Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

It been a year

Announcements Posted on
Would YOU be put off a uni with a high crime rate? First 50 to have their say get a £5 Amazon voucher! 27-10-2016
    • Thread Starter

    My ex broke up with me a year ago. It was civil, no shouting but it was unexpected for me. She did the day after I came back from travelling, she had returned from her trip about 3 weeks before me.

    We'd been going out 2.5 years and met at Uni, she had done a placement year after around 3 months after she got back, I got a job offer in another city, so all but about 3 months of our relationship was long distance.

    We don't speak to each other,we don't see each other, we (to my knowledge) have removed most if not all 'us' stuff from the public domain.

    As mentioned about it been a year now and it has made me think why it happened. Neither of us cheated, our friends thought we were the couple that would stay together. Our friends didn't believe it when they heard the news. I didn't do anything wrong, a point that she made over and over again while saying she was sorry over and over again.

    I obviously understand that if it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be. I thought we were in love, and it makes me wonder if I can be that wrong about something, what signs did I miss, could I have changed the outcome, was there actually something that I could have done, done better or not done at all.

    Then that makes me wonder if this is how others feel when a relationship is over, how do you start again? Do you ever have these thoughts or doubts in your mind? How do you move on completely, when can you say it doesn't affect you any more?

    Thoughts, advice and comforting words are more than welcome.

    Coming from someone in a similar boat to you (long-term relationship, dumped a year ago), I can somewhat understand how you feel. Sometimes two people don't fit together and that's fine, it happens and life goes on, but you'll perhaps always have that voice in your mind going "What if". It's hard not to think about, and even when that subsides you still have the memories and feelings associated with that person.

    Things take time. Letting go is hard and painful and a whole other bunch of emotions. It's a process, one which many people go through and learn from. There may have been signs, and maybe things could have gone differently, but right in the here-and-now the relationship is over and acceptance is a crucial part of moving forward.

    How do you start again? Become YOU again. All those friends you lost touch with, all those hobbies you stopped pursuing? Pick them up again. That holiday you wanted to go on? Go do it.

    Break-ups are a process of healing and self-reflection, time and space. Continue forward knowing that everything will be alright in the end, knowing that this relationship was simply a stepping stone to a longer, more fruitful one.

    To be honest I think she just got lonely and bored ( I might be wrong) but you were gone for 3 weeks and she just didn't appear to be able to handle that. Maybe this is why she broke up with you. I don't think it was your fault. I think it's time you look for some one new and put yourself back out there
    , the only way you can begin to feel better is to put her in the past and move on with your life.

    Hope this helped,

    P.s. You will feel better
Write a reply…


Submit reply


Thanks for posting! You just need to create an account in order to submit the post
  1. this can't be left blank
    that username has been taken, please choose another Forgotten your password?
  2. this can't be left blank
    this email is already registered. Forgotten your password?
  3. this can't be left blank

    6 characters or longer with both numbers and letters is safer

  4. this can't be left empty
    your full birthday is required
  1. Oops, you need to agree to our Ts&Cs to register
  2. Slide to join now Processing…

Updated: July 13, 2016
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

I want...

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.