Omg my sister is fighting me over childcare
Okay LONG story short.
My sister is 34 , I’m 23. We both in uni atm
She had a baby at 20 and me my mum and dad who passed away look after the baby all her life she’s 14 now till this day she even stays with us majority days. My neiece has never seen her father
My sister chose to get pregnant for a man she’s been with 6 months. And he mentally forced her to keep the baby. So she now has a 1 year old and chosen to go to uni.
She expects me to help her so much. Because this is rhe 2nd babydad that isn’t in the child’s life. My sister is quit toxic and pushes them away by insulting them and stuff and physically fighting.
Anyways, she is does work expiernece 3 days a week. Her 1 year old is in nursery them days. Since September I’ve been picking the baby up from nursery after uni.
Anyways she’s now doing intense work experience where she is having to work 7:30am. Nursery opens at 8. She asked me now for 16 weeks to drop baby to nursery and pick him up. But I don’t want to I’m not a morning person and I have stuff to do so I need good sleep. She is putting so much pressure on me. I already said to her I can pick him up from nursery but not drop him. I lied and said I’m working those days so I can’t drop him but I can pick him. So she’s now told one of her friends to drop him to nursery as the friend child goes same nursery. However every week she’s been asking if I’m working that week and it got so frustrating because I told her already what it is. We got into an argument and she was acting so ungrateful saying you’re going to need me in the future.
Sorry but since I was 9 and she had her first I’ve been looking after her kids. I am now tired. It’s not my fault she can’t co parent with these men and they run away from her and her kids.
Am I evil for not wanting to wake up super early to drop the kids? I use to do school runs then go college with my neiece. Now I’m older I have the choice.
Pls help. This is causing a big strain on my family life. My mum agrees with me as she said my sister is really ungrateful. My sister then went home and told all her friends I’m a wicked bad person. I heard because I called my niece and she told me.
Pls help with advice.
My sister is 34 , I’m 23. We both in uni atm
She had a baby at 20 and me my mum and dad who passed away look after the baby all her life she’s 14 now till this day she even stays with us majority days. My neiece has never seen her father
My sister chose to get pregnant for a man she’s been with 6 months. And he mentally forced her to keep the baby. So she now has a 1 year old and chosen to go to uni.
She expects me to help her so much. Because this is rhe 2nd babydad that isn’t in the child’s life. My sister is quit toxic and pushes them away by insulting them and stuff and physically fighting.
Anyways, she is does work expiernece 3 days a week. Her 1 year old is in nursery them days. Since September I’ve been picking the baby up from nursery after uni.
Anyways she’s now doing intense work experience where she is having to work 7:30am. Nursery opens at 8. She asked me now for 16 weeks to drop baby to nursery and pick him up. But I don’t want to I’m not a morning person and I have stuff to do so I need good sleep. She is putting so much pressure on me. I already said to her I can pick him up from nursery but not drop him. I lied and said I’m working those days so I can’t drop him but I can pick him. So she’s now told one of her friends to drop him to nursery as the friend child goes same nursery. However every week she’s been asking if I’m working that week and it got so frustrating because I told her already what it is. We got into an argument and she was acting so ungrateful saying you’re going to need me in the future.
Sorry but since I was 9 and she had her first I’ve been looking after her kids. I am now tired. It’s not my fault she can’t co parent with these men and they run away from her and her kids.
Am I evil for not wanting to wake up super early to drop the kids? I use to do school runs then go college with my neiece. Now I’m older I have the choice.
Pls help. This is causing a big strain on my family life. My mum agrees with me as she said my sister is really ungrateful. My sister then went home and told all her friends I’m a wicked bad person. I heard because I called my niece and she told me.
Pls help with advice.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay LONG story short.
My sister is 34 , I’m 23. We both in uni atm
She had a baby at 20 and me my mum and dad who passed away look after the baby all her life she’s 14 now till this day she even stays with us majority days. My neiece has never seen her father
My sister chose to get pregnant for a man she’s been with 6 months. And he mentally forced her to keep the baby. So she now has a 1 year old and chosen to go to uni.
She expects me to help her so much. Because this is rhe 2nd babydad that isn’t in the child’s life. My sister is quit toxic and pushes them away by insulting them and stuff and physically fighting.
Anyways, she is does work expiernece 3 days a week. Her 1 year old is in nursery them days. Since September I’ve been picking the baby up from nursery after uni.
Anyways she’s now doing intense work experience where she is having to work 7:30am. Nursery opens at 8. She asked me now for 16 weeks to drop baby to nursery and pick him up. But I don’t want to I’m not a morning person and I have stuff to do so I need good sleep. She is putting so much pressure on me. I already said to her I can pick him up from nursery but not drop him. I lied and said I’m working those days so I can’t drop him but I can pick him. So she’s now told one of her friends to drop him to nursery as the friend child goes same nursery. However every week she’s been asking if I’m working that week and it got so frustrating because I told her already what it is. We got into an argument and she was acting so ungrateful saying you’re going to need me in the future.
