Basically i've lost all my confidence and focus...I feel completely out of touch with other applicants with my credentials, because I haven't practised my skills in so long, and I just feel not cut out for industry anymore.
I think this is largely due to a lack of motivation and interest that I once had. Whenever I am on the phone to recruiters or prospective employers I get anxiious and have panic attacks when they start directing questions towards me, like- 'So what have you been doing since you left uni?'- 'What do you want to do, what are you looking for?'. Because realistically I have no idea anymore, heck, I'm just not even sure I enjoy this stuff anymore, let alone I question my confidence in my own abilities.
My heart races when I'm asked what I've been doing since leaving uni, as I guess I don't value myself in what I've already done. To be completely honest, all I've done is the odd freelance project, in between working my day job (which has absolutely nothing to do with my prospective career). I don't live and breathe for my ideal career anymore.
I guess it shines through when I talk to employers- as I find it hard to be enthusiastic because I lack confidence, and I don't know how to get back into things. This is especially true when I have no idea what specific job in industry that I would want. Part of this is down to my distinct lack of experience, however, part of me feels I could've tried harder hence my guilt.
Theres been a steady decline in my wellbeing as a result.
I guess in an ideal world, if I could say to an employer, I've been on a work placement or got 6 months solid work experience or done an internship at a Design agency or done this and that I'd be comfortable with discussing. But I haven't. All I've done is some small time, run of the mill graphic design projects., logos, leaflets, and posters. Nothing commercial, all voluntary.
Anybody got any constructive advice for me?