Am I settling for less plus age gap

Hey I’m 28 my bf is 38.

Am I settling for less as in what he does for me. We have a pretty good relationship.

But he’s only taken me out twice as in sit down for food.
The other time he’ll pay like 60% of the time. Like when I’m with him he’ll drive to go get me food if I come out the car 60% of the time I’ll pay for my food as he usually doesn’t buy anything. He’s got me flowers 3 times. He had his phone due for upgrade but he don’t care about phones so he gave me his upgrade of iPhone 14 pro max. He lives pay check from pay check. He doesn’t have much money after his bills. He sent me £50 when I was on holiday because I asked for massage.

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

20

Sounds like he's doing his best to treat you right, given his circumstances. You, yourself said that he doesn't have much, . so he could easily be making excuses about not having much money, and not giving you anything...but he's giving what he can for you

IMHO, material things are less important... the key thing here is that he's making the effort to try and make you feel special / valued. Does he actually know you want to be wined and dined in restaurants?

Maybe he's not a "golden-egg" but he sounds like a good egg.

Sounds like he treats you well.

Reply 3

black tea

19

Settling for less than what? What are you doing for him?

Reply 4

Ackhnologia

13

Original post by black tea

Settling for less than what? What are you doing for him?

She wants more money from him
get showered with money, i guess.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Old Skool Freak

Sounds like he's doing his best to treat you right, given his circumstances. You, yourself said that he doesn't have much, . so he could easily be making excuses about not having much money, and not giving you anything...but he's giving what he can for you

IMHO, material things are less important... the key thing here is that he's making the effort to try and make you feel special / valued. Does he actually know you want to be wined and dined in restaurants?

Maybe he's not a "golden-egg" but he sounds like a good egg.

Yeah I understand but he’s 38. Not 22 he should be doing more?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Ackhnologia

She wants more money from him
get showered with money, i guess.

and if that was true. What would be the problem ?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by black tea

Settling for less than what? What are you doing for him?

I don’t need to do anything but be his peace.
He should provide full stop.

Reply 8

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah I understand but he’s 38. Not 22 he should be doing more?

Well, as I said, he's doing what he can.

Different people will have had different standards set for them for how they live, what they achieve in life etc. Furthermore, to achieve your best potential would require a certain degree of luck / fortune as well as the drive, knowledge, determination etc.

Without knowing more about his background, commitments, limitations etc. I can't comment any further on your situation... but if you feel he isn't providing for you, maybe you should set him free, so he can find someone who'll be happy with his efforts. IMHO, I think it's unreasonable for you to demand that he does more for you simply because of his age.

Reply 9

EnigmaChess

15

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t need to do anything but be his peace.
He should provide full stop.

Wow, not to judge but that came across as extremely entitled. A relationship is a two way thing, love is not defined by material, but by feeling and thought, putting a value to love is incredibly narrow minded. It sounds like he is trying very hard to "provide" for you and you should be appreciative.

Reply 10

Katerina S.

10

OP you could end up messing things up with him if you push this. Try and see it from the guys perspective, if you go asking for more he may see it as you are just with him for the money, that you don't care about him, i.e materialist. That's a dead turn off for a lot of guys as many need to feel you are with them for who they are. So pushing this could turn into a reciprocal downward motion in your relationship that you may not be able to reverse once it's got going. An older guy doesn't necessarily mean a more wealthy guy, done people get lucky in life and some don't just the way it is.

Reply 11

Kschu

12

Original post by Anonymous

I don’t need to do anything but be his peace.
He should provide full stop.

IMHO, unless you’re married, raising his kids, making a home, I don’t think it is his full responsibility to provide. Since you’re just bf/gf, the provision should be 50/50.

Am I settling for less plus age gap

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