Sorry but since I was 9 and she had her first I’ve been looking after her kids. I am now tired. It’s not my fault she can’t co parent with these men and they run away from her and her kids.
Am I evil for not wanting to wake up super early to drop the kids? I use to do school runs then go college with my neiece. Now I’m older I have the choice.
Pls help. This is causing a big strain on my family life. My mum agrees with me as she said my sister is really ungrateful. My sister then went home and told all her friends I’m a wicked bad person. I heard because I called my niece and she told me.
Pls help with advice.
My sister is 34 , I’m 23. We both in uni atm
She had a baby at 20 and me my mum and dad who passed away look after the baby all her life she’s 14 now till this day she even stays with us majority days. My neiece has never seen her father
My sister chose to get pregnant for a man she’s been with 6 months. And he mentally forced her to keep the baby. So she now has a 1 year old and chosen to go to uni.
She expects me to help her so much. Because this is rhe 2nd babydad that isn’t in the child’s life. My sister is quit toxic and pushes them away by insulting them and stuff and physically fighting.
Anyways, she is does work expiernece 3 days a week. Her 1 year old is in nursery them days. Since September I’ve been picking the baby up from nursery after uni.
Anyways she’s now doing intense work experience where she is having to work 7:30am. Nursery opens at 8. She asked me now for 16 weeks to drop baby to nursery and pick him up. But I don’t want to I’m not a morning person and I have stuff to do so I need good sleep. She is putting so much pressure on me. I already said to her I can pick him up from nursery but not drop him. I lied and said I’m working those days so I can’t drop him but I can pick him. So she’s now told one of her friends to drop him to nursery as the friend child goes same nursery. However every week she’s been asking if I’m working that week and it got so frustrating because I told her already what it is. We got into an argument and she was acting so ungrateful saying you’re going to need me in the future.
Sorry but since I was 9 and she had her first I’ve been looking after her kids. I am now tired. It’s not my fault she can’t co parent with these men and they run away from her and her kids.
Am I evil for not wanting to wake up super early to drop the kids? I use to do school runs then go college with my neiece. Now I’m older I have the choice.
Pls help. This is causing a big strain on my family life. My mum agrees with me as she said my sister is really ungrateful. My sister then went home and told all her friends I’m a wicked bad person. I heard because I called my niece and she told me.
Pls help with advice.
You've already done more than your fair share. Stick to your guns as you need to focus on your studies.
You shouldn't have been looking after her child at 9 as a minor, even with your mother present there shouldn't have been any burden of responsibility placed upon you. Bad habits I think got ingrained early and are repeating themselves now.
The biggest thing here is that your Sister is 100 percent responsible for bringing up the child from day one, no one else. She's off loading responsibility that should be hers. The child comes first always, she shouldn't be taking up work experience if she can't be there for the child. In my view she is very much all wanting to have things her way and it's very selfish of her. She's manipulated it so she has kicked the Father's out of being Father's and having contact which is probably horrible for them and so it seems they have been used as little more than sperm donors. I suspect that the making her have the child mentally is her overplaying it. Yes they no doubt very much probably wanted her to have the child but she is likely stirring that up knowing that. She's probably getting benefits and having life all the way 'she' wants it never mind anyone else, total control without the Father while offloading most of the work of upbringing a child. All to often are cases of this abound these days unfortunately.
Make sure you stick to your guns, don't let her offload any responsibility onto you and if possible seek out your own life independent of her. If you're around this lazy and toxic person she will no doubt try it on again and again and that something you can no doubt do without.
The biggest thing here is that your Sister is 100 percent responsible for bringing up the child from day one, no one else. She's off loading responsibility that should be hers. The child comes first always, she shouldn't be taking up work experience if she can't be there for the child. In my view she is very much all wanting to have things her way and it's very selfish of her. She's manipulated it so she has kicked the Father's out of being Father's and having contact which is probably horrible for them and so it seems they have been used as little more than sperm donors. I suspect that the making her have the child mentally is her overplaying it. Yes they no doubt very much probably wanted her to have the child but she is likely stirring that up knowing that. She's probably getting benefits and having life all the way 'she' wants it never mind anyone else, total control without the Father while offloading most of the work of upbringing a child. All to often are cases of this abound these days unfortunately.
Make sure you stick to your guns, don't let her offload any responsibility onto you and if possible seek out your own life independent of her. If you're around this lazy and toxic person she will no doubt try it on again and again and that something you can no doubt do without.
Original post by Katerina S.
You shouldn't have been looking after her child at 9 as a minor, even with your mother present there shouldn't have been any burden of responsibility placed upon you. Bad habits I think got ingrained early and are repeating themselves now.
