The Student Room Group

Do you believe in love at first sight on a dating site?

For once I found a profile that stands out.
I feel like it's love. So attracted to her and not in a way where she's the type that would attract all guys. Looking for the right way to approach this as well if anyone has any experience or tips about the situation.
Reply 1
How do you fall in love with words on a screen?

You don't know it's genuine and not an attempt just to be different.
Original post by Surnia
How do you fall in love with words on a screen?

You don't know it's genuine and not an attempt just to be different.


It's pretty unpretentious. And then there's the pics.
Make sure you have professional looking photos on your profile
Have a profile that's polarising that stands out from the crowd that will get an emotional reaction.
Use a good opener and follow it up with good online game.
Be preapared to lose her.
Be prepared that the reality of her will be different to the online. With this applying to all the profiles you haven't fallen in love with.
Be prepared that she may have received 100 messages from other guys that feel the same way as you and that you may not even get a reply from her.
Don't send her money if she asks for it, or drops hints that it would help her.

Love at first sight is a thing. It happens.

2 approaches you could take.
1 go really over the top on how much you love her, in a taking the mickey out of yourself, self parodying kind of way
2 be very understated about the strength of your feelings until you've slept with her a few times

... And if you saw a woman, going about your every day life, with whom you fell in love with at first sight, would you go up to her and break the ice? And if you did, how good a job do you think you'd do?
Getting the skills to attract women you are attracted to is more important than whether any one particular woman loves you back.
Reply 4
Nope.
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
Make sure you have professional looking photos on your profile
Have a profile that's polarising that stands out from the crowd that will get an emotional reaction.
Use a good opener and follow it up with good online game.
Be preapared to lose her.
Be prepared that the reality of her will be different to the online. With this applying to all the profiles you haven't fallen in love with.
Be prepared that she may have received 100 messages from other guys that feel the same way as you and that you may not even get a reply from her.
Don't send her money if she asks for it, or drops hints that it would help her.

Love at first sight is a thing. It happens.

2 approaches you could take.
1 go really over the top on how much you love her, in a taking the mickey out of yourself, self parodying kind of way
2 be very understated about the strength of your feelings until you've slept with her a few times

... And if you saw a woman, going about your every day life, with whom you fell in love with at first sight, would you go up to her and break the ice? And if you did, how good a job do you think you'd do?
Getting the skills to attract women you are attracted to is more important than whether any one particular woman loves you back.


Yeah points taken. She did initiate contact but whatever. I'm best off being philosophical about the whole issue, even if this is a rarity.
Reply 6
That's not love! Not yet anyway. You hardly know anything about her. She might not even be a "she", might not be using her real pics or name. Just be careful..
There's no such thing as love at first sight even in real life, let alone on a dating profile.
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
Yeah points taken. She did initiate contact but whatever. I'm best off being philosophical about the whole issue, even if this is a rarity.


Cool! That's great news. Keep things light. Love - at its' best - is light. And joyful.

Start your soft close sequence in response to her first positive message to you.
"How do you feel about drinks and witty banter with cute boys? :smile:" or something along those lines.
Honestly had something like this with my girlfriend. Funnily enough, I didn't actually get a response on the first dating site we matched on. I had no problem getting dates with other girls, so if a girl didn't reply I didn't usually dwell on it, but she stayed on my mind. She was very much the girl next door, classically pretty, her bio felt real, and she was in the same field as me (life science). I'm very eccentric and dress like a punk so figured I just wasn't her type when I didn't get a reply. A month later I matched with her again on another dating site and after staring at her profile for a few mins decided to make a second attempt and surprisingly she accepted my invite to go for a pint. Fast forward a year (it is our anniversary next week) and we now live together and are in the process of buying our first house.

So, in a way, yes I suppose. Love might be too strong a word for it but I knew when I came across her profile that I just wanted to meet this woman. And halfway through our first date I knew she was the woman I wanted to be with. It took a little longer for her to be certain, but she's now just as committed as I am. Romance and lust are still as strong now as it was at the start - usually by this point I've lost interest if I'm being completely honest. I used to live for the thrill of the chase. Not anymore.

