you have to win the heart and mind of your mother - you have to convince her that being a normal western girl isn't shameful, and in fact, to think of dressing in that way as "shameful" or something similar is just xenophobic bigotry from her. she needs to understand that while she might be from "the old country", *you* were born in the west. you and the west are inseparable. if multiculturalism has tuaght us anything, it's that you cannot separate people from their community - and the west *is* your community. you have a link to the community of "the old country" through your blood and family, but ultimately, *your* community, that you were born and raised in, is the west. so you ought to be allowed to come to terms with that fact and identify as a western girl. if your parents didn't want you to integrate into the west, then they shouldn't have made the mistake of raising you in the west to begin with - if anybody is "at fault", it is your parent(s).