The Student Room Group

Are you confident?

Hi, so whenever I go out, whether it be clubbing, shopping or for a meal, everyone my age (21) looks so comfortable and confident with themselves and how they look and are.
Which is great! However, I'm the complete opposite. I feel grubby and anxious and have no confidence at all.
I'm not happy with how I look or who I am. Does anyone else feel like this?

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Original post by adollop
Hi, so whenever I go out, whether it be clubbing, shopping or for a meal, everyone my age (21) looks so comfortable and confident with themselves and how they look and are.
Which is great! However, I'm the complete opposite. I feel grubby and anxious and have no confidence at all.
I'm not happy with how I look or who I am. Does anyone else feel like this?


Don't worry you're not alone haha, but what helps you feel more confident?
Original post by adollop
Hi, so whenever I go out, whether it be clubbing, shopping or for a meal, everyone my age (21) looks so comfortable and confident with themselves and how they look and are.
Which is great! However, I'm the complete opposite. I feel grubby and anxious and have no confidence at all.
I'm not happy with how I look or who I am. Does anyone else feel like this?



Don't worry you're not alone haha, but what helps you feel more confident?
Its simple, improve yourself until you have the right and reason to be as confident as they are.
Yeah I have always lacked confidence, even around my close friends I still feel anxious. You are certainly not alone!
Nope same here but after watching Limitless (2011) I got more and more confident.
Once you learn to love yourself, you become confident. Also fake it till you make it.
Reply 7
Get something to be confident about and remind yourself about it.
your great at swimming, that guys over there eating his meal is NOT as good at swimming as you be confident that something you have that you exceed others in
I think that's why people drink when they go out. I find if i'm drunk I'm a different sort of person. Sometimes I go to far and I know I can really piss off people sometimes, esp guys, but it helps I guess.
Not really. I seem confident on the outside, but I'm a real weakling on the inside. :redface:
Confident in...
Ability
Intelligence
Logical thought
"Stuff up there" basically

Not so confident in:
How I look
A fear of not wanting to say how how I truly feel about a girl because of one incident when I was 18, where she also refused to acknowledge me even as a friend
Original post by adollop
Hi, so whenever I go out, whether it be clubbing, shopping or for a meal, everyone my age (21) looks so comfortable and confident with themselves and how they look and are.
Which is great! However, I'm the complete opposite. I feel grubby and anxious and have no confidence at all.
I'm not happy with how I look or who I am. Does anyone else feel like this?


Yeah but theyre only coming across as confident and comfortable in who they are, they might not feel that way deep down inside, but they just aren't showing it, whether in their body language or what theyre talking about. instead of sitting on a night out saying "im so ugly, i hate myself!" theyll not open up about that.

Im not confident at all, I got a first at uni but dont believe in myself, and i know thats stupid because loads of people would love to be in my position. but i have some idea why i dont believe in myself, was bullied all throughout high school, was in abusive relationships, all my life ive had people tell me im ugly, too skinny, not good enough etc. ive listened and allowed those words to chip away at my self esteem. however I am doing something about it, ive gotten self help books, ive been to therapy, im going to public speaking classes to try to overcome my fear of public speaking. i might not look in the mirror and think "im amazing!" but I am trying to feel better about myself.

one weird thing that happened as well was a guy on the apprentice was talking about how he got a first at uni, and he was *so* arrogant and self-confident (or at least acted that way). and i thought to myself, its strange how i got a first but i dont behave that way. i think im useless, not good enough etc. so it was strange seeing how someone else behaved with similar qualifications to me.
I am far from confident lol so most times I just fake it.
Reply 13
Online - Yes
Real world - Hell no
Overconfindent lol
Confident but not confident if you know what i mean?
Its easier to be confident online because you have whole communities thta understand you, and you can have a laugh with while the real world is filled with cruel people and its a dog eat dog world if you're seen as being weak.
No but you wouldn't be able to tell
Years of practice at faking it
One day I'll be able to stop faking it
Somewhat.

I'm confident in knowing who I am and happy with a lot of what I've achieved. I'm not afraid to say no or stand up for what I believe in, and I'm strong enough to go out and do my own thing irregardless of what people think. I fail socially and romantically, which hinders my confidence in social situations, but otherwise whilst solo I'm usually fine.
Over-conficence is never good anyways.

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