, just random bits and pieces I try and fit together, I haven't even got a single picture of me and him together which hurts even more. That was 23 years ago and I often think why me, I try not to dwell on things because life has to go on. It was worse coming to terms with it in my teenage years, but counselling helped me. However I often think of him, or at least the idea of him, whilst my mum tries to keep his memory alive. You're not alone and I can totally relate. I guess it is what it is.

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Reply 4

fatima1998

xxxxxxxxxx

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

My brother died 11 years ago and it still hurts a hell of a lot. All I need to do is think about him and I start crying (like now actually :colondollar:

). I don't really have any advice because I can't even deal with my own pain but I do think you should try to keep going and do your mum proud with what you do. Can you talk to other family members about her?

Reply 6

GwynLordOfCinder

You lost a parent, you don't need to feel selfish about the frustrations at all. It's a pretty big deal and your entitled to be confused about it regardless of how much time has passed.

Reply 7

username2224711

My condolences to you and your loved ones - I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened. It mustn't have been easy and you probably think it will never get better - but please don't think like that because with time, it will be. Yes it may have been a few years already but different people can only take such news and cope at such a pace. I would actually like to thank you for being so open about it because even if you're anon, its hard to get things off your chest.

I'm going to be honest and say that I can't really relate to what you've posted as I haven't experienced this, but a very good friend of mine lost her mum at the age of twelve as well, so the last few years have been awfully bumpy for her.

This is easier said than done, but try to be strong - and it seems like you've already been so strong after all these years. Remember that everything that you're succeeding in now, you're mother is proud of and is looking down on you smiling.

Massive virtual come from me to you rn and I hope you feel better after getting some things off your chest.

Lots of love,
ravioli x

Reply 8

username2224711

Original post by sarkrista112

Really sorry to hear about your loss, and thank you for opening up like that as it mustn't have been easy.

Lots of love,
ravioli x

Reply 9

brown_eyes

Do you have any siblings? If yes, It helps to talk about it because they're going through the exact same thing as you. I lost my brother recently and I find that It's difficult to talk about it but having siblings or a close member of the family that youre able to talk to always helps.

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Reply 10

sarkrista112

Original post by ravioliyears

Really sorry to hear about your loss, and thank you for opening up like that as it mustn't have been easy.

Lots of love,
ravioli x

Thanks for this and the message, I appreciate your kind words.

Reply 11

Remaine

You have my condolences.
Simultaneously, I want to make clear to that somebody else's struggles being worse, so to speak, doesn't make yours any less valid.
Keep trucking.

Reply 12

Anonymous #3

I am sorry for what had happened; don't be too hard on yourself, it is a very difficult situation to be in for everyone. Losing a love one is miserable; it is okay to take a moment and be sad because after all we are humans and we have emotions. Try to focus on the good memories you had with her. She must be very proud of you. Think of it this way, she is still with you but it is just that she is watching over you from a place that is far far away. This might be very silly but it is good to hold onto the thought that she is still with you although not physcially if you get what I mean. It is totally okay to take a moment to mourn for her and as everyone suggested, it will be a great idea talking to a close family member about it. If not a dear friend might also be supportive. I hope everything works out for you.

Reply 13

Phil_Blaze

I am sorry for your loss. I can't relate to your loss and it may be hard to move on. This may sound cliche and overused but I think you should use your mother as motivation in life. When things look impossible (and their will be moments in your life) just remember or just imagine good moments with your mother. I hope that this will help you find motivation in life. This is also a message to others who have lost loved ones.