The biggest thing here is that your Sister is 100 percent responsible for bringing up the child from day one, no one else. She's off loading responsibility that should be hers. The child comes first always, she shouldn't be taking up work experience if she can't be there for the child. In my view she is very much all wanting to have things her way and it's very selfish of her. She's manipulated it so she has kicked the Father's out of being Father's and having contact which is probably horrible for them and so it seems they have been used as little more than sperm donors. I suspect that the making her have the child mentally is her overplaying it. Yes they no doubt very much probably wanted her to have the child but she is likely stirring that up knowing that. She's probably getting benefits and having life all the way 'she' wants it never mind anyone else, total control without the Father while offloading most of the work of upbringing a child. All to often are cases of this abound these days unfortunately.
Make sure you stick to your guns, don't let her offload any responsibility onto you and if possible seek out your own life independent of her. If you're around this lazy and toxic person she will no doubt try it on again and again and that something you can no doubt do without.
The biggest thing here is that your Sister is 100 percent responsible for bringing up the child from day one, no one else. She's off loading responsibility that should be hers. The child comes first always, she shouldn't be taking up work experience if she can't be there for the child. In my view she is very much all wanting to have things her way and it's very selfish of her. She's manipulated it so she has kicked the Father's out of being Father's and having contact which is probably horrible for them and so it seems they have been used as little more than sperm donors. I suspect that the making her have the child mentally is her overplaying it. Yes they no doubt very much probably wanted her to have the child but she is likely stirring that up knowing that. She's probably getting benefits and having life all the way 'she' wants it never mind anyone else, total control without the Father while offloading most of the work of upbringing a child. All to often are cases of this abound these days unfortunately.
Make sure you stick to your guns, don't let her offload any responsibility onto you and if possible seek out your own life independent of her. If you're around this lazy and toxic person she will no doubt try it on again and again and that something you can no doubt do without.
Yes 100%.
honestly tired of it. She’s been crying as I shouted at her yesterday about it.
she ungrateful I already pick the baby up from nursery x3.
I feel bad about lying that I’m working so I don’t have to drop him to nursery early morning.
uni is a choice and she choose to go back to studies.
She asks if I’m working on certain days but it’s like if it’s my day off or week off I don’t want to spend it babysitting.
she says I’m suppose to help her because I’m her only sister.
Original post by normaw
You've already done more than your fair share. Stick to your guns as you need to focus on your studies.
I know. I just feel bad for lying saying I’m working when I’m not so I don’t have to babysit or wake up early to drop baby to nursery.
uni is a choice at the end of the day she should drop out if she can’t do it.
she’s crying and stuff saying I’m her sister I’m suppose to help her out. But I already pick him up x3 a week from nursery.
Your sister sounds absolutely horrible and I'm sorry you had to deal with all her problems. It feels like the situation is repeating itself, because she's already trying to push her second child onto you. You've done way more than enough and I can't say it enough, you've already been a parental figure for her first child and your sister is being super unreasonable. She shouldn't bother having more kids if she's just going to dump them on other people. She needs to get her life sorted out and stop being horrible to those around her, beggars can't be choosers especially if she's treating the father of her kids like that - she needs the support and her kids deserve a father figure.
It's not your problem to deal with, you've already been a massive help which she won't ever be able to pay you back for and you deserve to focus on your life instead of all your sister's babies. I'm a uni student too and I understand how difficult this can all be and sleep is definitely important! If you carry on dealing with all her problems for her it's going to lead to you burning out and under performing at university.
You're not evil.
You're not wrong.
You're doing your best and your sister is ungrateful - she is not entitled to your help and shouldn't be forcing this all on you. I find it funny that she talks about helping you in the future when she barely deals with her own. If she's complaining to her friends about all this, then you can also let them know all the madness your sister has put you through, she's lazy, toxic and incompetent; you're better off cutting ties with her and let her experience all you've been through - she needs tough love as others have said. Good luck with your studies and I hope this situation gets better for you.
It's not your problem to deal with, you've already been a massive help which she won't ever be able to pay you back for and you deserve to focus on your life instead of all your sister's babies. I'm a uni student too and I understand how difficult this can all be and sleep is definitely important! If you carry on dealing with all her problems for her it's going to lead to you burning out and under performing at university.
You're not evil.
You're not wrong.
You're doing your best and your sister is ungrateful - she is not entitled to your help and shouldn't be forcing this all on you. I find it funny that she talks about helping you in the future when she barely deals with her own. If she's complaining to her friends about all this, then you can also let them know all the madness your sister has put you through, she's lazy, toxic and incompetent; you're better off cutting ties with her and let her experience all you've been through - she needs tough love as others have said. Good luck with your studies and I hope this situation gets better for you.
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