Oh, and the reason she didn't respond to my message on the first dating app? She'd uninstalled it and never saw it.

tl;dr - I felt this way with one specific girl on an app and a year later we are buying a house together. Go with your gut and see how it goes. I just asked my now girlfriend if she would like to meet at [pub near the location in her profile pic] for a drink with me and get to know each other in real life. That was literally the very first message - I didn't even say hi first. It worked out.
(edited 11 months ago)
Original post by 1582
Honestly had something like this with my girlfriend. Funnily enough, I didn't actually get a response on the first dating site we matched on. I had no problem getting dates with other girls, so if a girl didn't reply I didn't usually dwell on it, but she stayed on my mind. She was very much the girl next door, classically pretty, her bio felt real, and she was in the same field as me (life science). I'm very eccentric and dress like a punk so figured I just wasn't her type when I didn't get a reply. A month later I matched with her again on another dating site and after staring at her profile for a few mins decided to make a second attempt and surprisingly she accepted my invite to go for a pint. Fast forward a year (it is our anniversary next week) and we now live together and are in the process of buying our first house.

So, in a way, yes I suppose. Love might be too strong a word for it but I knew when I came across her profile that I just wanted to meet this woman. And halfway through our first date I knew she was the woman I wanted to be with. It took a little longer for her to be certain, but she's now just as committed as I am. Romance and lust are still as strong now as it was at the start - usually by this point I've lost interest if I'm being completely honest. I used to live for the thrill of the chase. Not anymore.

Oh, and the reason she didn't respond to my message on the first dating app? She'd uninstalled it and never saw it.

tl;dr - I felt this way with one specific girl on an app and a year later we are buying a house together. Go with your gut and see how it goes. I just asked my now girlfriend if she would like to meet at [pub near the location in her profile pic] for a drink with me and get to know each other in real life. That was literally the very first message - I didn't even say hi first. It worked out.


Good for you matebutIdeleted our chat, couldn't be arsed waiting for someone who wasn't going to speak all night. Just don't know why people initiate chats then go silent when you reply. And no I didn't say anything weird just responded briefly to her intro in the normal way.

On another note the editor acts weird hence why I can't put spaces in to the above text. Wish tsr would sort this.
(edited 11 months ago)
I do believe in love at first site.
But I'd be very cautious of dating sites profiles.
Far too much scope for bots, extensive photoediting of images, scam artists, lies, half truths and very expensive professionally written profiles written by experienced dating coaches or matchmaking experts.
I've only ever been attracted to women based on how they look, so I guess I do.
Well, start with a hello.
Introduce yourself.
Engage in conversation with her. Build on the conversation.
Ask her lots of questions about herself. Make sure she asks you stuff too. That's how you'll know if she's interested. As in does she just reply or is she engaging with you too?
Good luck mate. I'll be expecting updates on this thread, lol.
Original post by Anonymous
Well, start with a hello.
Introduce yourself.
Engage in conversation with her. Build on the conversation.
Ask her lots of questions about herself. Make sure she asks you stuff too. That's how you'll know if she's interested. As in does she just reply or is she engaging with you too?
Good luck mate. I'll be expecting updates on this thread, lol.

Thanks but I already updated above.
I prefer using matrimony sites. You get genuine people wanting long term, serious relationships. I found my partner on a free Facebook group (UK Bangladesh Matrimony) although that's for Bangladeshis only. I'm sure many like this exists.
Reply 16
No I don't believe it to be true.
Especially on a dating site. I just think it's people desiring a relationship or something 🤔 so bad they make things up in their head.
Desperation maybe.
Reply 17
I believe love from first sight, but totally not on dating sites.
Reply 18
Original post by SaucissonSecCy
couldn't be arsed waiting for someone who wasn't going to speak all night. Just don't know why people initiate chats then go silent when you reply. And no I didn't say anything weird just responded briefly to her intro in the normal way.

So you responded briefly, which doesn't give someone much to go on. And you want them to talk to you all night when people want to sleep because they have lives and things to do?

Bit more patience needed, I think.

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