Failed as a big sister

Today it is my younger sister’s 12th birthday. I have one other who is 9. I live in England and they live back in my home country over 2000 miles away. Every year on their birthdays I get upset, because even as their big sister, they have never and will never need me, and as each year goes by it’s another year of their lives that I’ve missed. It’s difficult of course because of the distance, and our age gap and differences in language to even establish a sister/sibling relationship. But really I just feel as though I have failed them. I’ve never been there for them for anything, and although it’s not completely my fault I just feel this huge amount of guilt that I’ve never been the big sister they need. I get that it is probably quite complicated but does anyone have any advice on how I could start to feel better about this?

Reply 1

AKK423

Original post by Anonymous

Today it is my...

By language barrier do you mean a slight difference in regional slang or a complete inability to communicate as you speak x and they speak y?

Reply 2

username5428282

Are they your half-sisters? How old are you?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by AKK423

By language barrier do you mean a slight difference in regional slang or a complete inability to communicate as you speak x and they speak y?

Yes I speak English and they speak Greek, but I have forgotten most of my Greek and they don’t know English

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by YaliaV123

Are they your half-sisters? How old are you?

Yeah they are, but I don’t really like calling them that. I’m 17

Reply 5

username5428282

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah they are, but I don’t really like calling them that. I’m 17

It isn’t your fault because you had to move with your family and I’m sure you’ll be able to reconnect in the future. You could brush up on your Greek to prepare for that day and you have nothing to feel guilty about. Do your parents know how you feel?

Reply 6

AKK423

I'd say first, as you are aware already, understand that this situation is out of your control.
Secondly, learning more Greek would be enormously helpful and then you can text with them at the very least - maybe facetime when you can speak a bit.
Third, you could always send them presents to let them know that you care for them. Especially as you're older and so can utilise that to introduce them to cool "young girl" things they may not even have heard of.